Chapter 10
âAre you all right?â
She couldnât fool her fatherâs eyesâeyes that always worried over and cherished his daughter. Caella forced a cheerful smile at her dad, who had quietly approached and asked.
âIâve caught a bit of a cold. But itâs fine.â
âYou mustâve overdone it. Do you have medicine?â
âI already took some.â
The medicine she hastily procured had, in truth, no effect at all. Her fever spiked violently, her body grew stiff, and pain began to set in.
What was she going to do if she felt like this from the very first day of the event? She sighed inwardly but still did what needed to be done. What else could she do? As always, sheâd just have to endure.
The Emperor, perhaps gloomy over the Empress or feigning ill health, slipped away quietly midway through. Prince Elkanan engaged Duke Ostein in a long, intimate conversation. And Beatrice Lavalle was once again clinging to Pheonâs side.
âPheon, please let me greet that prince too.â
Pheon swiftly plucked a cup of wine from a passing servantâs golden tray and handed it to Beatrice.
âJust drink this for now.â
He silenced Beatrice with wine and concealed his irritation.
But Caella, watching from afar, turned her head away. Her vision was already swimmingâbetter not to look at such scenes. There was nothing new about it anyway. He had always made sure to care for Beatrice, and Beatrice alone.
âToday was absolutely wonderful!â
âThank you for the splendid banquet, Your Highness.â
âNot at all, Your Highness. Itâs thanks to His Majestyâs attention, not mine.â
Though her breathing was growing rougher by the moment, Caella gave her utmost until the very last second.
Duke Ostein would be working late in the Imperial Palace tonight. The negotiations with Kerujan were only just beginning in earnest. Leaning against the now-empty banquet hallâs main entrance after everyone had left, she exhaled a breath scorching with fever.
Her duties were done. Regardless, this event hosted by Princess Ostein would surely be deemed an unbroken success, and Duke Osteinâs reputation would rise accordingly.
It was already fortunate if her father remained merely a reliable aide to the Emperorâat least that would slightly lower the chances of him being assassinated.
âExcuse me, Your Highness.â
She clutched her head and turned to look. A knight she knewâbut whom she was âsupposed not to knowâ at this momentâstood politely, offering a cloak.
âI am Sir Renard, knight under His Grace Grand Duke Lusenford. His Grace, concerned that Your Highnessâs attire was too thin, sent this.â
He had neatly folded the very cloak the Grand Duke wore today and sent it by way of his knight. He had always been like this, even before his death.
Whenever she looked unwell, heâd either send a message telling her to go rest immediately or say just one curt line before sharply turning away. He never once visited her when she was bedridden from illness. If he thought she might need something, heâd at most send Sir Renard or Lord Wilberk to deliver it.
The only person he ever personally cared for was Beatrice Lavalle. To that woman, heâd hand wine himself or give anything directlyâbut to Caella, heâd only ever send subordinates.
That was likely his way of showing special treatment, but simultaneously, it was his way of telling Caella, âYouâre not the one.â
Caella bit her lip hard and glared at the cloak.
If she wasnât âthe one,â then he shouldnât have sent anything like this in the first place. He shouldnât have said things like, âIâm worried your clothes are too thin.â
âSir Renard. Please escort me to His Grace.â
âYes?â
âHurry. Lead the way.â
Though all she wanted was to collapse and sleep, and though her body desperately needed rest, she moved forward with Sir Renardâwho had always brought her things âordered by His Graceââheading straight toward Pheon.
It didnât matter if he was having a rendezvous with Beatrice Lavalle. Caella couldnât tell whether the heat consuming her body came from fever or from wounded, twisted feelings of resentment.
It wouldâve been better if Pheon had been with Beatriceâthen she couldâve definitively drawn a line right before their eyes. But unfortunately, he was quietly conversing with one of his knights.
âYour Grace.â
Pheon stared in surprise as Caella strode straight toward him.
Her face was flushed scarlet from feverâhe wished sheâd just go restâbut sheâd come in her sleeveless dress without even accepting the cloak Sir Renard held folded in his hands. Her expression was firmly angry.
âDo you pity me?â
âWhat?â
Moisture glistened in Caellaâs famously sky-blue eyesâpraised for holding the very heavensânow clouded by feverish tears.
Noâwas he the one making her cry? Caella snatched the cloak from Sir Renard and thrust it abruptly toward Pheon. No, she just slapped it onto his arm.
Pheon was utterly flusteredâCaella had never behaved so rudely toward him before.
âDo you pity me?â
âCaella.â
Just what was going on? Sensing the tension, the maids trailing Caella and Pheonâs knights quietly slipped away.
âWhat are you talking about?â
âWhy do you send a servant to deliver things like this?â
Her voice faltered from pain, so Caella strained her throat even harder to speak clearlyâonly making her words sharper, more cutting as they struck Pheon. He took the cloak she shoved toward him.
âCaella.â
âDid you send this because you pitied meâso much that you couldnât bear not giving me something, even if through a servant?â
âThatâs not it at all.â
âThen why give it to me?â
The strength drained from her questioning voice. Exhausted and weary, Caella asked again.
âWhy?â
Why was he affectionate in such an unaffectionate way? Heâd probably been kind from their very first meetingâthough she couldnât remember it clearly, having been too young.
Heâd waited for her when she tagged along despite seeming annoyed, picked her up when she fell, and afterward always held her hand.
Even after she moved to Lusenford, heâd meticulously replied to every poorly written letter, and whenever they met in the Imperial Palace, he remained her unchanged first love.
But that affectionate warmth, built up over time, had tragically been entirely one-sided. His heart drew a firm lineâexactly here and no further.
The moment Caella took the duchess seat that shouldâve belonged to Beatriceâwhether by her own will or notâPheon treated even their childhood memories as if theyâd never existed.
âAre you just testing how Iâd react?â
It was absurd, outrageous, even laughable. What had his past kindness toward Caella meant, coming from the very man whoâd imprisoned her without the slightest courtesy?
Had he treated her well only because she was Princess Osteinâand the moment that connection snapped, she became nothing? Was he just giving alms out of pity?
What memories had there even been in Lusenford? Her husband, who rarely looked at her, occasionally sent thingsâbut that was just false hope, nothing more.
In the end, sheâd been imprisoned and discarded by Pheon. If theyâd truly shared affectionate childhood memories, how could he have done that? He shouldâve listened to her protestsâeven just once.
âIs this amusing to you?â
She couldnât remember the days when sheâd warmly called him âolder brotherââthat speech was forgotten. Far more familiar was the tone she used now: cold, deliberately excluding the Grand Duke of Lusenford. Her words seemed jumbled together.
âIf my goodwill upset youâŠâ
âSo Iâm only worth sending through someone elseânot worth bringing to in person?â
âCaella.â
There had been countless times when sheâd swallowed her words because she feared his hatred, desperately wanting to appear even slightly better in his eyes.
âYou always send someone to deliver things to meâyou never bring them yourself.â
Had she held it in for so long that now, her true thoughts burst out uncontrollably? Noâshe felt sheâd burst if she didnât say it.
âGiving things through others is what you do to those you donât want to meet. If you couldnât even come yourself despite being at the same event, you shouldnât have sent anything at all.â
How far was it from here to where she stood? Did he really need to send a knight?
Back in Lusenford, sheâd rejoiced over tiny gifts delivered by Sir Renardâonly realizing later that Pheon had used those to go through the motions of being a husband, without ever seeing the face of the duchess he disliked.
Pheon had treated her this way even before their marriage.
âDo you always treat me like this because Iâm so pitiful and laughable?â
Though chills now made her teeth chatter and her head throbbed, Caella fixed her blurred vision firmly on Pheon.
She knew he wasnât literally the husband whoâd killed herâbut the fact that heâd been this unchanging even before their marriage made her inexplicably heartbroken. Her fever and jumbled memories drowned her reason.
âDonât pity me! I donât deserve your pity, Your Grace!â
Out of pityâthough she was properly his wifeâheâd reduced her to a beggar, knocking feebly outside his door for scraps of affection.
Caella forcefully spoke her truth to Pheonâwho remained unchanged from her death until nowâthen immediately turned away. Knights and maids of House Ostein, whoâd been waiting at a distance, hurried after her, barely hiding their shock.
Caella, who had never once stood as an equal to her husband, the noble Princess Ostein, dragged her feverish, aching body forward, each step heavy with exhaustion. Her vision spun dizzyingly from the high fever.
Was she heartbroken because sheâd hoped Pheonâwhoâd saved her fatherâwould finally draw a line against Beatrice, only to see him caring for her again as always? She felt foolish for still not having her wits about her. Her foolishness stung behind her eyes, making them burn and ache.
âMiss.â
âIâm going home.â
The world spun violentlyâshe had no choice but to return home now. She forced her feet to move.
At twenty-one this time, this would be her final break with Pheon. The little brother who once smiled sweetly at her had turned seriousâso he, too, had no further reason to see her. Their relationship had been nothing more than that: a one-sided bond Caella had desperately clung to despite endless regrets.
âItâs not like thatâŠâ
But another voice calling out to her drowned out the knightâs attempt to stop her.
ââŠElla, Your Highness! Princess Ostein!â
It was unmistakably Pheonâs voice, even from afar.
Was he really going to try now? Caella, biting her lip hard, stopped to confront him once more. But before she could even turn toward him, a heavy, warm cloak settled over her chilled shoulders, enveloping her in thick warmth.
âYour Highness.â
His striking eyes and sharp noseâtraits inherited from the famously beautiful Empressâwere twisted in evident distress as he looked down at her.
âIâve committed a grave discourtesy.â
The man whoâd never once looked her way, whether she cried or pressed him for answers, now seemed utterly lost. Hearing his apologyâhis very firstâfor the first time left Caella speechless with shock. Even his tone had changed.
âIâm truly sorry. I never intended to wound your heart, Your Highness.â
His expression of deep remorse was unmistakably sincere. Receiving an apology from Pheon, seeing his attitude shiftâwas it really this easy? She regretted not confronting him sooner.
Back in Lusenford, if she hadnât waited silently but instead demanded answers and shown anger, would he have understood? Noâeven then, as the duchess whoâd stolen Beatriceâs place, heâd likely have dismissed her anger as arrogance.
Yet now, Pheon offered her a formal, respectful apology.
âFearing rumors might spread, I tried to avoid public attentionâbut my thinking was terribly shortsighted. Forgive me.â
Instantly, his honorifics, formality, and tone all rose. He treated her exactly as she always treated him. Moreover, his reason for apologizing was perfectly valid.
After all, why would a man in love with Beatriceâespecially after the Emperor had subtly hinted that Caella and he got along wellâwant to become further entangled with her? She lowered her gaze. Her blurry vision was surely from fever, not heartache.
âIf youâll allow me, Iâd like to escort you home. Please grant me your permission.â
Once again, she confirmed it: to Grand Duke Lusenford, Princess Ostein had always been someone he never wanted entangled with himâuntil the very end.
The bond sheâd clung to so desperately slipped hopelessly, completely, from her fingertips.
*
Her fever burned so fiercely she could barely think. Her face was surely flushed an unbecoming red.
But after daring for the first time in her life to angrily confront Pheon head-on, did it even matter if her face was red or blue?
Caella kept her eyes lowered. Her husband, who always rode outside her carriage, had for the first time boarded the same carriage with her.
Clip-clop, clip-clopâthe horses silently crossed the darkened streets of Klein City. Knights from Houses Lusenford and Ostein escorted the carriage.
Princess Osteinâs breathing was labored. Though wracked with severe chills, not a single strand of her hair was out of place.
Somehow, she still felt trapped in Lusenford, where the cold wind pierced her bones. It was as if she alone were locked in an eternal winter.
âFearing awkward rumors might arise from our association, I chose to deliver it separatelyâand hurt your feelings. Iâm deeply sorry.â
His apology, delivered in flawless military formality, came once more. With that, their childhood bond was utterly erased. Caella gave a small, bitter smile.
âNo one would spread such rumors, Your Highness.â
Her whole body ached as if beatenâso much so that speaking of pain felt effortless.
âEveryone in Crania already knows who Your Grace admires.â
Even after marriage, the Duchess was practically abandonedâPheonâs fervent, almost obsessive devotion to Beatrice was common knowledge. Caella felt another sharp, needle-like pain behind her eyes.
âWho would dare link someone like me to Your Grace in gossip?â
Though sheâd longed for it, it was already decided: this man would never grant her even a glance. Sheâd tried so hardâtoo hardâand now, utterly exhausted.
âNo one would believe such rumors anyway.â
Only after her death had she firmly ended her foolish, one-sided infatuation. She really had been that naive.






