IPSC 23

Chapter 23

At the highly misleading remark, Theodor’s face flushed red.

Only then did I realize what kind of misunderstanding it could cause, and I hurriedly tried to explain.

“N-No, I mean—what I meant was, it’d be nice if the two of you swapped personalities! The duke’s personality is pretty awful, you know? I was just thinking how great it’d be if he had your personality with the duke’s face instead…!”

Theodor frowned deeply.

“So you’re saying my face is worse than Duke Winston’s?”

That’s the part you’re offended by?

Just how confident is he in his looks?

With an indignant huff, Theodor continued,

“I’m popular, you know. Despite how I look.”

I stared straight at his face.

His sharp, well-balanced features were striking, with a high, straight nose and a clean, angular jawline that gave him a distinctly masculine look. It was a face that suited a bright, cheerful smile perfectly.

His red hair, reminiscent of the setting sun, fell in an artfully messy way, adding to his free-spirited charm.

I’ll admit it—he is handsome.

It’s hard to say whether he or Jerome is better.

But what does it matter?

He’s a pie in the sky.

No—more like a pie that’d burst into flames the moment you tried to grab it.

“Sorry, but you’re not my type.”

“……”

At my answer, Theodor pressed his lips tightly together.

Don’t look so betrayed. I know you’re handsome—but this is all for your own safety.

We’re not meant to be connected.

Of course, there was no way Theodor could know about my secret consideration. He spoke again, his voice still full of grievance.

“You think I’m only famous for being the youngest paladin commander? I’m famous as a handsome paladin too!”

Resting his chin on the back of his hand, he continued dramatically.

“Look at this—the face of the Holy Knights! The pride of the temple, never to be seen again! If I weren’t a paladin, huh? I’d have made a living just off my face ages ago!”

“Then why didn’t you, instead of becoming a paladin?”

“Well—that’s…!”

Theodor froze mid-rant, then vaguely waved it off.

“Anyway, back to the main point. Do you remember what I told you?”

I nodded.

“Keep your distance, don’t get emotional, create natural points of contact, don’t show you like him, make him think of you, and leave him wanting more. Right?”

I still had no idea how you were supposed to “leave him wanting more,” but at least I remembered the list.

Theodor grinned, clearly satisfied.

“Yeah. Just do that.”

“But how do you know all this so well? You don’t even have dating experience.”

He tapped his temple with a finger.

“I know it all from theory.”

“Theory?”

“I’ve read every romance novel on the market.”

“…….”

Suddenly, I felt uneasy.

Isn’t this one of those cases?

Someone who learned romance entirely from books.

Can I really trust this guy?

I eyed Theodor suspiciously.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“It’s nothing…”

I avoided his gaze, but I could still feel his eyes boring into me.

“You know paladins aren’t allowed to date. Do you have any idea how tragic it is to rely on romance novels for vicarious satisfaction?”

“Who asked?”

“Anyway, do your best. You were born with a romantic surname, after all.”

“What are you talking about?”

At my question, Theodor looked mildly shocked.

“Your surname, Ambervier. It’s the heroine’s surname in The Black Carriage Passes Through the Garden. Don’t tell me you didn’t know?”

“I didn’t.”

“Good heavens…”

Theodor pressed a hand to his forehead, looking as though the sky had fallen.

“You don’t date, and you don’t even read romance novels? What have you been living for? It’s a miracle you even took an interest in the duke.”

What have I been living for?

Playing dating simulation games for vicarious satisfaction, obviously.
And now I’m suffering because I got isekai’d into one of them.

“Read Black Carriage Garden the moment we get back. I mean it. How do you expect to date without reading this?”

Stop using abbreviations only you understand.

I stared at the overreacting Theodor with cold, unimpressed eyes.

If romance skills really improved through secondhand experience, I’d have left dozens of men in tears by now.

Do you have any idea how much time I’ve sunk into dating sim games?!

Completely unaware of my internal bitterness, Theodor tapped my arm lightly.

“Anyway, I’m going to go wash up. Do your best.”

I nodded and watched him leave.

Come to think of it, wasn’t Ambervier a surname Kaliton gave me?

I thought it was just something he made up casually—I never imagined it’d be the same as a novel’s protagonist.

Whether Theodor’s advice would actually work… well, I’d have to try to find out.

Thinking that I’d start seriously targeting Jerome again tomorrow, I wrapped up the day.

* * *

Once morning came, I approached Theodor, who was already prepared to depart.

“Wouldn’t it be better if we stayed together until you’re fully recovered?”

He gave me a sly grin.

“Why? Already lonely at the thought of me being gone?”

“They say having too much self-esteem is a disease, you know.”

“Mine’s justified, so I’m fine.”

“……”

I stared at him in disbelief.

Chuckling to himself, Theodor continued,

“I’ll let the Imperial Knights know your location when I meet them. Until then, work hard on appealing to the duke.”

“Got it. Travel safely.”

Theodor let out a soft laugh, then gently took my hand.

As he lowered his head, his rose-red hair spilled down softly.

Something warm and gentle brushed against the back of my hand.

Before the lingering warmth could fade, Theodor lifted his lips and looked at me.

His green eyes curved softly. It was the same smile as always, yet somehow more solemn.

“May the blessing of God be with you.”

Even after Theodor left, the place where his lips had touched still seemed warm. Feeling oddly ticklish, I rubbed the back of my hand.

A hand kiss, of all things.

As someone from a culture that prides itself on propriety, that was a rather embarrassing farewell.

The fact that Theodor was a knight suddenly came back to me.

* * *

After Theodor left,

I sat there absentmindedly, looking around the camp.

They say you don’t notice the occupied space, only the empty one—and without that noisy presence, the place felt a little hollow.

Still, I couldn’t afford to waste time. It was time to use the secret techniques Theodor had taught me.

I stopped one of Jerome’s attendants who was passing by.

“Where is the duke?”

“He went to train in the open field.”

Perfect.

If I wanted to create a “natural point of contact,” I should at least pretend to train.

Applying theory directly to practice—look at that impeccable execution.

Am I actually a romance genius?

Praising myself internally, I picked up the meat tenderizer Theodor had left behind and headed for the field.

In the clearing, Jerome—dressed lightly—was sparring with several soldiers, swords in hand.

Every time he swung his blade in a wide arc, firm chest muscles made their presence known beneath the loose neckline of his tunic.

Whoever said clothes make the man was wrong.

If the hanger is perfect, that’s all you need.

I decided to abandon my long-held belief that uniforms were the pinnacle of fashion.

Ah—right. That’s not why I came here.

Pulling myself together, I moved closer to Jerome.

I was supposed to keep my distance, so I shouldn’t get too close.

But I had no idea what I was actually supposed to do.

Training? I’ve never done that before.

I recalled the fight with the Brokshes in the cave. Was I supposed to swing it like a baseball bat?

“Hah!”

I started swinging the meat tenderizer. It was heavier than expected, and I found myself shouting every time I swung.

“Hngh! Huh! Hah! Urgh!”

Strangely, it grew quiet around me.

When I looked around, I realized all the soldiers were staring at me.

They were looking at me with deeply puzzled expressions.

What? Why are you looking at me like that?

I gave them an awkward smile.

“Ah, please carry on. I’m training too.”

The soldiers continued whispering among themselves, faces serious.

“That’s training? I’ve never seen or heard of anything like it.”

“Is it really okay to leave her like that? Isn’t it dangerous?”

“That’s a meat tenderizer, isn’t it?”

“Is she… insane?”

I can hear you, you know.

What do you know about my desperation to catch Jerome’s attention?!

And what’s wrong with a meat tenderizer?!

This is a sacred weapon that protected me from the Brokshes!

And yet, the one person whose attention I actually needed wasn’t even looking at me.

The wrong people were watching.

Ignoring the unwelcome stares, I kept swinging the tenderizer.

That’s when it happened.

Maybe I put too much force into the final swing—the tenderizer slipped from my hand and flew into the air.

It sailed straight across the training field, heading in a very bad direction.

Straight toward Jerome’s head.

“……!”

In the instant the tenderizer flew at him—

Jerome knocked it aside with the flat of his sword. With a sharp metallic clang, the tenderizer bounced off the ground and rolled to a stop.

The training field fell deathly silent.

“…….”

“…….”

“…….”

As everyone held their breath,

Jerome slowly parted his lips.

His voice was cold—sharp as ice.

“……Are you trying to kill me?”

My vision swam.