Chapter 13
“Whatever you may be thinking, I don’t know—but to hold the title of count and manage an ancestral estate like this? It’s an insult to the estate of Burwood, to the House of Ishfern, to the people of this land who depend on it, and beyond that, to the Empire itself that entrusted you with its governance.”
She spoke with the patient tone of an adult explaining to a child that the sky is blue.
“And if all a person needs is water and bread, how are they any different from animals? Everyone has the right to pursue a better life. Are you saying you intend to take that away from them?”
At her words, Benjamin’s eyes darkened.
“Someone as childish as you has no right to speak like that,” he said in a lower, heavier voice.
“Do you even understand how many people in this land live without even a sip of clean water, a soft piece of bread, or a handful of warm sunlight? If you truly thought of them, you wouldn’t even bother looking for something as trivial as rose dew.”
“Benjamin Ishfern.”
Helena cut in sharply, her voice clear.
“You’re treating me like someone ignorant of the world, but that’s only because you don’t know me. At the very least, I’ve lived doing my duty properly, unlike a certain count who abandoned all his responsibilities and filled his head with aimless dreams until he turned his ancestral estate into ruins.”
Benjamin frowned deeply. A vertical crease formed along his straight nose.
Yet he could not immediately find a rebuttal.
Helena seized the opening.
Like a goddess of war raising a banner of victory, she lifted her chin proudly.
“From what I can see, you’ve managed this estate like a reckless fool. Now that I’m here, I won’t let it stay that way.”
Then she quickly climbed onto the bed and lay down squarely in the center.
“Oh right, I doubt the noble Count Ishfern would want to share a bed with a spoiled, childish girl, would he? The bed belongs to the spoiled girl, so the noble count can sleep wherever he likes. I don’t care.”
With that, Helena closed her eyes tightly in stubborn defiance.
Benjamin stared at her in disbelief before replying in an irritated voice.
“Do as you please. I wasn’t planning to sleep in the bed anyway.”
At his words, Helena suddenly opened her eyes, sparkling.
“Oh? So you do have a good trait after all. I’ll be using the bed, so don’t come anywhere near it. If you do, I won’t be responsible for what happens.”
Then she turned her back to him as if he were unbearable to look at.
Benjamin, glaring at her small back, picked up his documents again.
“……”
But after only a short while, Helena began tossing and turning.
At the rustling of the sheets, Benjamin looked up from his papers.
She stretched her hands left and right as if searching for something, then looked toward the bedside table with a deeply disheartened expression.
Unable to ignore it any longer, Benjamin finally asked,
“What now?”
Helena immediately dismissed his question.
“Mind your own business.”
Then she began scanning the room with a gloomy face.
Benjamin truly did not want to care. And yet, despite how fiercely she had argued moments ago, he could not ignore how dejected she looked.
With a sigh, he gave up on his documents and stood up, walking over to her.
“What exactly is the problem now?”
Helena pointed at the bedside table.
“That.”
“What’s wrong with the table?”
“Why… is there a table here? Instead of a drawer?”
“It’s not known to me. It has always been here from the beginning.”
Benjamin said patiently, suppressing his boiling irritation.
“Do you need a drawer after rose dew?”
“I don’t need a drawer specifically.”
Helena looked up at him with damp green eyes, almost pleading.
At some point, all her sharpness had vanished, leaving her looking lost and childlike.
She reached out and placed her hand in the empty space between the bed and the table.
“I need somewhere to put my hand when I sleep.”
Benjamin finally understood.
“So you want a drawer between the bed and the wall to put your hand into.”
“Yes.”
“But since there’s a table, you can’t.”
“Exactly.”
Benjamin said calmly,
“Don’t be ridiculous. We can’t rearrange furniture in the middle of the night. Just close your eyes and count sheep. You’ll fall asleep before you reach ten.”
“Again!”
Helena snapped.
“You don’t know anything about me. Stop assuming things you don’t understand—it’s getting on my nerves!”
At her words, Benjamin’s brows furrowed sharply.
“I was only trying to—”
But seeing the desperation on her face, he swallowed his anger with a long sigh and looked up at the ceiling.
Regaining his composure, he spoke again.
“Fine. I’ll stop worrying about someone I know nothing about.”
He returned to his seat and resumed sorting through the letters in front of him.
Half were debt collection notices, the other half were pleas for delayed repayment.
Both were equally exhausting.
Fortunately, Helena’s dowry—an enormous sum—had arrived, so it would ease the immediate crisis.
But deciding what counted as an “immediate crisis” was itself another headache.
As he sat there surrounded by letters, he eventually looked up toward Helena.
And startled.
She was lying in a clearly uncomfortable position, one hand tucked beneath her body, staring at him with hollow eyes.
“…What is it?”
Helena had reached her limit.
No—she had reached it long ago. She had simply been forcing herself through sheer stubborn pride, refusing to show weakness in front of Benjamin.
A tear rolled down her eye.
“What… did I even do wrong to end up like this…?”
“…?”
Benjamin had no idea what she was talking about.
She had been caught by the empress and the crown prince’s fiancée in a compromising situation with the crown prince, and was now forced into a marriage that felt like punishment.
And she was asking what she had done wrong?
Still, Benjamin was not so cold-hearted as to say that to someone crying at the edge of collapse.
He gathered a stack of letters and walked to the edge of the bed.
Then he asked,
“Is it really that important… this thing about putting your hand somewhere?”
Helena nodded miserably.
Benjamin sighed—how many times had it been already today?—and sat down beside her.
Helena’s eyes, once dull with exhaustion, sharpened again instantly.
“What are you doing? I thought you weren’t sleeping in the bed?”
Without answering, Benjamin took her small hand and slid it beneath his waist.
“Is this fine?”
“…Ah, so that works!”
“I strongly recommend you repay your debts,” he added flatly.
At that, all the tension drained out of Helena’s body.
She smiled with visible relief, keeping her hand securely under his waist, then pulled the blanket over herself and settled in.
“By the way, why didn’t you want to sleep in the bed? Don’t tell me… it’s because of me?”
“Why would you think that?”
Helena blinked lazily.
“Because you couldn’t sleep with such a beautiful woman beside you?”
Benjamin corrected her calmly.
“It has nothing to do with you at all.”
After a brief silence, he spoke again, his gaze drifting toward the dark window.
“…I’ve lived a life that had nothing to do with beds.”
“I used to be a mercenary. My unit was one of the most brutal, always heading into the fiercest battlefields in the south where monsters swarmed. To survive there, you couldn’t let your guard down for even a moment. Always pressing your back against a wall, clutching your sword to your chest.”
His voice grew quieter.
“Even so… there was hope back then. That someday, everything would get better…”
“Zzzzz…”
“……”
Benjamin turned his head.
Helena had already fallen asleep.
Completely.
One hand was still tucked under his waist, the other clutching the blanket tightly, her face buried slightly into the pillow as she snored peacefully.
Benjamin lifted her head and gently placed it back onto the pillow.
She didn’t even flinch.
As she slept deeply, snoring softly, there was not a trace of vigilance on her face.
Benjamin swallowed a sigh rising from the depths of his chest.
