IPHW 04

Chapter 04

People often say:

“That childhood is the best time of your life.”

I used to think that was true. I even lectured my younger sister—only four years younger than me—with that annoying, condescending line: “You should be grateful for the time you’re in now.”

I thought adulthood was better than adolescence, adolescence better than childhood, childhood better than infancy…

Or so I believed!

So did I!

I thought babies had it made!

No work, no studying—just eating, sleeping, and… well, you know. What could be hard about that? Total easy life.

Fed whenever they want, patted on the back when they need to burp, sleeping whenever they feel like it… Sounds like a dream. No need to walk anywhere; you just get carried around all the time.

But it wasn’t like that.

Being a baby wasn’t about doing nothing—it was about being unable to do anything at all.

Do you know how frustrating that is? Wanting to slightly pull a curtain aside, or reach an object in front of your eyes—but you can’t do anything on your own!

At first, it felt like I’d been tied down.

Even when I strained every muscle in this tiny body, I had no idea how to move it properly, so all I could do was flail around… and then somehow manage to roll over, then lie on my stomach!

And even that was only after tremendous effort. Seriously, “only just”!

And every time I managed it, there was cheering, praise, applause—embarrassing!

…Truly heartbreaking.

And that wasn’t even the worst part.

A human being! An adult!

Lying down and just… peeing yourself…

Ugh… my dignity…

Well, maybe other babies don’t care about that part, so fine, I’ll let it slide. But still, being a baby is no ordinary hardship.

Even crawling by pushing your stomach forward takes everything you’ve got. Adults have no idea…

I lay there staring blankly at the mobile my “mother” had hung above my crib.

What am I supposed to do with this? It’s not Netflix. Don’t underestimate someone accustomed to modern entertainment…

“It’s not like I’m watching it because it’s fun. I’m just watching it because there’s nothing else to look at.”

The mobile, handmade by my mother, spun gently as it caught the sunlight, sparkling.

It wasn’t that it was entertaining… but it was oddly addictive. I hated admitting it, but it was kind of interesting. Annoyingly so.

“Shana! My beautiful daughter!”

“Could you at least say ‘our daughter’, Anaïs…”

“Our daughter!”

There they were.

My mother Anaïs and my father Kyle entered as Maria opened the door.

“Shana, it’s been a while,” my father said softly, smiling as he gently stroked my forehead. His voice was like melting honey—warm enough to stop a blizzard—and his smile was dazzling.

“A while? Kyle, have you lost your memory? It’s only been a few hours since you saw her this morning.”

As my mother said, he had rushed to see me the moment he woke up. He had stayed by my side until breakfast, and that had only been a few hours ago.

“Whether it’s hours or minutes, if I haven’t seen her, it counts as a long time,” he replied.

“You’re so dramatic…”

My mother clicked her tongue but still picked me up and held me tightly. Her slender arms looked like they had no strength, yet she lifted me effortlessly.

“Our Shana can do tummy crawling now, right?”

“Show us!”

“Uu, bha…”

Then put me down! Put me on the floor!

As she spoke while still holding me, my father added:

“You should probably put her down first if you want to see anything.”

“I don’t want to put her down.”

“Then we won’t see her crawling.”

My mother finally set me down, looking slightly regretful.

The baby room floor was covered with a soft carpet, and next to the crib there was a play area with blankets where I could crawl and play with toys.

My parents leaned forward, eyes sparkling with expectation.

“Show us, Shana!”

“Let’s see your crawling!”

Seriously… do they really think a six-month-old baby will understand what they’re saying?

“Come on, Shana, come to Mommy!”

“No, come to Daddy!”

Five adult steps away, they both held out their arms.

Not a shred of doubt that I couldn’t understand them.

“This… this is…”

It makes me want to respond!

“Ah, buh…”

“Yes, Daddy!”

“Maah…”

“Yes, Mommy!”

Ugh, I can’t even speak properly!

I looked at them with complicated feelings as they watched me eagerly.

My mother looked pale despite the afternoon sunlight. Her long neck and thin limbs made me wonder how she even survived childbirth in that condition.

“She must’ve pushed herself to give birth to me,” I thought.

She had also been bedridden for a while after I was kidnapped shortly after birth, and she still hadn’t fully recovered.

“Shana!”

Her voice calling me was sweet.

Just from the way they called my name, I could tell my parents loved me.

Like…

“Yeona.”

“Take care of Mina.”

Just like my parents from my previous life.

It wasn’t easy to accept them as my parents when I had memories of a previous life and an adult consciousness. That would be a lie.

But how could I ignore them?

People who looked at me like that… with such love.

“Shana!”

“B-bbyaaah…”

Just wait. I’ll crawl to you.

“Did you hear that, Kyle? Shana just spoke to me!”

“I heard it. Not sure what she said, but I heard it.”

My mother Anaïs was gentle in body but bright and cheerful in personality. My father Kyle, while warm toward family, seemed rather stern and distant to outsiders.

What a typical fantasy novel male lead, I thought.

If only he were from the northern territories, it would be perfect.

“Ugh, buh… bba…”

Ugh, I’m drooling!

“Shana, let me wipe your face.”

“Bbyah!”

It’ll just happen again anyway.

At three months old, babies can drool and soil themselves with confidence. I’m tough like that.

But showing progress was more important.

“My body might be a bit weak…”

Even simple movements drained my strength completely, and I fell asleep quickly afterward. If this was normal, then babies really live exhausting lives…

Sorry, babies… I used to think you had it easy…

Thinking about it, of course it wouldn’t be easy moving a body without proper muscles…

Hyaaah!

“Shana, you can do it!”

“You’re almost there!”

“You can do it, Lady Shana!”

“Just a little more!”

I pushed my belly across the floor like a turtle, but reaching my parents was impossible. Ugh… my first failure in life?

“Shana! Mom’s come closer!”

“Anaïs, that’s cheating.”

“I just wanted to help!”

My mother had indeed come closer. Not that she had been far to begin with.

Face flushed from effort, I looked up at her kneeling in front of me.

Even with drool at the corner of her mouth, she looked utterly loving.

Ah… she looks ridiculous.

I buried my face in my tiny fists.

My fists are too small and my face is too big… it hurts…

I can’t even properly feel emotional.

Babies really can’t do much.

It had been a long time since I’d been able to act spoiled toward parents like this.

My previous mother had been ill for a long time. My father worked constantly to pay medical bills, and I had taken care of my younger sister since early on. Eventually, I was even responsible for earning a living myself.

So being pampered like this felt… embarrassing, but not unpleasant.

Honestly… it felt good.

“Shana, what’s wrong? Did you overdo it?”

“Uuuh…”

No, it’s not that.

My mother reached out, but my father stopped her.

“Anaïs, she hasn’t given up yet.”

Right. I haven’t given up yet.

A former adult—no matter how vague my memory—will show you what experience looks like.

I became a turtle again. The sea is here, I am the turtle, and food is over there!

My tiny hand finally touched my mother’s fingertips.

“…Huh?”

Something inside me suddenly flowed outward.

A strange sensation—like energy, not muscle power. Something soft and luminous.

My mother’s eyes widened, and my father’s face stiffened.

“…Shana, did you just…”

“Did she use healing magic?”

“I-I think so…”

Before I knew it, my mother lifted me into her arms.

“Kyle, call the priest! Get a healer and a mage! Everyone relevant, bring them here!”

“Already on it.”

“Shana, are you okay? You don’t look sick…”

She checked my forehead, tears welling in her eyes.

“Even though she’s so small… she did that for me…”

No, I didn’t mean it like that… it just happened unconsciously…

An unintended act of filial piety.

“Madam, we’ll take care of Lady Shana.”

“Please lay her down first.”

“No! Ba! Byaa!”

No!

Finally managing to crawl a little, and now I’m back in prison…

The baby clothes are my prison uniform…

“…What am I even saying…”

My nonsense is increasing day by day.

I’m not crying. This is sweat.