Chapter 21
It felt comfortable, as though her entire body were submerged in warm water.
No—rather, it felt like lying by a sunlit window, wrapped in a thin blanket under gentle, warm rays.
While Grace was sinking into sleep, savoring that peaceful and cozy sensation, she slowly cracked her eyes open at the feeling of someone tenderly stroking her cheek.
Right in front of her was Arthur, his face covered by a black mask except for his mouth, gazing down at her with a worried look.
‘Good heavens!’
Grace screamed inwardly and snapped her eyes fully open. Her gaze met Arthur’s, who had been staring down at her all along. Startled for a brief moment, Arthur widened his eyes, then quickly returned to his usual impassive expression and spoke to her in a flat voice.
“Are you conscious?”
“……Ah, yes. But where am I……?”
“You’re inside a carriage. You suddenly collapsed, so we brought you here.”
“……Oh. Right…….”
Grace pressed her palm against her throbbing head and let out a soft groan.
That’s right—she had heard those bizarre voices again inside the ballroom and, overwhelmed by horrifying pain and fear, had lost consciousness. Just recalling the moment sent another shiver through her, and Grace wrapped her arms tightly around herself.
‘……That voice. Is hearing that dreadful voice the ‘curse’ that was placed on me?’
If so, would she truly end up dying or going mad within a year, just like the women before her?
As soon as that thought crossed her mind, the fear she had briefly forgotten came rushing back. If she had known this would happen, she should have just stayed at the mansion and pretended to be insane while trying to find a way to survive on her own.
As Grace shrank inward with regret, Arthur—who had been watching her trembling body with a conflicted gaze—slowly rose to his feet and opened the carriage door.
“Now that you’re awake, I’ll take my leave.”
She was terrified to death, yet he was going to leave her alone and go somewhere else? Seeing Arthur look as though he might abandon her at any moment, Grace urgently grabbed the hem of his clothes and spoke.
“W-Where are you going?”
“Yes. I’m getting out.”
“Where? Where are you going? Th-The party is already over, isn’t it?”
Clinging to him with desperate eyes, Grace asked. Arthur let out a short sigh and replied to her in a low, subdued voice.
“As you said, the party is over. We’re heading back to the estate now.”
“Then why are you getting out? W-We should ride in this carriage together.”
“I intend to get off and ride a horse.”
“……Wh-Why?”
“……Madam.”
“C-Can’t we just ride together in the carriage? I’m scared to be alone right now……”
Grace hesitated but clung to Arthur, who seemed determined to leave her behind.
Despite her voice shrinking with embarrassment and awkwardness, Grace held onto his clothes firmly, as if she had no intention of letting go. Seeing this, Arthur clenched his lower lip tightly.
Then, carefully prying her hand away from him, he turned his head away coldly and said,
“That won’t be possible.”
“……What? Why?”
“And from now on, I do not intend to be alone with you again. ……This will be the last time we face each other like this and speak.”
“……What did you say?”
At Arthur’s cold words, pouring out one after another, Grace stared at him blankly.
Did he truly mean it?
Grace grabbed his clothes again, but Arthur avoided her gaze and shook off her hand.
At that sight, Grace felt both disbelief and anger—and at the same time, an anxious fear that if she let him go like this, she might never see him again.
Desperately, Grace seized Arthur’s hand tightly and cried out.
“Why? For what reason?”
“Isn’t that something you know better than anyone, Madam?”
“No! I don’t know. I really don’t know—nothing at all!”
“……Madam.”
“No! You’re going to tell me to let go, aren’t you? I won’t! Not until I hear a reason I can accept!”
As Arthur urged her to release him, Grace shook her head and resisted. Arthur frowned deeply, as if in pain, and shouted at her.
“Then why are you refusing to let go? What is your reason?”
“……What?”
“A cursed monster is offering to step away on his own—so why do you dislike that? Wouldn’t it be more troublesome if you cling to me and beg for affection?”
Unable to contain his frustration, Arthur shouted sharply and pressed Grace with his questions.
At his outburst, Grace’s shoulders shrank. He had always been blunt, but kind—this was the first time she had seen him so angry, shouting like this.
It was frightening. She wanted to pull away.
And yet, for some reason, she couldn’t bring herself to let go of the hand holding him.
Confused by those unfamiliar feelings herself, Grace answered Arthur, who was glaring at her.
“……I don’t know. I really don’t.”
“Ha. You don’t know?”
“Still, I feel like I can’t let you go like this. My heart doesn’t want to let you go—what am I supposed to do?”
Grace finished speaking with a trembling, tearful voice.
Arthur stared intently at her face for a long moment.
Then—
“…Damn it!”
He spat out a curse under his breath, reached out, and pulled her tightly into his arms, embracing her.
3. Confession
Startled by his actions, Grace instinctively raised her hands as if to block him as he approached—but Arthur only pulled her into his arms more tightly, as though he had no intention of letting her go.
Then, taking Grace’s hand that was trying to stop him, he pressed it against his own chest and growled,
“Can you feel it? How the monster’s heart is going mad, running wild at each and every thing you do?”
“……!”
“I clearly warned you that night. I told you that your kindness was like giving seawater to someone dying of thirst. ……I warned you like that—so why do you keep treating me gently? Why do you smile at a monster like me, speak to me as if it’s nothing, and grab onto me, telling me not to go?”
“……Duke.”
Despite the roughness of his voice as he shouted, the hand gripping Grace’s wrist was trembling—fragile, endlessly so.
When Grace called out to him in a shaky voice, Arthur let out a hollow laugh. His eyes, wavering with intense emotion, fixed on her as he continued.
“……You’re wondering why I’m suddenly saying these things after pushing you away with a cold face all this time, aren’t you.”
“…….”
“Do you know? From the very beginning, my eyes were drawn to you. But I pretended otherwise—pretended not to see. I told myself that you would be like everyone else, someone who feared the curse placed upon me and ignored Leon, who resembles me. ……But you smiled and called that child cute, gently stroking his head. You even asked me about my birthday.”
“……Ah, that time…….”
“I couldn’t help but keep watching you whenever you showed that kindness. I locked myself away in my office under the excuse of work, staring out the window every day, waiting to see when you might come out for a walk. I told myself not to—but before I knew it, my eyes were following you outside that window, and my ears were straining to catch your voice.”
Arthur’s voice gradually lost its strength, yet he kept letting out hollow laughs as he spoke. His face was filled with nothing but despair.
Grace stared blankly as he finally released even the grip on her wrist. Seeing such sadness on his face for the first time, she wanted to say something—anything—to comfort him, but her tongue felt frozen, unable to form words.
Arthur, still staring at her, continued to bare his feelings with a face that looked as though he were both smiling and crying.
“I tried not to be greedy. I told myself that something like this didn’t suit a monster like me, that I shouldn’t want it. I convinced myself that I didn’t truly desire you—that I was merely mistaken, worn down by long years of loneliness. ……And yet, I can’t stop. The more I endure and suppress it, the more my feelings for you grow with each passing day.”
“……Your feelings… for me.”
“……Haven’t you realized by now? Yes. I’ve come to like you. A monster who must never dare to crave love or indulge in desire has gone and placed you in his heart.”
“……!”
“To avoid plunging the one I love into misfortune, I must not give my heart to anyone. That’s why I acted cold and pushed you away with everything I had. And yet, look at me—my heart sways so easily at your trivial words and actions. Isn’t it laughable?”
“…….”
“……I find myself utterly pathetic and miserable, and I can’t bear it.”
As Arthur poured out his feelings in bitter self-mockery, a single tear fell from his eye.
Then, as if a dam had broken, tears streamed endlessly from his mismatched blue and red eyes, overflowing like a flooded river.
Seeing tears pour from behind his mask, Grace felt her chest strangely tighten and ache. Her heart pounded, and she desperately wanted to stop those tears. If nothing else, she wanted to wipe them away.
But when she reached out, Arthur turned his head, rejecting her touch. Roughly wiping away the tears with one hand, he spoke in a low, heavy voice.
“……So from this moment on, I intend to do everything in my power—enough to nearly kill myself—to run away from you.”
At his resolute words, Grace felt as though the heart that had been aching moments ago crashed straight to the ground.
Clutching the hem of his clothes as he refused to meet her gaze, she asked,
“……How does it come to that? Why do you have to run away from me, Duke?”
“Do you expect me to stand by and watch you die or go mad?”
“……!”
“If I don’t distance myself from you, the curse will only grow stronger. And then it won’t end with you simply collapsing and waking up like today. Are you telling me to just watch as you slowly die or lose your mind?”
“……Then what are you planning to do? Run away like this? ……Are you going to abandon me?”
From earlier on, Arthur had not once met Grace’s eyes, as if he truly intended to distance himself from her.
That sight squeezed her chest painfully, and as Grace’s voice rose in desperation, Arthur let out another hollow laugh and replied,
“Do you truly think someone like me would dare to abandon you?”
“Then what are we supposed to do?”
“We’ll live as we did before that night—before I spoke with you, back when I didn’t know your kindness.”
As he said that, Arthur coldly pried Grace’s hand from the hem of his clothes.
Grace stared blankly at his back as he turned away and opened the carriage door, as though the passionate confession he had just made had all been a lie.
“……I’m sorry. For showing you nothing but an unsightly side of myself until the very end.”
With those words, Arthur roughly slammed the carriage door shut.
