Chapter : 19
“You taught me properly and diligently. That means there’s motivation inside you, too.”
“……”
“So if you find the right role, you can become a useful person as well.”
“What do you mean by that?”
She asked without much thought, but the answer she got was completely unexpected. Elena stiffened slightly.
“Useless people have no choice but to die quickly. So if you want to keep surviving, a person has to be useful.”
There was something strange and chilling about Sirius’s words.
Was this the logic he’d learned at the imperial palace?
She’d let her guard down because things felt more comfortable lately, but even now, Sirius was still someone fundamentally broken.
At the palace, his sole purpose had been survival. He’d been in a position where he had no choice but to accept twisted logic.
“There’s a count named Maximilian in the Ministry of Finance. He limps. But no one can look down on him.”
When Elena made a stunned expression, Sirius hurriedly added more explanation.
He must have thought she didn’t understand.
“He’s a capable man, so no one knows what kind of trouble they’d invite if they crossed him. He was even exempt from the order to kill all people who limp within the imperial castle. Because the Emperor favors him.”
“……”
“Why do you look so shocked?”
“……Did the Emperor really order all people who limp to be killed?”
Unable to speak honestly, Elena asked something else instead.
Sirius nodded casually. He was already completely accustomed to the Emperor’s tyranny.
“But why are you suddenly being polite? We agreed to speak casually.”
“……Ah, right.”
“Anyway, you can do it too. That’s why I told Master we should study together.”
The rule that they’d only speak casually during lessons had disappeared without anyone noticing.
But Elena didn’t have the courage—or the time—to argue.
Sirius gave a lighthearted goodbye and left, as if eager to review what he’d learned.
“See you tomorrow.”
In her hand was a piece of paper Sirius had hastily scribbled on and handed to her at the last moment. His proud expression as he gave it to her was a bonus.
‘Teach me letters again tomorrow.’
The handwriting was a mess. Elena didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Sirius doing something cute was, as expected, completely insane.
He’d gone mad for a reason, but that didn’t change the fact that he was someone to avoid.
What should she do?
Pushing aside the pity she felt for him with great effort, Elena began to think more fiercely than ever.
No matter what happened, Sirius was designed to live well and eat well. She needed to worry about herself first.
Her situation was like a paper boat—no, a tiny skiff—being swept up by a massive wave.
Judging by his behavior, Sirius already seemed to consider her as being on his side.
But Elena had no confidence she could survive beside him.
Sirius, teetering on the edge of madness, frightened her—and his environment was even worse.
With her survival instinct blazing, Elena finally thought of something.
It was nothing more than taking a hint from Sirius’s own words.
‘You have to be a useful person,’ he said.
Then there was only one answer.
Become a useless person.
Become so useless and insignificant that Sirius would be the one to abandon her first.
But being passively useless—doing nothing like she had been—wouldn’t work.
She decided.
From now on, she would actively prove how useless she was!
What should she start with? Elena decided to act like a ten-year-old.
Because Sirius, who looked nothing like a normal ten-year-old no matter how you looked at him, would definitely be unable to tolerate childish behavior.
He’d once found it ridiculous when she stomped her feet in frustration, after all—this method was perfect.
With a resolute expression, Elena made a list. At the very top was:
Playing house.
2. I Don’t Have a Dream— I Just Want to Play
Elena continued teaching Sirius how to write.
She couldn’t stand him writing “teach” incorrectly, and she also wanted to repay her debt to him properly.
They met after lunch.
After the three-day holiday ended, Duke Rode restricted Sirius’s training to the mornings only.
Something about him still being young and needing time to grow.
Before, the training had gone on all day until late at night. Back then, it really felt like the Duke intended to grind Sirius down until he died.
But Elena forbade herself from thinking like that.
Because it made Sirius look pitiful.
She quickly shook the thought from her head.
No matter how much Sirius looked like an abandoned wolf pup staring at her with pleading eyes, a wolf was still a wolf.
I can’t raise a wolf.
Steeling her heart, Elena spoke to Sirius, who was now writing fairly neatly.
“Sirius.”
“Hm?”
“There’s something I want to do.”
“What is it?”
Since this was the first time Elena had ever said she wanted to do something, Sirius snapped his head up.
“Master said he hasn’t found a suitable teacher yet, so we have plenty of time. What do you want to do?”
“How do you know you’ll like it before I even say it?”
“I don’t. But let’s do it anyway.”
His excited nod made his silver hair flutter. Elena subtly looked away.
Her head told her she should be scared, but her heart kept insisting he was cute—she was in deep trouble.
Worse still, she was becoming more and more comfortable around him.
The power of speaking casually was terrifying.
But the plan would go on as intended.
I’ll definitely become a useless person!
Resolving herself once more, Elena leaned toward Sirius.
Thankfully, he couldn’t read emotions. Otherwise, he would’ve noticed the ominous aura swirling around her.
“Then let’s finish this and go out to play.”
Elena didn’t know it, but to anyone listening, that was a very suggestive tone.
And her opponent was Sirius—who was always ready to be led by her.
His eyes sparkled as he asked,
“Go out and play?”
“Yeah. You’re pretty good at dictation now.”
On the first day he’d scored 30 points, but after two, three, four days, his score steadily rose until he averaged 80.
At this rate, he’d be able to read and write difficult books even before a teacher arrived.
It was an unbelievable growth rate for someone who’d learned letters only days ago.
There was no need to double-check—Sirius was a genius.
“…Shall we?”
As if becoming aware of his own talent, Sirius looked more relaxed than before.
And since this was the first time Elena had suggested doing something first, his curiosity was clearly piqued.
Soon, Sirius proactively made a suggestion.
“Then should we go outside and play sparring?”
“No. I suggested going out first, so we’re playing what I want.”
Elena blocked his productive suggestion with pure illogic.
Arguing was childish behavior too, so she intended to argue as much as necessary.
“Alright. We’ll do what you want.”
But Sirius accepted her stubbornness with surprising maturity.
He’s really not like a kid at all.
Elena shook her head internally.
Now it was time to teach him what being childlike actually meant.
She jumped to her feet and loudly declared the top item on her list.
“Then it’s decided—playing house!”
“…Playing house?”
After hurriedly gathering her props, Elena grabbed his hand and dragged him into the garden.
She frantically scanned the area as if finding the perfect spot for playing house was an urgent matter.
It was a strategy to keep him too overwhelmed to even think about refusing.
“That spot’s perfect! Sit here, quickly!”
The plan worked.
Sirius, swept along by the momentum, found himself seated obediently on a tree stump before he even realized what had happened.
His blank expression held a single question.
But what is playing house?
It was a word he’d never heard at the imperial palace.
A breeze brushed across his smooth forehead, clearing his head a little, and Sirius asked,
“What is playing house?”
“…You don’t know what playing house is?”
Elena’s expression grew ambiguous, as if she’d never heard such a question before.
Was this something she shouldn’t have asked him?
Sirius tried again.
“How do you play house?”
“…Ah. How you play it. Usually, you imitate a mom and dad.”
After saying that, Elena felt strange.
Neither she nor Sirius had ever had proper parents.
The atmosphere suddenly turned somber, and cold sweat broke out on her back.
This definitely wasn’t what she’d intended, so she forced a bright tone.
“In short, you act like a normal married couple.”
“That explanation makes more sense. …But I don’t want to fight with you.”
“Huh? What did you say?”
Sirius frowned slightly after abruptly saying he didn’t want to fight.
“I think ‘marital fight’ was the phrase I heard most often from the maids’ gossip.”
Elena’s mouth fell open.
What on earth had Sirius been overhearing at the palace?
Nothing about this was easy.
Who would’ve thought playing house could be this difficult?
Elena corrected her explanation.
“I’ll explain again. We’re going to imitate an ideal family.”
“An ideal family?”
“I’ll show you first. Just roughly follow along.”
Elena stood up. Games were always easier to explain with actions than words.
She picked up a stick and drew a large square on the ground, enclosing the tree stump.
“This space is our house now.”
Sirius looked utterly dumbfounded.
How is this a house?—his face said exactly that.
Ignoring him, Elena urged him on with an excited expression.
“Now pretend you’re coming home. Since we’re a couple that uses polite speech, you need to add ‘-yo,’ okay?”
“…I’m home.”
After being told he’d walked through an imaginary wall, Sirius mimed opening a door in the air and entered again.
His expression screamed existential crisis, and Elena laughed to herself.
At this rate, the plan would succeed.
“Welcome home, dear.”
“D–dear?”
Sirius’s face flushed bright red in embarrassment.
What’s wrong with “dear”?
Giggling, Elena suddenly felt an unpleasant chill.
It felt like she was missing something important…
But nothing came to mind right away, so she continued the game.
