Chapter : 06
1. Revenge Requires an Axe
To him, I was like an old house that couldn’t even be sold or increase in value, yet still consumed an absurd amount of taxes.
— From Iona’s diary, September
How had we ended up like this?
Iona stared blankly ahead as the thought echoed in her mind.
“Could you repeat that?”
Her voice was tightly restrained, though anxiety still leaked through the cracks.
She hadn’t intended to make him this uneasy, so Iona found herself slightly flustered.
“No, I just meant maybe it’d be fine if you took another lover—”
Before she could finish, she was abruptly lifted and seated on the desk.
Normally he was endlessly gentle, but the moment she brought up the idea of him taking another lover, he became unbelievably nasty.
Even though that was the original arrangement.
Yet the moment she looked down into the eyes of the man kneeling before her, she started melting all over again.
Honestly, this was all his face’s fault. Or maybe the fault of his chest muscles that looked ready to burst through his shirt.
Or perhaps those taut thighs. Or his Adam’s apple.
To put it simply, Dionhart tilting his head and glancing up at her was exactly her type.
“Do you need another lover?”
His low voice brushed against her ear.
Rather than threatening, he looked more like a wolf desperately afraid of losing its owner, and for a moment Iona almost told him she’d give him anything he wanted.
Ah, no. Don’t get bewitched. The Constellations want a reverse harem genre.
But before she could continue the thought, Dion gently took her hand and pressed it against his cheek. Then he rubbed against it affectionately, as though begging for love, making her heart pound so violently she had to stop breathing for a second.
Y-You dangerously seductive man!
Black hair that seemed to swallow darkness itself. Long, deep-set eyes. A sharp nose and strong jawline carved with elegant precision, almost close enough to grasp in her hand.
It was unfair for someone with looks like the finest collection of demons to behave this way.
Worse, Dionhart knew exactly how to weaponize his appearance from every possible angle.
“Darling.”
For a fleeting moment, their eyes met, and he curved his eyes into a smile.
Then, in a dangerously sweet voice low enough to make her heart drop, he slowly continued.
“Your ex-husband is standing outside the front entrance again.”
“…!”
“Don’t you want to provoke him?”
Dionhart mischievously gestured toward the open window.
Since the weather was warm, she had left it open on purpose to let in the spring breeze. She never imagined it would be used like this.
Her ex-husband was a bastard, but he was capable.
The distance from this bedroom to the front entrance of the Kaelas Grand Duchy was considerable, yet with his abilities, he’d still hear every sound coming through the slightly opened window.
Dionhart slipped a hand beneath her back as if he intended to carry her straight to the window at any moment.
The veins standing out on his hand traced up her spine seductively. Ticklish and trembling, Iona’s hesitation lasted only a moment.
After ending the broadcast, she wrapped her arms around Dionhart’s neck.
“Make sure he hears every single word.”
[▶ Viewer complaints are flooding in!]
[Several Constellations are seriously reconsidering whether this genre is better than a reverse harem.]
Messages filled her vision with protests from the Constellations. Iona ignored them with practiced ease and blinked rapidly three times to sever the connection.
“If your goal was seduction, then congratulations. It worked.”
“If that’s how you want to interpret it.”
Thinking about her ex-husband outside probably drowning in betrayal, she let out a small laugh.
Her relationship with Dionhart had only progressed after the divorce papers were signed, yet her ex-husband still insisted she had cheated on him.
Ridiculous. If that mattered so much, then maybe he should’ve treated me better while we were married. Especially when he was the one actually cheating.
People naïvely thought cheating only meant physical affairs.
Before the divorce, Iona had endured her husband’s emotional affair for years.
Then one sunny day, she made a decision as sudden as lightning.
Fine. Let’s see this through to the bitter end.
Who would win if they grabbed each other by the hair?
There was no way she intended to die quietly and gracefully alone.
Not twice.
And so, Iona truly had no intention of enduring anything anymore.
Iona’s husband was a holy knight.
Ascetic and immaculate in appearance, with dazzling silver hair and violet eyes reminiscent of violets.
Whenever he walked the streets in full uniform beside the other knights, women would clutch their hearts.
A stoic expression, towering height, and broad physique that looked most magnificent in the uniform of the Holy Knights.
A man who willingly showed kindness to the weak and immediately punished wrongdoing wherever he found it.
The Empire’s light and sword.
Felix Teresia.
The only stain on the reputation of a man praised by the entire empire was the fact that his wife was Iona.
A frivolous, extravagant woman obsessed with her beauty.
That was how people described her.
Damn it, this is so unfair.
And that very Iona was currently wandering the streets penniless.
If I’d known I’d get thrown out like this, I should’ve stopped caring and actually spent money lavishly!
He was always saying there was no money, so she had tried desperately to save every last coin.
I shouldn’t have endured it. I should’ve at least gotten angry and shouted that all those rumors were nonsense. Honestly, there wasn’t even any spare money to be extravagant with!
No—actually.
She should’ve exposed the truth that the man everyone worshipped was an unbearable mama’s boy.
A man who ran crying to his mother every time something difficult happened wasn’t a man. He was a child.
And that wasn’t even the worst of it.
She should’ve leaked stories to gossip magazines about how he neglected his wife while obsessively trailing after the Saintess.
Yet because he was still technically her husband, she had covered everything up.
A forced political marriage the moment I turned twenty.
She had thought that maybe life with him would be better than life with her father and family, so she’d tried desperately to become attached to him.
She had nowhere else to go. She tried to think of them as her new family and make things work.
And this was her reward.
“Cough, cough…!”
There was no point getting angry now.
She had already been expelled from the Teresia family.
I refuse to go back to my birth family. I’d rather die.
Panting heavily, Iona wrapped her thin fingers tighter around her hood.
She’d always had a weak constitution, and now that she had caught a feverish cold, her condition was even worse.
Ah… I’m dizzy.
Her husband had thrown her out like garbage, not even allowing her to take a proper coat.
Something about teaching her the value of the family that protected her.
And since she didn’t even possess a single hidden savings coin, she couldn’t afford even the cheapest inn room.
He probably thought that would force her to swallow her pride.
But this time, she didn’t want to bow her head.
“If you wish to return home, apologize for your rude behavior toward the Saintess.”
“Ha! Why should I? I’m the mistress of this house—not that damned Saintess!”
“As insolent as ever. If you ever feel genuine remorse, kneel before the mansion gates. Until you correct your behavior, you are no longer a member of the Teresia family.”
What she had witnessed was the Saintess practically tearing open her husband’s shirt.
Even if it was supposedly a room rarely used, that place was still the marital bedroom of the Teresia estate, and she was Lady Teresia. Didn’t she have every right to question it?
But her husband, looking utterly exhausted by her presence, answered:
“Stop making pointless misunderstandings. The Saintess was merely examining my injuries.”
Examining injuries, my ass!
The Saintess had looked so excited her nostrils were practically flaring!
Throughout the entire argument, the Saintess hid behind Felix’s back.
If she was innocent, why hide?
Why not come out and face her directly?
When Iona pointed that out, Felix looked at her with pure contempt.
“Your mind is disgustingly vulgar. Is filthy imagination all you ever think about?”
At that point, it was beyond infuriating—it was almost awe-inspiring.
If there were a competition for driving people completely insane, her husband would win first place without question.
He’s the one who did wrong, yet he talks about correcting my behavior.
The entire world deserved to know what a pathetic coward he really was.
They should know…
Her vision blurred.
Staggering, Iona suddenly looked up at the cold sensation touching her skin.
Sleet drifted down from the gray sky.
Other people probably considered this weather romantic, hurrying home or enjoying dates together.
But she had nowhere to go.
Neither her birth family nor her in-laws were on her side. She had no friends because she’d spent years drowning in malicious rumors.
What a truly pitiful—
CRASH!
Before she could finish the thought, her body lifted into the air.
A carriage had suddenly barreled toward her, its wheels skidding wildly.
And lacking the strength to dodge, Iona was struck directly and scattered across the sleet-covered road.
Did someone… hire them to kill me?
The coachman’s eyes, glimpsed only for an instant, sent chills down her spine.
Rather than looking shocked, he seemed to want her dead. He calmly backed the horses up and ran over her a second time.
Ah… I should’ve caused more chaos before dying. If I was going to die this pathetically anyway…
That was her final thought as she watched the coachman flee.
Maybe she heard someone mutter, “Oh? This should be entertaining.”
But that was probably just her imagination.
What followed was darkness filled with unbearable resentment.
And then—
[▶ An unidentified contractor has used <Helheim’s Hourglass> on you!]
[All Zodiac Constellations are watching you.]
[Several Constellations savor your desire for revenge.]
[Several Constellations have bestowed upon you the blessing <Amazing Adaptability!>]
Cold air slowly awakened her consciousness.
2. The Saintess’s Statue
“I already explained this clearly. I have become the Saintess’s guardian knight.”
Huh? Why am I here?
“So stop making absurd demands. You’re not a child. It’s exhausting.”
A man with icy eyes appeared in her blurry vision.
Except for looking slightly younger than she remembered, even if she tore out her eyeballs and put them back in, she’d still recognize him.
There couldn’t possibly be two faces like that.
“Felix Teresia… the narcissist who lives obsessed with himself? Did you die too?”
The words slipped out because she was so dumbfounded, and her husband replied coldly.
“What kind of scheme are you trying now?”
“You’re… not dead?”
“If you’re going to pretend to be insane, you should do a better job of it, wife. No one would be fooled by acting that pathetic.”
That irritating tone. That polished appearance.
It was definitely him.
Unable to comprehend the situation, she instinctively stepped backward. Felix looked her up and down with disgust before smoothly climbing onto his horse.
Behind him followed an extravagant carriage intended to escort the “Saintess,” as though flaunting itself deliberately.
It was the finest carriage she had ever seen in her life.
“I… I only wanted to ask if, since it’s my birthday, maybe you’d have dinner with me…”
She had only wanted to ask.
The words came weakly, stumbling out like someone was forcing her to speak them.
And then suddenly, Iona realized she had said these exact words once before.
Ah. I remember now. I remember what day this was.
But that had been five years ago.
While glaring at Felix’s retreating back, she abruptly realized something else and shuddered.
No way. That’s the uniform he wore five years ago!
After the Saintess appeared, many things had changed—one of them being the Holy Knights’ uniforms.
“I originally wanted to major in fashion design, okay? I know clothes really well. Putting ugly clothes on bodies this good should be a crime!”
That was what the Saintess had declared before summoning Felix day and night.
Eventually she even came into the mansion personally to measure him, dressing and undressing him repeatedly.
Iona remembered it clearly because they had fought over it countless times.
As though possessed, she returned to the bedroom and grabbed the cracked full-length mirror.
Golden hair, often compared to honey since childhood, cascaded around her waist. Her cheeks were soft and youthful, and her lips brimmed with life.
She truly was younger.
“Milady, are you alright? I heard you argued again…”
“Tara!”
Spotting the maid who had hurried in with a worried expression, Iona shouted her name.
Freckles. Hair braided into pigtails.
Tara had gentle, wide eyes and was the only maid in the mansion who had ever treated her kindly.
But one day she was suddenly dismissed because she accidentally spilled tea while serving the Saintess.
At the time, Iona had possessed no authority in the household and couldn’t protect her.
She regretted that for a very long time.
If Tara’s here, then this really must be a dream.
Pinching her cheek hurt, so maybe it wasn’t a dream—but for now, Iona decided she’d treat it like one.
“If this is a dream… then I can do whatever I want, right?”
She muttered ominously.
Tara approached with a genuinely worried face and pressed a hand to her forehead.
“Do you have a fever? If you’re sick, I can go get medicine.”
“No, Tara. I’m fine. What year is it right now?”
“Uh… Year 826 of Ignareon.”
Thud.
THUD THUD THUD THUD.
Her heart pounded so hard it felt like it would shatter her ribs.
And vaguely, she realized—
This feeling was joy.
I don’t understand what’s happening, but I’m twenty-three again. Since it’s my birthday, it must be October.
That meant she was in her third year of marriage.
This was the period when she had already lost many things, suffered endless humiliation, and sunk so low in self-esteem that she couldn’t do anything anymore.
“Did the god who never answered my prayers finally help me?”
Before marriage, Iona’s surname had been Abel.
The Abel family was famous for producing High Priests for generations, and her father was one himself.
The problem was that they worshipped a different god from her husband.
The Abel family worshipped the glamorous and prosperous goddess Isis.
The Teresia family worshipped Baldur, god of austerity and abstinence.
The two religions were practically enemies, so there was no way Iona would be treated kindly after marrying into the Teresia family.
But my father never cared about my situation. All he cared about was how much he could squeeze out of the Emperor through this marriage.
And so, even after hearing about her humiliation, the Abel family ignored her.
“Endure it.”
“Husbands are all like that.”
“Men are children no matter how old they get.”
“If you’d acted softer and more charming, would your husband have behaved that way?”
“You should learn to act sly and clever instead of being a stupid bear.”
I’m sick of hearing those words!
And then—
“The Saintess statue you requested has been moved to the garden, where the sunlight is best.”
“Oh my gosh, I love it!”
A bright, cheerful voice pierced through her ears.
Unlike the dim room, outside was dazzlingly vibrant.
Originally the garden had been as gloomy as the mansion itself, but recently it had been renovated at enormous expense.
That’s right. But it wasn’t for my birthday. Back then, I foolishly believed it was.
Her husband had only spent money to place the Saintess’s statue somewhere impressive.
“You stingy bastard.”
Creak.
Grinding her teeth, Iona spotted the pair.
The Saintess, with brown hair and pale green eyes, clung to Felix’s arm under the excuse of being escorted.
Ah. How many years had she endured scenes like that?
The Saintess from another world had appeared at the New Year Festival in January of that year.
Felix had immediately been appointed her guardian knight.
And now it was October.
He had fully become the Saintess’s loyal dog and was even erecting statues of her in their home.
Apparently sculpting the gods themselves was considered blasphemous.
I died in the year 831 of Ignareon…
Five whole years.
She had endured watching them behave like that for five years.
Because she had nowhere to go.
Because she had no money.
Because she lacked the ability to escape her family.
“…Bring me an axe.”
The weather was perfect for a picnic.
Far too peaceful for smashing someone with an axe. Too lovely for screams and bloodshed.
With a serene smile, Iona gave Tara her order.
“A sturdy one. The heavier, the better.”
Tara looked shocked by the sudden request, but thankfully obeyed without complaint.
That was fortunate.
She had returned to a time when the only person who treated her like the lady of the house still stood by her side.
“Milady, I couldn’t find a large axe immediately, so I brought a hand axe instead.”
“Good job. Give it to me.”
Back then, she had never lifted anything heavy in her life.
But by the time she died, she’d had no servants left and was forced to do everything herself.
Cooking, cleaning, laundry—
It’s heavy. But I can endure it through sheer willpower.
As long as she could destroy that damned Saintess statue!
“Wife? Why have you come outside?”
Felix frowned upon seeing her.
The Saintess, as always, widened her eyes innocently while staring at her.
She never even greeted Iona, and the fact that Iona had never called her out on it remained one of her greatest regrets.
Not that I want a greeting now.
Ignoring the two clinging together like parasites, Iona finally exploded with words she had suppressed for years.
“No! Grown! Man! Who still cries for his mommy! Every chance he gets! Is normal!!!”
CRASH!!!
“And no husband who forgets his wife’s birthday is normal either!!!”
CRASH!!!
Gripping the axe, she charged forward and struck the Saintess statue.
Honestly, she had no idea where that monstrous strength came from—
No, she did know.
Pure rage powerful enough to make her vision spin.
She couldn’t endure another second without smashing it.
“Wife, what do you think you’re doing?!”
“Move aside, you pathetic bastard!”
BOOOOM!!!
CRACK!
The Saintess statue was hollow inside to save money.
It wasn’t carved from real stone—just cheap plaster imitation.
Why?
Because they had blown all the money renovating the garden.
Once she focused on striking the same spot repeatedly, cracks finally spread across the statue.
And then—
BZZZT!
[Constellation ‘Help! My Husband Was Cut Into 14 Pieces!’ has donated 10 Diamonds!]
[See? I told you this would be entertaining.]
3. A Proper Rampage
…What was that?
Thinking she might’ve imagined it, Iona rubbed her eyes and looked again, but the words had vanished.
She was certain there had been translucent golden letters decorated with ornate flourishes.
Did smashing that damned statue finally drive me insane from relief?
Because honestly, she had truly wanted to destroy it.
“Have you genuinely lost your mind? What kind of disgraceful behavior is this in front of the Saintess?”
Her palms burned where the axe handle had scraped them raw.
Felix showed no concern whatsoever for her injuries and focused only on wrenching the hand axe away from her.
The rough wood scraped against her tender palms again.
“Are you alright, Saintess?”
“I-I’m fine. But I think the lady’s mental state may be a little unstable…”
Biting her lower lip against the sting, Iona saw Felix turn his back on her to comfort the Saintess.
At that exact moment, she launched herself bodily into the statue.
“—!”
Before Felix could stop her, the statue tilted dangerously and toppled over.
CRASH!
The Saintess statue shattered magnificently, exploding into fragments scattered all across the ridiculous garden.
Her hair had come loose. Sweat dripped down her skin. She was panting heavily.
But emotionally?
She felt fantastic.
“Yes. That’s more like it.”
Muttering coldly, she glared at Felix, who stood speechless.
There was no point asking whether he knew what day it was, or whether emotional affairs counted as cheating too.
They had been married for years. Did he really think she had never attempted conversations before?
Why should I keep wasting my breath on a bastard who never listens anyway?
Conversation was for people.
“Saintess! Are you hurt?”
After glaring at Iona murderously, Felix suppressed his emotions and checked on the Saintess instead.
Exactly as expected.
Snorting mockingly, Iona turned away.
The axe had been taken from her, but her sense of victory remained overwhelming.
And besides—
She still had both hands.
“Milady?”
“M-Milady, what are you— AAH!”
“Kyaaaaa!”
CRASH! SMASH! BANG! BOOOOM!!!
You said if I was going to act crazy, I should do it properly?
Fine.
Then I’ll completely wreck this damned household!
“Is! It! A! Crime! That! I’m! Pretty?!”
Iona screamed while hurling a painting off the hallway wall.
Her married life had been hellish.
No one bearing the Teresia name liked her.
They criticized what she ate, what she wore, how she walked—even how she breathed.
And apparently, even being beautiful was a crime!
Her mother-in-law forbade cosmetics. Forbade buying new dresses. Forbade jewelry. Forbade lipstick.
She was only satisfied if Iona looked plain-faced in old-fashioned dresses.
Raised as her father’s doll, Iona had spent her entire life lavishly adorned.
Frugality had been utterly foreign to her.
Even so, she had tried desperately to adapt.
I endured everything.
The miserly budgeting disguised as “modesty.” The starvation disguised as “ascetic discipline.”
Because I had nowhere else to go.
If she couldn’t be happy with her birth family anyway, she had tried to survive here somehow.
But why? Why did I have to endure it?
If enduring it only led to such a miserable death.
“What… what is the meaning of this?!”
Hair completely disheveled, breathing like a madwoman, Iona slowly turned around with wild eyes.
Surrounded by trembling servants stood the true ruler of the mansion—
Griselda Teresia.
“I thought you had finally learned your place lately, but this is exactly why those lowborn Isis worshippers are unacceptable! If His Majesty the Emperor hadn’t ordered it, my son never would’ve married someone so vulgar!”
“Ha.”
“Just look at what you’ve done! What kind of wickedness is this?”
Furious to the core, Griselda pointed at her.
Taking the chance to catch her breath, Iona casually cleaned her ear with her pinky finger.
“Y-you insolent little—! Bring me a switch immediately. I’ll teach her a lesson myself!”
Not a single strand of silver hair was left loose on Griselda’s head.
She wore a dark dress buttoned all the way to her throat.
Its style looked twenty years out of fashion.
But because she believed absolute frugality was the greatest virtue according to Baldur’s teachings, Griselda genuinely believed herself elegant.
She’s so old-fashioned she doesn’t even realize how society views the Teresia family.
Their problem wasn’t just being unfashionable.
Among the nobility, people secretly mocked the Teresias for lacking class.
Called them cheapskates, too.
And naturally, I was the one forced to bear those humiliations.
No one dared speak badly in front of Griselda herself.
Seriously though, wasn’t it unfair? They called me extravagant and wasteful, but also mocked the Teresias for being stingy? Which was it?
Well, truth didn’t matter.
People only cared about finding excuses to insult someone.
Meanwhile, Griselda was mentally tearing into Iona.
Such reckless extravagance!
To her, everything about Iona looked excessive.
She’s vulgar to the core.
Just look at that blonde hair.
Even the color itself lacked modesty.
Although Griselda had drastically reduced Iona’s allowance in the name of “teaching frugality,” she assumed the girl wasted all her money on expensive oils because her hair still gleamed beautifully every time.
And what expensive creams was she using on her skin?
Even though cosmetics had been forbidden.
“Lady Teresia.”
“…What?”
Hearing that title, Griselda doubted her own ears.
Not “Mother.” Not “Madam.”
But Lady Teresia.
A title that implied Griselda was no longer the true mistress of the house.
Naturally, she hated it.
“And exactly who are you claiming you’ll discipline with a switch?”
Moreover—
Why was this girl acting so confident?
Until yesterday, Iona would lower her eyes whenever their gazes met. Griselda had treated her like furniture.
But now?
Iona stood straight-backed with her chin raised high.
Her eyes practically blazing.
“As far as I know, I’m the mistress of this estate. Or perhaps you married my husband instead?”
“What nonsense are you spouting?!”
“Oh, I just assumed you and my husband must be having a passionate affair, considering how boldly you try to control me. I thought maybe I was the concubine intruding between you two.”
“Disgusting child! My son—my son would never do such a thing!”
Griselda recoiled in horror.
The maids stood frozen between the explosive clash of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Should they bring the switch?
Shouldn’t they?
The hesitation from servants who normally obeyed instantly made Griselda panic internally.
And Iona smirked because she had expected this too.
Like master, like servants. Cowards who only know how to judge people by status and sneak around cautiously.
There was a reason she was making such a massive scene.
If she wanted to overturn this family, she couldn’t do it halfway.
She had to go all the way.
Because no one willingly provoked a truly rabid animal.
And besides—
This was a dream, wasn’t it?
Yes. Definitely a dream. Whatever this is, it’s a dream.
That was the conclusion she chose.
“Bring me the switch this instant! She’s truly gone insane!”
“Go ahead. Bring it. I’ll show you a hell beyond imagination. I can make people like you beg me to kill them.”
While Griselda shouted furiously, Iona spoke calmly and smiled sweetly.
“You called me a villainess, didn’t you? A frivolous and wicked servant of Isis. You repeated it so often that now I’m considering becoming exactly that.”
The maids hesitated awkwardly, exchanging glances and silently trying to push the task onto someone else.
The young madam has completely snapped.
Well… can you blame her?
You know the rumors about her before marriage, right? The noble girl who competed with her in society disappeared and was later found dead downstream. They say the young madam ordered it.
That’s terrifying. What if she does the same to us?
Yes, punishment from the elder madam was frightening too.
But at worst, that meant missing dinner, writing apology letters, and praying in confinement.
But who knows what the young madam might do?
Having calculated things that way, the maids refused to move.
Griselda exploded with rage.
Arms crossed and leaning lazily, Iona stood crookedly.
A posture Griselda absolutely despised.
“Mother, these days you should be watching your daughter-in-law’s mood.”
“…!”
“You really should’ve known when to stop.”
4. If You Touch Me Again
SLAP!
The moment she heard those words, Griselda strode forward and struck Iona across the face.
“Oh Baldur, forgive me. A demon has entered this house.”
Iona’s head snapped sideways from the impact, and she let out a soft breathy laugh.
“If I’m a demon, then my husband must be a man who sleeps with demons.”
“How dare you—!”
Griselda trembled violently in shock.
Iona glanced around before pushing through the crowd and grabbing a ceramic flower vase overflowing with blossoms.
“You! Put that down immediately. If you know what’s good for you! Do you want to be thrown out of this house?”
“I’ve already been thrown out once, so…”
CRASH!
Muttering indifferently, she deliberately let the vase fall.
“No… noooo!”
The moment Griselda saw the shattered vase, she nearly collapsed backward.
While panicked maids rushed to support the pale-faced elder madam, Iona spoke clearly.
“From now on, if you ever lay a hand on me again, I’ll destroy your treasured belongings one by one right in front of you.”
The vase now reduced to useless fragments had been one of Griselda’s most cherished possessions.
Apparently it had been one of the few gifts left behind by her late husband.
Pathetic, honestly.
Not that Iona cared.
Ah, that feels refreshing.
Her cheek still stung, and her palms hurt, but emotionally she felt lighter than ever.
“I’m going back to my room to sleep, so don’t wake me. And I’m not attending evening prayer either.”
Throwing the words over her shoulder, Iona turned away.
I should’ve acted like this sooner.
A thrilling sensation spread all the way to her toes.
She already felt as though she knew exactly how she would use this second life.
But when she opened her eyes again, her mood instantly soured.
“Aren’t you going to apologize?”
Her husband—who had visited her bedroom fewer than five times throughout their entire marriage—stood before her.
Moonlight draped over Felix Teresia as he sat rigidly in a chair, his beautiful face cold and severe.
Half of him remained buried in shadow, making him appear less holy than usual.
“I looked into it, and apparently it truly was your birthday. Consider this a gift. If you apologize for today’s behavior, I’ll let it go. But do not repeat such actions again.”
At that moment—
Her vision shook violently, and the “messages” appeared once more.
[Constellation ‘Dead Serious About Punishing Cheating Bastards’ is greatly enraged.]
[Constellation ‘#1 Revenge Service Provider’ anticipates you doing something impressive.]
[Constellation ‘Help! My Husband Was Cut Into 14 Pieces!’ eagerly awaits something spicy.]
[Many Constellations rattle Diamonds eagerly in their hands.]
[▶ Current Donation Amount: 10 Diamonds]
[Preview Channel Likes: 6]
[Preview Channel Entrances: 5]
Five people entered, but there were six likes?
The numbers didn’t add up.
While thinking such absurd thoughts, Iona grabbed her head.
A migraine was slowly forming from the stress.
Or maybe just from looking at that bastard’s face.
Either way, she blamed everything on her husband before calmly pointing something out.
“I literally just woke up, and you barged into my room and sat there watching me. Are you some kind of pervert?”
“…What kind of language is that?”
“Language? You certainly speak elegantly to your wife.”
“…”
“You watched me sleep the entire time? Creepy. Apologize for that first. Even husbands aren’t legally allowed to enter a noblewoman’s private bedroom without permission, are they?”
None of what she said was incorrect.
Rigid and rule-bound Felix couldn’t refute her.
“I should’ve thrown cold water on your face to wake you.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
Yawning casually, Iona shoved the strange messages to the back of her mind for the moment.
Judging from the sky, it’s probably evening now. They’re not going to feed me, are they?
Should she just starve?
She hated that idea.
“I apologize… for failing to observe proper etiquette.”
Diamonds.
If those really were actual diamonds…
I could sell them.
Who exactly was sending these messages? She had no idea.
But was that important?
They seem to be on my side, at least.
Her thoughts finally began settling.
Barely listening to Felix’s forced apology and demand for an apology in return, she focused on reading the messages instead.
She had died and awakened younger.
Compared to that, was seeing mysterious floating text really so strange?
I always wanted even one person on my side. Maybe I’m hallucinating because of that. Maybe this is all just fantasy.
Her mind was chaotic, so she chose to think that way.
Right now, she didn’t want to think deeply about anything.
“Wife. You truly seem incapable of understanding the situation. I’m exercising great restraint.”
“You’re the one who doesn’t understand the situation. During our entire marriage, there was never a single moment when I wasn’t angry.”
“—!”
Well, what did he expect?
If Felix had treated her kindly even out of obligation, perhaps she wouldn’t be acting this arrogantly.
Or if he had defended her even once when she suffered unfair treatment.
Just once.
But the supposedly fair and righteous Felix Teresia had only ever been merciless toward her.
“If you want an apology from me, then return the painting your sister stole.”
Not “please return it.”
“Return it.”
That tone struck Felix as deeply rude.
Yet he failed to criticize it immediately because something about her felt profoundly unfamiliar.
Who… is this woman?
Even in darkness, her hair stood out vividly like honey mixed with cream.
Her long hair cascading freely around her waist was something he had always found distasteful.
Though lately he had grown used to it thanks to the Saintess… according to his mother, proper noblewomen were supposed to keep their hair neatly pinned up.
Following that household tradition, Iona had worn her hair properly arranged ever since their first year of marriage.
At least during the daytime when he saw her.
Seeing her like this feels strange.
Perhaps that was why she felt so different.
He had simply come at the wrong time.
His mother had collapsed from shock, so he had rushed over at dawn hoping to mediate quickly, but perhaps visiting at such an hour had been a mistake.
Yet Felix couldn’t leave.
Those blue eyes glaring at him burned fiercely.
Not like a lake or ocean.
Like blue flames.
The vitality swirling in her irises seized the breath of anyone who looked at them.
Why is she acting so confident?
Frowning, he suddenly realized Iona was holding her head high.
And the reason he had never truly looked into her eyes before was because she had always lowered them.
“I won’t apologize until I get my paintings back.”
“Haven’t we already discussed this matter?”
“I never agreed. Correct the records and publicly announce that the paintings attributed to Blanche Teresia are actually mine.”
Truly fitting for a woman raised in an Isis-worshipping family.
Digging up resolved matters and tearing them open again.
Growing increasingly exhausted, Felix brushed back his hair and sighed.
“Will you truly only be satisfied if you go this far? Show some compassion. If we correct it now, what will people think of Blanche? It won’t benefit your reputation either.”
“Compassion my ass. Stop pretending you care about my reputation. You’re just annoyed because it’s troublesome. I’m demanding my rightful property.”
“You truly never know when to stop arguing.”
Those blue eyes stared directly into him.
For some reason, he felt pressured beneath that gaze and loosened the buttons around his neck.
His chest felt strangely tight.
Was it because of the way she screamed while destroying the Saintess statue?
Or because he genuinely hadn’t known it was her birthday?
Even Felix felt a little guilty about forgetting his wife’s birthday.
Not guilty enough to overlook all her insolence, of course.
“There’s no point continuing this discussion. Since the mansion must be repaired after the damage you caused, you are forbidden from leaving your room for three days starting today. This is an order from the head of the family. Reflect carefully, and when your mind becomes clear and proper again, we’ll continue this conversation.”
“No. Sit down and shut up, Felix Teresia.”
5. The Channel
Ah.
She had always wanted to say that at least once.
Without realizing it, Iona had abandoned all formal speech and addressed Felix raw and openly.
Since entering this family, I’ve lost count of everything stolen from me. But this… this was one of the worst things.
Looking at Felix’s shameless face made her anger surge violently.
Countess Griselda Teresia had two children.
Her eldest son, Felix.
And her youngest daughter, Blanche.
Last autumn, Blanche Teresia had debuted in high society using paintings Iona had spent years creating, presenting them as her own.
Back then, no matter how hard I tried to reclaim them, it was useless.
Of course it was.
She had tried reasoning logically with people who were fundamentally insane.
“If you don’t publicly correct this within a week, prepare yourself. At the year-end Imperial Banquet, I’ll stand Blanche beside me and paint right there. Then everyone will know whose paintings they truly are.”
“What is wrong with your manner of speech? I came here hoping to resolve this peacefully, and you’re making a fool of me.”
“So what?”
She would reclaim everything.
No matter how small.
Everything stolen from her.
She would never again struggle for the approval of the Teresia family.
Forget resolving things peacefully. Forget enduring quietly. Forget trying to communicate.
The moment she decided that, messages appeared again.
As expected, they seemed bizarrely fond of her.
[Constellation ‘Help! My Husband Was Cut Into 14 Pieces!’ is pleased by your hostility.]
[Constellation ‘Help! My Husband Was Cut Into 14 Pieces!’ has donated 10 Diamonds!]
She didn’t know what kind of being this was, but one thing was clear.
They were watching everything she did.
And they loved it.
[Constellation ‘Dead Serious About Punishing Cheating Bastards’ nominates “Sit down and shut up, Felix!” as the channel’s catchphrase.]
[Constellation ‘Help! My Husband Was Cut Into 14 Pieces!’ strongly agrees.]
[Constellation ‘#1 Revenge Service Provider’ nods solemnly.]
[Constellation ‘Cat-Ear Enthusiast’ agrees.]
[Constellation ‘Master of Lies’ finds this fascinating and agrees.]
[▶ The vote has been unanimous. The catchphrase has been officially selected.]
[Achievement Unlocked: First Catchphrase Registration!]
[You have been awarded a one-time copyright fee!]
[Copyright Fee: 100 Diamonds]
Clink clink clink!
She heard what sounded like gemstones or coins pouring somewhere in the distance.
Then another message appeared before her eyes.
[▶ Current Donation Amount: 120 Diamonds]
She had no idea what Diamonds were used for, but it was probably something good.
Honestly, these messages were helpful for more than just emotional support.
They blocked Felix Teresia’s infuriating face from her view.
Speechless for a long moment, Felix eventually left the room without another word.
As expected.
Who would ever guess?
That the mighty Felix Teresia was actually an avoidant coward.
Whenever topics he disliked surfaced, he immediately fled while pretending to be angry.
“Milady, I brought you something to eat.”
“Thank you, Tara.”
In the deep night, Tara had waited in the hallway until Felix left before secretly bringing her apples and rye bread.
While eating, Iona thought intensely about one thing.
Who she should destroy first.
“Done.”
Starting the next day, Holy Knights were stationed outside her private bedroom.
Following Felix’s strict orders, they were there to ensure she couldn’t leave.
Naturally, Tara was no longer allowed inside either.
At least they still fed her.
Though the meal consisted only of thin oatmeal porridge with nothing to chew.
Even so, Iona’s spirit remained unbroken.
“First. Reclaim the rights to my paintings from Blanche Teresia.”
Second. Reclaim authority over the household from Griselda Teresia.
Third. Expose Felix Teresia’s behavior and divorce him.
Fourth. Ruin the Saintess.
Fifth. Discover who ordered my murder.
Sixth. Escape somewhere even my birth family can’t touch.
She pulled out a notebook and calmly organized everything she needed to do.
This second life was a miracle.
She wanted to use it meaningfully.
For now, reclaiming the rights to my paintings alone would be enough. If I sell them to galleries, I could earn enough money to live independently.
At least she wouldn’t die because she couldn’t afford an inn room.
And this wasn’t some absurd fantasy.
Iona had first picked up a paintbrush at the age of eight.
She wasn’t a genius capable of overturning the art world, but people had often acknowledged her talent—especially with landscapes.
Her family had forbidden her from becoming a painter professionally, so she had never officially debuted. Still, she had secretly sold a few pieces to galleries frequented by commoners to earn pocket money.
And after marriage, Blanche Teresia stole every single painting I created.
Now all of Iona’s paintings were displayed in famous galleries under Blanche’s name.
Naturally, she had protested.
But both Griselda and Felix treated her like she was overreacting.
“She isn’t selling them for profit. They’re merely on display.”
“Yes, dear. It’s Blanche’s first step into society. As long as we know they’re yours, isn’t that enough? Surely you wouldn’t ruin your sister-in-law’s debut over this?”
That was how they soothed her.
Until she stubbornly insisted on ownership.
Then their attitudes changed instantly.
“What’s so special about those paintings anyway? Are a few paintings truly more important than the family’s reputation? I’m disappointed.”
“She’s right. You’re not even some famous artist, are you? You merely painted them as a hobby while living comfortably in this house!”
“Mother is correct. If you think about it, the Teresia family paid for the canvases, frames, paints, and brushes. Wouldn’t that make them family property?”
Even if they weren’t masterpieces…
Even if they weren’t extraordinary…
They were precious to Iona.
There were paintings she had intended to cherish until death.
Painting was the only time I felt free. The only time I ever experienced liberation.
To her, “paintings” were never merely paintings.
And even if I wanted help, I had no one to ask.
From the moment she debuted in society, malicious rumors had followed her until they became accepted as truth.
She knew exactly who spread them.
My father. Or perhaps my brother.
Both were insane enough to refuse letting her escape their control.
Afraid she might make friends and become “corrupted,” they had likely sabotaged her relationships in advance.
No. Enough. From now on, I’ll live for myself.
But how could she get divorced?
This marriage had been arranged by the Emperor himself for political reasons.
To separate from Felix, she would absolutely need imperial permission.
And then—
Ding!
[▶ Congratulations! The Constellations pleased with your have selected you as a ‘Level 1 Contractor Candidate’!]
A much more elaborate message appeared before her eyes.
[The channel is now monetized!]
[Constellations who watched the preview have begun official subscriptions.]
[Official Channel Likes: 6]
[Official Channel Subscribers: 5]
Again, the numbers differed by one.
The inconsistency bothered her briefly before another showering sound distracted her.
[Current Subscription Fee: 100 Diamonds]
[500 Diamonds have been 지급되었습니다.]
[▶ Current Donation Amount: 620 Diamonds]
…Seriously, someone needed to explain what all this meant already.
At this point she understood that someone was watching her.
And they probably weren’t human.
The last thing she’d seen before dying—
At first she thought she imagined it, but looking back, it had definitely happened.
Come to think of it, they said they gave me the blessing “Amazing Adaptability.” Maybe that’s why I’m not panicking.
Because she had been consumed by revenge, she hadn’t noticed how bizarre this all was.
But now that she thought calmly, it was strange.
Normally she would’ve been terrified.
Instead, she was accepting it naturally.
[▶ The Constellations currently present are arguing over which ‘genre’ best suits you.]
[Your main genre is currently .]
[The subgenre <Out with the Trash, In with the Better Man> has also been selected!]
Staring at the endless messages, Iona finally asked the most important question of all.
“Who are all of you?”
[Constellation ‘Dead Serious About Punishing Cheating Bastards’ says you have not yet earned the qualifications.]
“Qualifications?”
The moment she muttered the word, brilliant golden text flooded her vision.
Wrapped in radiant light, the message felt overwhelmingly divine.
[The officially subscribed Constellations are assigning you a Trial!]
6. The First Trial
[First Trial]
[Earn the qualifications of a Contractor:]
[Reclaim one of the rights that were stolen from you.]
[Reward List:]
- Contractor of the Constellations
- Zodiac Shop Feature Unlocked
- Celebration Reward: 1,000 Diamonds]
Mesmerized, Iona read through the message until her gaze stopped at one phrase.
Zodiac Shop.
“Don’t tell me… that’s where I can spend Diamonds?”
A golden message appeared before her immediately.
[Constellation ‘Master of Lies’ praises you for being clever.]
“…Coming from someone called ‘Master of Lies,’ that’s not very convincing.”
[Constellation ‘Master of Lies’ pounds their chest indignantly, insisting they were completely truthful just now.]
“I’ve never even seen this so-called Zodiac Shop. I don’t even know what’s supposed to be so great about it.”
So communication really was two-way.
Suppressing her surprise, Iona deliberately provoked them.
“Besides, I don’t even know who you are. Why should I trust you?”
[Constellation ‘Dead Serious About Punishing Cheating Bastards’ gently says that they are already your passionate supporters.]
[Constellation ‘Help! My Husband Was Cut Into 14 Pieces!’ frantically searches for something.]
[Constellation ‘Master of Lies’ dramatically lists the advantages of the Zodiac Shop.]
[Constellation ‘Cat-Ear Enthusiast’ advises that the shop can provide what you need.]
[Constellation ‘#1 Revenge Service Provider’ rummages through their pocket and pulls out Diamonds.]
Dead Serious About Punishing Cheating Bastards.
Help! My Husband Was Cut Into 14 Pieces!
Master of Lies.
Cat-Ear Enthusiast.
#1 Revenge Service Provider.
She was starting to distinguish their personalities now.
Obviously those weren’t real names. They were probably titles reflecting who they were best.
But regardless of what they were—
What exactly did they want from her?
Even her husband, who should’ve been her closest ally, had constantly measured her worth.
So why would these beings help her for free?
Iona was no naïve fifteen-year-old girl anymore.
Life had taught her too much bitterness for that.
“Everything comes with a price. I’d like to know what yours is.”
[Constellation ‘Help! My Husband Was Cut Into 14 Pieces!’ takes out a booklet titled “Beginner Contractor Tips!” and—oops!—accidentally drops it.]
Thunk.
Light flashed in the air, and something fell at her feet.
Looking down carefully, she realized it was the exact booklet title she had seen in the message.
She cautiously picked it up and opened the cover.
But the pages were blank.
The next page too.
And the next.
“Hmm. It’s empty.”
The moment she said that, a silver message appeared.
[▶ SSS-Grade Artifact: Booklet Personally Written by a Constellation]
[Unlock Cost: 100 Diamonds per page]
[Place your hand on the page you wish to unlock and request access.]
So she could unlock several pages with the Diamonds she possessed.
Half-skeptical, Iona placed her hand on the first page and spoke.
“I want to see what’s written here.”
Whoooosh.
A warm breeze wrapped around the booklet.
Then moments later—
Words began appearing across what had been blank paper.
“A Constellation refers to a higher-dimensional being.
They exist above even dragons and other superior entities.
To elaborate further in case you’re curious: humans are lower-dimensional beings.”
That was the first paragraph.
“A Contractor refers to a lower-dimensional being personally selected by a Constellation.
Constellations pay special attention to and carefully nurture their Contractors. To put it simply, it is similar to a human encountering a stray cat in their neighborhood and deciding to feed it.
If a frequently visited cat is adorable, wouldn’t you want to brag about it to your friends?
In that sense, Constellations enjoy the lives of their Contractors and fill their long, tedious immortality with meaning.”
Depending on interpretation, that could’ve been insulting.
She was essentially being treated like a pet.
But Iona thought differently.
If Constellations are basically gods, then receiving a god’s affection can’t possibly be a bad thing. It’s fortunate, if anything.
Besides, she truly had no one.
No one to share her heart with. No one she could rely on.
So how could she dislike beings who unconditionally took her side?
“So basically, I’ve been lucky. I don’t really need to do much, either. A cat’s greatest virtue is being warm and well-fed, after all.”
[Constellation ‘Master of Lies’ admires your shamelessness.]
[Constellation ‘Cat-Ear Enthusiast’ happily remarks that cats are especially charming when they have plump bellies.]
[Constellation ‘Help! My Husband Was Cut Into 14 Pieces!’ honestly says they want to watch your life.]
“My life… isn’t particularly special. Though I suppose that’s also a cat’s virtue.”
[Constellation ‘#1 Revenge Service Provider’ speaks solemnly.]
[We wish to witness lives that overcome hardship and adversity. Lives where sinners receive punishment in the end. Or lives where the wronged succeed in revenge. Show us that.]
Which was exactly what she intended to do.
Surrounded entirely by enemies, standing alone without even a knife in hand.
Iona read the final lines written in the booklet.
“Diamonds are the currency of the Constellations.
Contractors may receive Diamond sponsorships and exchange them in the Zodiac Shop for various items and artifacts, or purchase random boxes.
Direct conversion into cash is impossible, but because the Zodiac Shop contains countless currencies, gold coins, and even real gold bars, Contractors may freely exchange them into money.”
“So it’s basically like a toy store… for pampered pets?”
[Constellation ‘Cat-Ear Enthusiast’ slaps their knee in admiration at your understanding.]
She wanted to read the next page too, but Diamonds felt too precious.
She only had 520 left now.
If these really could become money, then saving them was wiser.
“How do I receive more Diamond sponsorships? Do you give allowances if I show you entertaining scenes?”
[Constellation ‘Master of Lies’ grins.]
[Exactly. We don’t possess infinite Diamonds either. If something’s entertaining, we sponsor it. If it becomes boring, we simply leave to find another cat.]
So they hadn’t “adopted” her.
It was a line drawn clearly between them, but strangely, it didn’t hurt.
This kind of transactional relationship was cleaner.
“You called this a channel, right? If what I show you becomes boring, does the connection disappear?”
[Constellation ‘Master of Lies’ shrugs.]
[We already assigned you a genre, didn’t we? As long as you fit it, we won’t leave. That’s why we’re watching you.]
Genre.
A label attached to stories—novels, plays, human lives themselves.
For a moment, Iona silently tried to process everything.
Then she lifted her eyes and stared directly into empty space.
More confidently than before.
“Then sponsor me more generously. I’ll show you a story people will still speak about a thousand years from now. In other words—bet on me.”
[Constellation ‘Help! My Husband Was Cut Into 14 Pieces!’ is pleased by your spirit.]
[Constellation ‘#1 Revenge Service Provider’ declares that revenge is all about momentum.]
[Constellation ‘Dead Serious About Punishing Cheating Bastards’ advises you to grow your channel.]
“How do I grow the channel?”
If the knights standing outside saw this scene, they would absolutely think she had gone mad.
She was talking to empty air.
But Iona desperately needed help.
And if she had learned anything from her previous life, it was this:
She absolutely needed allies.
Whether they were human or not.
[Constellation ‘Help! My Husband Was Cut Into 14 Pieces!’ says you simply need to become famous.]
[You’re already popular among the Constellations anyway. Everyone’s interested in you. They’re debating whether to subscribe to your channel.]
“Because I regressed?”
[Constellation ‘Master of Lies’ cuts in.]
[Yep. Honestly, I came because I was curious too. Which lunatic spent 10 billion just to bring you back to life?]
