IHWL 05

chapter 05

At last, the long-awaited day.

I had been practicing whenever I had time just for today.

“Look at me!”

I was lying face down in the crib, my chest and belly pressed against it.

Now… it was time to show it.

“Put strength into my arms!”

My upper body slowly lifted.

My mother and Ruruka’s eyes widened.

“M-Ma’am! Th-the Princess is…!”

“It looks like… she’s doing a push-up.”

I lifted my upper body using only my arms.

And I didn’t stop there.

While holding that position, I raised my left arm.

I supported my entire 6 kg body with just my right arm.

“Wow… I couldn’t even do this at twenty, but I’m doing it at two?”

Well… princes at age ten could split rocks with swords.

Compared to that, maybe this wasn’t so amazing.

Then—

Thud!

I collapsed.

Ouch!

I landed on my nose, and it hurt—but I didn’t scream. That was my last bit of pride.

“Ma’am! I think the Princess just did a one-arm push-up!”

Honestly, it wasn’t really a push-up—more like holding myself up.

But to my nanny, it must have looked much more impressive.

“No matter that she carries Bilottian blood, how is this possible? The Princess must truly be a genius.”

Ruruka sounded completely sincere.

“It was like performance art from a great artist. She must take after you, Your Majesty, since she also has such artistic sensibilities.”

P-performance art?

What kind of praise was that?

“…Actually, I like it.”

Strangely enough, I felt really happy hearing it.

“It’s because I’m in a baby’s body.”

A baby’s body was extremely vulnerable to praise from their mother or nanny.

And honestly—I did feel good.

But there was one embarrassing problem.

“I wish my butt would just stay still.”

Wiggle, wiggle.

My hips started moving again.

Whenever I felt proud or happy, this body would start dancing on its own.

Even if I wanted to hide it, my butt gave me away.

“Well… I am still a baby.”

I decided not to worry about it.

It was just a little humiliation.

“Might as well get more praise.”

I wanted to hear the kind of praise from a mother I had never received in my previous life.

“Alright.”

Confidence swelled inside me.

My inner attention-seeker exploded.

“One more time!”

My mother and nanny focused entirely on me.

As always, that attention was thrilling.

“This time… this arm!”

This time, I supported myself with my left arm.

Then—thud!—I fell again.

My mother and nanny clapped and laughed happily.

I loved their expressions.

Their smiles made me happy too.

Then—

The door opened.

“Serna. What is making you so happy?”

The air in the room froze instantly.

That sharp voice—

“Dad?”

It was the first time I’d heard his voice in a while since the Selection Ceremony.

My father’s voice was cold.

Like a biting northern wind.

A voice that could freeze everything around it.

My mother replied,

“Your Majesty, you should knock first.”

My father silently stepped outside as told.

Then—

Knock, knock.

My mother asked warmly,

“Could it be my beloved Emperor?”

“…This time, I knocked.”

My mother handed me to the nanny and opened the door herself.

“Thank you. I love you.”

My father’s face was stiff.

But I knew—that was embarrassment.

He had never loved his children, but he loved my mother deeply.

I didn’t fully understand how those feelings were separated—but that was how he was written.

My mother continued,

“Your Majesty, your voice sounded quite harsh. What’s wrong?”

“Empress, that’s not—”

Ruruka placed me in the crib and tactfully excused herself to bring tea.

“When you speak like that, it hurts me deeply.”

Though he was the strongest swordsman in the world, my father was always at a loss around my mother.

He rarely made mistakes with her—but when I was born, he did.

He had called me useless right after she went through so much to give birth.

Though it wasn’t written in detail, he probably spent the entire night comforting her.

“Well… a girl in the Bilottian family is considered a curse.”

After all her suffering, she had given birth to someone like me.

It made sense he wouldn’t like me.

…Though now that I thought about it, those words were pretty hurtful.

“Still, I’ll think generously.”

Even my mother had apologized for giving birth to me.

So the situation was understandable.

Anyway, my father seemed flustered.

He looked expressionless, but his Adam’s apple moved noticeably.

“…I’m sorry.”

“Then please tell me why you spoke so harshly. If I did something wrong, I’ll fix it.”

It sounded like my mother was being submissive—

but the one sweating was clearly my father.

Suck, suck.

I sucked on my pacifier.

Warm sunlight, gentle breeze—

perfect weather for pacifier-sucking.

“If I had to guess… he came looking for Mom because he missed her… then heard laughter and got jealous?”

I watched them, satisfied.

“Ah… what a good time.”

My father was one of the strongest in the world.

His only weakness was my mother.

Even his eventual defeat would be because of her.

“In the original story… Mom gets worn down because of me and dies early…”

After her death—

my father stopped eating.

“The world without the Empress feels empty.”

He had lived his whole life for the empire—

and yet he wept.

“He lived day by day as if he had lost tomorrow.”

Eventually, he weakened and lost to the male lead.

Thinking about how cold he seemed—but was actually deeply devoted—made my heart feel soft.

“Let me look at Dad’s face again.”

But lying down, I couldn’t see him.

No choice.

I pushed myself up.

“Why is this diaper so heavy today?”

My father’s gaze fell on me.

I stared back intensely.

“Appa-mamma.”

I pointed at him.

Struggling, I stood up.

My legs trembled.

“Appa-mamma!”

“What is the child doing?”

“She’s calling you.”

Barely standing, I looked up at him.

His black eyes—like obsidian—stared back.

I felt like I would be pulled in.

And instinctively, I said:

“I love you.”

I didn’t know why I said it.

I just… did.

Step. Step.

My father approached me.

His face looked slightly angry.

“Say that again.”

My voice grew small.

“I… love you…”

Silence.

I felt scared.

Maybe I said something wrong.

We were father and daughter—but not emotionally close.

“Did I go too far?”

I asked cautiously,

“Appa… are you mad?”

Anyone would think he looked angry.

My mother stepped in,

“He’s not angry.”

Her words calmed me.

“They’re just shy.”

“Empress.”

“You can be honest in front of your daughter. You don’t have to be cold even with your family.”

“The people may want a ruthless emperor, but a family wants a kind husband and father. And I love that side of you.”

She smiled and said to me,

“Isabel, what do you always say to Mommy?”

“I love you?”

“Not that.”

“Pick me up?”

“Yes. Now try saying that to Daddy.”

My father stepped back slightly, as if facing something frightening.

I looked between them.

My mother nodded encouragingly.

I gathered courage and reached out.

“Appa…”

Once I started, I couldn’t stop.

“Can you… pick me up?”

My father looked startled.

“Would you like that?”

“Yes!”

“Why?”

“Well…”

I hesitated—then decided.

A baby’s self-control was too weak to suppress instinct.

And I only had 21 years anyway.

So I followed my heart.

“Because I love you.”

“I want you to hold me.”

My father said,

“You are troublesome. Do you think such clinginess suits a princess of Bilottian?”

I stood there, arms still open.

And then—

I realized.

“Ah… I’m going to fall again.”

But my premium diaper would protect me—

Wait?

I didn’t fall.

My body lifted.

“Ah! I’m being held!”

Just before I fell—

my father caught me.

This time, not carelessly.

“I’m being held!”

He really held me.

I could feel his warmth.

It felt like being protected under a family’s shelter.

His gaze met mine.

In my previous life—

I didn’t even know my father’s face.

That man in Korea abandoned me without ever seeing me.

But now—

everything felt like a gift.

“Dad… you’re a gift.”

Tears welled up in my eyes.

But what happened next—

was even stranger.