Chapter 21
The increasingly vast and bleak situation made me furious, and I huffed and puffed in irritation as Regent’s footsteps gradually quickened.
Does he really look that happy to see the princess?
I tilted my head once, then kept walking.
Because I had asked Ella in advance that morning to inform Princess Terea’s palace, we were able to enter the princess’s residence without difficulty.
Since Regent was the prince’s knight, no one had any reason to doubt him.
“From now on, when we go inside the room, I’ll stick close to you as much as possible. It’s not because I actually like you or anything, got it? Anyway, use that as an excuse to get close to Her Highness the Princess. So you can meet her even when I’m not around.”
“But that’s…”
At my words, Regent trailed off uncertainly.
“People say opportunities in the imperial palace are worth more than gold. You know that better than I do.”
I repeated exactly what I had heard from the head maid.
My goodwill might disappear quickly.
If the jewel wasn’t here, or if I found another objective, I wouldn’t be able to keep helping them like this.
After all, surviving myself was the top priority.
“From what I can tell, Her Highness the Princess needs you. She looks like a candle in the wind—like she could go out at any moment.”
“…That’s true.”
“Do you love her?”
Regent froze at my question for a moment.
I considered why he was trying to help her.
He had said his “food” was dreams, and even if the princess’s dreams were high-quality nourishment, dreams themselves were easy enough to obtain.
Everyone dreams when they sleep, after all.
Was it really worth taking risks for something like that?
Well. I figured it was probably some long-standing attachment… or some other emotion.
Ah, great. Sprinkle in some morning emotional vibes and suddenly this turns into a romance.
“L-love…?!” Regent’s face flushed bright red in an instant.
Yeah, right.
It was practically written on his face in bold letters.
“What do you want to do?” I asked.
“What do you mean, what do I want to do?”
“At this rate, you’ll just help her once or twice and that’ll be it.”
“But beyond that…”
“Social status barriers?”
From his tone, it sounded like the classic romance trope of “class differences” was about to show up.
“It’s not status. It’s a bigger wall than that.”
“…”
Because he’s a beast-man?
I was momentarily speechless.
Human and animal… was he talking about a species barrier?
It was something I couldn’t really understand.
After all, I had always thought of myself as no different from others.
Regent continued.
“And it’s not the kind of feelings you’re thinking of. It’s just genuine concern.”
“Genuine concern…”
Even if it wasn’t romantic love between man and woman, it was still a feeling somewhere in the spectrum of love.
Something like family affection, friendship—any goodwill that could only exist with emotional attachment.
“I just want to help Her Highness endure… until another solution appears.”
Endure…
A thought crossed my mind.
The princess had endured for over ten years thanks to Regent.
And even if a little more time was added, could someone who had relied on him all this time continue living without him?
Any relationship built on dependence, when abruptly cut off, could destroy someone.
This is why it’s better to live alone.
Relying on others, leaning on them—when they disappear, people break.
I met Regent’s eyes and nodded.
“Let’s try it.”
I hoped this mess I had gotten myself into wouldn’t end in the worst possible way.
“The child seems to be very attached to you.”
The princess, looking paler than usual, smiled brightly at Regent.
I was sticking to him closely as planned, pretending to adore him.
Seeing me like that, Princess Terea couldn’t hide her envy toward Regent.
“How does she like you so much?”
“…I’m not sure.”
“Animals can tell who is kind, they say.”
Even though they had spent over a decade together, he seemed awkward speaking to her in human form.
Watching him, I thought I understood his feelings a bit.
When in animal form, people strangely became less self-conscious.
Just like how I could act shamelessly toward the prince and others.
Ugh. So frustrating. Hurry up and get closer so I can leave and you two can meet without me! Just talk already!
I was so frustrated by Regent’s hesitation that I kicked his side with my foot.
But perhaps because he was a knight, he didn’t even flinch.
“The child stayed with me and allowed me to sleep deeply. But last night, I was again plagued by nightmares.”
“…Nightmares?”
“Yes. Recently, the same dream keeps repeating.”
Oh—now they’re actually talking?
I sat on Regent’s lap and listened closely to their conversation.
The princess lazily waved a cat toy in front of me like a fishing rod as she continued.
“A dead cat keeps appearing in my dreams.”
“….”
Ah. That kind of information might be a bit…
I glanced at Regent’s expression.
I was worried about how he would react to hearing this about himself indirectly.
“And it resents me, turning into a monster.”
“…That’s…”
“I didn’t even get to see it die. Maybe it’s still alive somewhere, resenting me.”
Well, he did say it disappeared one day, so it couldn’t be confirmed dead.
“But the maids say that when animals are about to die, they sometimes leave their owners’ sight and pass away quietly. Maybe if it had fallen asleep by my side, it wouldn’t hurt this much.”
“….”
I wasn’t sure about that either.
Which is more painful—watching your beloved pet die with your own eyes, or being left behind without seeing its final moments?
“Or maybe I would have been even more broken. Some days, I cling to the hope that it might still be alive.”
“I see…”
Regent’s voice came out rough.
He looked like he was about to cry.
“If Zen is gone, my daily life has fallen apart. I didn’t realize it, but that child had such a huge impact on me.”
No one had known that Regent had played such a major role in the princess’s health.
“It must be guilt. If I had known he would leave… I should have done more…”
“You don’t have to cling to it.”
Regent cut her off before she could finish.
Hey, isn’t it kind of dangerous to interrupt a princess like that in the imperial palace?
“Animals do not resent those who loved them. Ever.”
Regent said firmly.
“They would have left hoping their owner wouldn’t suffer.”
“…Yes. That must be true. Zen was a clever child. It felt like he understood my heart like a human would.”
Yes. He is a human, actually.
The princess gave a faint smile.
After speaking her feelings aloud, she seemed a little lighter.
Warm sunlight poured through the window.
“Stay away from that incense.”
Regent said, looking at the scented candle beside the bed.
He seemed to know about sleep incense.
Wasn’t it something she already used regularly?
“That kind of thing is not a solution. Not even a temporary one. In the long run, it disrupts sleep patterns and causes harm.”
“But without it, I can’t calm my episodes. Even now I might be fine, but what if—”
The princess looked utterly exhausted.
Naturally so.
“Even my strength is fading. If I suddenly fall asleep, don’t be startled. Just leave quietly.”
She leaned back in her chair.
Lack of sleep from nightmares meant she kept crashing into sudden bouts of exhaustion.
Even yesterday she had kept drifting in and out of sleep during our conversation.
“But I feel better when I see this child. It comforts me.”
The princess looked at me.
Comfort? I wasn’t even doing anything.
“I see…”
Great. What a depressing atmosphere.
I felt uncomfortable between the two of them.
Both sides were just painfully sad.
While I was internally screaming at how tense everything felt, as expected, Terea closed her eyes.
She fell asleep?
I glanced at Regent.
He was staring blankly at the sleeping princess.
I nudged his side with my elbow.
