chapter 5
Before I took a bath, my hair had been a stiff, dark gray—but now it had turned a soft, pale gray.
There were still hints of darker gray here and there, but that seemed to be just shadows created by my wavy hair.
‘If my hair color suddenly changed, people would think it’s strange… This doesn’t look like a wolf’s color at all.’
No matter how many times I ran my fingers through it, I couldn’t find the deep gray it had before washing. I tried to recall the color of my fur, but mirrors were rare in a cat’s territory.
Still, whenever I had seen my reflection in rusted metal or muddy water, it had always been gray… Oh no.
‘Maybe this was my original color, and it only looked darker because I hadn’t washed in a while. What do I do?!’
I quickly looked around, spotted a new towel, and wrapped it around my head like a coil.
…Would it look suspicious if I covered all my hair? They might think I’m trying to hide my fur color.
After a brief moment of hesitation, I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them again.
Cat ears, come out!
Twitch—
‘Okay, this should work. Theo and Deon said earlier that my ears look just like proper wolf ears.’
Standing in front of the mirror, I carefully adjusted the gray cat ears poking out from the towel so they stood up more prominently.
Once I was satisfied with how perked they looked, I secured the towel tightly so it wouldn’t fall off, then picked up the button Mrs. Gray had left on the shelf.
They said this would be the room I’d be staying in for a while, so if I hid it in the pillow, no one would throw it away.
Dragging slightly oversized slippers, I sat on the bed. As soon as I tucked the button deep into the pillowcase, the tension suddenly drained from my body.
‘Mmm… The bed is really soft. I wish I could stay here, even if it’s just for a week.’
Theo and Deon seemed to like me, but the Gridwolf couple didn’t appear very fond of me.
Especially Lord Karis—whenever he saw me, he frowned as if I upset his stomach.
‘They’re the masters of the estate… I might get kicked out before long.’
Even if they didn’t discover I was actually a cat, I knew I could still be sent away for being too young and small. They might think I’m too weak to work. Compared to wolves, I was tiny.
…Still, maybe something good might happen?
I adjusted the towel again and carefully buried my cheek into the blanket.
“Ah—!”
A gasp escaped my lips at the soft feeling I hadn’t experienced in so long. My legs, swollen from walking all the way to the Gridwolf estate, began to throb.
‘I should wait until the others come… but it’s so warm…’
With my chapped hands, I stroked the blanket a few more times. When I pressed it lightly with my palm, it sank in deeply—just like being held in my mother’s arms.
I had imagined that when the kittens were born, we’d all lie together like this in her embrace. I had planned to lick them clean and cuddle them until their fur became soft and fluffy.
‘Were my siblings boys or girls? Mom said there would be three… She was most curious about their fur color…’
As sadness welled up, my carefully perked cat ears began to droop.
‘No. I have to grow strong and take revenge for Mom.’
To do that, I needed to stay under the protection of adults a little longer.
I shook my head to drive away the gloomy thoughts and wrapped the blanket around my hands again.
Pressing into the warm blanket with both hands, as if holding onto my mother, brought me a strange sense of comfort. But I couldn’t fall asleep like this.
‘…I should stop resting and go ask Lord Karis and Lord Jackal one more time.’
I forced my trembling body to move after the exhausting journey.
“Now explain. What exactly is going on here?”
Karis’s face was stiff and heavy. Theo and Deon, who had been making adoption plans after being charmed by Kitty’s pitiful story and soft, squishy paw pads, hesitated before finally speaking.
“Her name is Kittya, and since her paws are so soft, her nickname is ‘Soft-Paws.’”
“That’s right! Her whole body is soft like a cotton ball. Just holding her makes you feel better, Mother. Wouldn’t our home be happier if someone that cute became our little sister?”
“Theo. Deon.”
Jackal’s sharp voice cut them off, his gaze making it clear that tricks wouldn’t work.
The brothers exchanged glances before continuing.
“She said she came here after hearing that the Gridwolf family gives jobs to wolves without families.”
“But you saw too, Father, Mother. It would take her a very long time before she could actually work.”
“So you made such a reckless promise? Saying you’d have her adopted into a wolf family?”
“But…”
“Theo. Deon.”
Karis scolded them sternly.
She knew her sons weren’t suggesting adoption out of bad intentions. But adoption wasn’t something to decide based on cuteness alone.
Taking in a life—she knew better than anyone how difficult that was.
“Do you remember twelve years ago, and four years ago, when the Blue Moon’s magic caused beastfolk to lose their reason and revert to beasts?”
Theo and Deon swallowed nervously and nodded.
Twelve years ago, the jewel ‘Blue Moon,’ once only mentioned in creation myths, appeared in leopard territory. Hearing that an artifact of the goddess had appeared, the leopards gathered in droves to see it.
But that was the beginning of disaster.
The Blue Moon contained immense primordial magic. Those who came into close contact with it lost their reason and reverted into beasts.
Driven mad, they tore apart small animals and attacked neighboring territories indiscriminately.
The number of victims was beyond counting.
“And you know, don’t you, that the leopards who possess the Blue Moon have tried to spread that madness to other animals through experiments?”
“….”
If the large animals in the estate were exposed to that magic and lost control again, no one could guarantee Kitty’s safety.
“But if she’s adopted, not just taken in as a maid… If Father declares that Kitty is part of our family, then even in the worst case, no one would attack her.”
“That’s right. Even when wolves turn into beasts, they still follow hierarchy.”
“Theo. There’s a difference between staying alive and living safely. How safe do you think a cat could be among wolves? Can you truly guarantee nothing will happen?”
“But Father called Kitty a wolf earlier…”
Jackal subtly avoided Karis’s sharp gaze. He couldn’t admit that he had let it slide because the little fluffball with sparkling eyes was just too cute.
Deon spoke, his voice trembling.
“She said her parents are gone. There’s no one to feed or protect her… Whether it’s a wolf den where madness could spread at any moment or the outside world, it’s all the same for her.”
“….”
Karis unconsciously imagined Kitty being torn apart by leopards. The image of the small girl’s body covered in blood made her mind go blank.
Without realizing it, she gently placed a hand over her flat stomach. Only Jackal noticed what she was thinking and remained silent.
“…Leave us for now.”
Karis spoke with a pained expression.
On the night when leopards, driven mad by the Blue Moon, rampaged and tore through beastfolk—
Deep within that forest of slaughter, Karis clutched her swollen belly, writhing in labor.
Jackal, already battered and exhausted, guarded the surroundings to ensure his wife could give birth safely. Fearing that her cries would draw enemies, Karis bit down hard to suppress her screams.
“Ugh…!”
“Milady, you must hold on…”
The pain dragged on. As labor intensified, the scent of blood carried on the wind drew more leopards, making it impossible to focus.
Karis twisted in agony as the ordeal stretched longer and longer.
But who could have known? That after the physical pain, an even greater emotional torment awaited.
She had expected a difficult birth—labor had begun suddenly in enemy territory, with nothing prepared.
But she never imagined that the daughter born after her two sons would not breathe.
“Baby… please, take a breath… please…”
Unlike her two sons, who instinctively sought milk, the last child lay still and cold in her arms.
A stillbirth.
“Milady! The enemies—!”
There was no time to grieve. The leopards were closing in.
She couldn’t fight while holding a lifeless child. The wolf knights protecting her were all severely wounded.
To save her two fragile newborn sons, she had to let go of her dead daughter.
Still barely able to move, Karis dug into the frozen ground with her bare hands.
Deeper… deeper… so the leopards wouldn’t dig her up.
Even as she dug the grave with her own hands, she kept speaking to her daughter.
“Baby… even the smallest sound… please…”
But the child did not move.
Sobbing, Karis wrapped the baby in her coat. Her hands trembled as she held her one last time before placing her in the ground.
“I’ll come back for you someday. Even if it’s cold and frightening, please endure just a little longer, alright?”
Fortunately, the leopards showed no interest in the deep pit.
And so, they barely escaped alive.
But even after ten years, that deep, dark pit remained buried in the center of her heart.
After reliving the painful memory, Karis looked at Kitty, who had fallen asleep curled up on a stool—without even realizing she had returned to her animal form.
She had come to plead once more to stay, only to collapse asleep in the hallway. Jackal had carried her into the room.
“…Jackal. I have something to say.”
Karis finally spoke, as if reaching a decision.
