Chapter : 56
Oh dear, why is he acting like this?
“You already know, don’t you? Lady Toten simply wishes for her child to live a little longer. Without placing another soul into the body, how could someone who has died possibly come back to life?”
As a similar example, Melek was also a ghost who had possessed a dead body.
Realizing there was no solution, Gabriel lowered his head in disappointment. His blue eyes seemed to ripple, as if he might burst into tears at any moment. Crying over something like this? Come on, stop it. And yet, as expected of a male lead, Gabriel held back his tears well.
“I see. Then Lady Toten will likely never return to the temple again.”
Gabriel spoke with certainty.
“Because she has lost faith in the gods.”
For a holy knight, those were quite irreverent words. Gabriel looked so kind, but sometimes he could be oddly sharp. In front of me, he’s gentle… Is this also the downside of a “only warm to the heroine” male lead character?
“I heard Lady Toten made a transaction with you?”
He wasn’t regretting the loss of a valuable customer, was he? Gabriel’s tendency to be warm only toward “my girl” made me suspicious.
“Yes. I provided holy water to Lady Toten.”
Was this really an illicit deal?
Of course not. Gabriel explained in detail from the beginning how it all happened, adding explanations here and there for my lack of common knowledge.
“In cases where holy water does not work, such as with Viscount Toten, people say that they have been abandoned by the gods… or that they are cursed.”
Rahel was not a god who treated all things equally. Where there is sunlight, there is bound to be shadow. Those who could not be affected by holy water belonged to the darkest side.
Even prisoners on death row are granted mercy, yet if holy water has no effect, it is reasonable to call it a curse. Some even say that their souls have become corrupted and are rejected by the divine.
In truth, those were just rumors that spread among the public. Gabriel said that holy water is essentially a restorative medicine, so if someone is born weak, it may simply be ineffective. Evangelin must have been in that category as well.
Lady Toten had originally been deeply devout and frequently visited the temple. After going through a difficult childbirth and receiving the help of holy water to recover her damaged body, she became an even more devoted believer.
“However, holy water did not work on the viscount.”
The child was born prematurely and was physically weak. Lady Toten believed that since it had worked for her, it would work for her child as well, and administered holy water. One bottle wasn’t enough, then two, then three. She continued purchasing holy water in large quantities, and eventually rumors began to spread.
“They said the viscount was cursed.”
In response, the temple, mindful of the circulating rumors, prohibited the supply of holy water to Lady Toten. At that time, Lady Toten knelt before Gabriel, whom she had known personally.
“I couldn’t ignore a plea for help.”
That’s how the transaction began. Gabriel would provide holy water to Lady Toten, and she would donate an equivalent amount in return. It was a behind-the-scenes arrangement, but a way for both parties to maintain their conscience. Since she wouldn’t have been able to obtain holy water otherwise, it was fair to say Lady Toten received a great deal of favor.
So that’s why Lady Toten suddenly agreed to serve as Evangelin’s chaperone.
“Then it would be better to find someone else to act as chaperone.”
“Is it that urgent?”
“It would be better for Lady Toten to spend the remaining time with the viscount.”
Gabriel decided to search more diligently for another chaperone. With only two days left, would anyone even be available? It might be better to postpone the debutante slightly. After all, I wasn’t making a formal debut at a royal audience—I was sneaking in through an invitation to the crown prince.
“Very well.”
Following Gabriel’s mood, I too felt a bit down.
It was unfortunate that the child would die, but there was nothing I could do. If I had knowledge of the original story, I might have found a clue—but without that, I was helpless. No matter how much I relied on my experience as an avid reader, situations like this were beyond me.
If there were something I could do, like the children in Daisy’s group, I would have helped without hesitation…
“If my abilities fall short, I will seek assistance from Duke Bael to serve as chaperone.”
“Duke Bael?”
“Yes. She is the mother of Raphaela.”
I was startled when a duke was suddenly mentioned—and not just any duke, but Raphaela’s mother. My jaw nearly dropped. I had assumed Raphaela was a refined young lord, but she was the son of a duke? That meant he held a higher status than me. Could Gabriel also secretly be a duke’s son? He said he was from an orphanage, but there are stories like that—where someone turns out to be the hidden child of the previous emperor.
But if he had such a powerful connection, wouldn’t he have approached them before Lady Toten? Or did he simply not want to act as Evangelin’s chaperone?
“Since Raphaela became a knight, they are effectively estranged, so it may be difficult. However, the duke is very fond of Knight Raphaela.”
Ah, so that was the last resort. Raphaela… She didn’t seem like it at first glance, but she was quite rebellious.
“Then may I ask why you summoned me today, lady?”
Ah, finally getting to the point. Of course I didn’t call Gabriel for no reason. It was to practice dancing. If I were postponing the debutante, it wouldn’t have been necessary, but Gabriel didn’t seem willing to delay it—he preferred to use a backup plan instead.
“I need a dance partner.”
“I heard you already hired an instructor?”
“They ran away after not lasting long. All that remains is Doline.”
When I mentioned Doline, Gabriel frowned in disapproval. Recently, he had secretly investigated Doline and even suggested firing her, claiming she was involved with drugs. For a moment, I thought Gabriel had evolved into an obsessive male lead who cuts off all relationships around the heroine.
When I asked Doline, she admitted she had once been tempted by drugs but was no longer involved at all. She cried and begged not to be fired, saying she loved working at the Rohanson estate. Her loyalty was impressive.
Since her remorse was clear, I decided to overlook her past lapse. This isn’t reality—it’s a novel. A bit of wrongdoing is fine.
Gabriel wasn’t against my decision to keep Doline, but he still seemed dissatisfied.
“Therefore, I would like you to be my partner.”
I stood up and extended my hand, but Gabriel hesitated slightly. For a moment, I remembered the tutor who had run away, unwilling to take my hand. What, does my hand look dangerous? Gabriel, you’ve held it before more than once!
“Do you dislike it?”
“Of course not.”
Responding quickly to my grumbling, Gabriel hurriedly took my hand.
“It is a great honor.”
He rose, guided by my hand. Our heights aligned as he stepped closer. Our breaths brushed against each other, and our eyes met. His long eyelashes trembled slightly.
Holding hands, we stood close—then suddenly, hurried footsteps echoed from outside. Mary? She’s the only one who runs like that inside the mansion. But the footsteps sounded heavier. Just as I thought that, the door burst open.
“Lady! The dress is fin—!”
It was Misha. After locking herself in her room for days, she had apparently completed the dress.
“Sorry, sorry! Please enjoy your time!”
Bang!
Misha slammed the door shut, her face flushed. Gabriel froze awkwardly, as if caught in the middle of a secret meeting. Wow, the timing really feels like a novel. Well—it is a novel.
“Schmitiana?”
The timing was impeccable. Our posture was a bit awkward, but we weren’t doing anything wrong—we were just dancing!
How should we explain this? Gabriel is my partner anyway—do I even need to explain? As I held my head in confusion, another knock came.
“Lady, it’s Misha.”
You ran away just now, didn’t you?
“Misha.”
When I called her name, she peeked her head in, scratching her cheek awkwardly.
“You were practicing with the knight as your dance partner.”
“Yes! I believe you!”
I quickly explained, but Misha replied lightly with a smile, clearly not believing it at all.
Since Gabriel had been discussing something important, Daisy had also been sent out, leaving only Gabriel and me in the room. The situation felt even more peculiar.
Before long, we had become a couple enjoying a secret meeting after sending the maid away.
Let’s think positively… Since I was keeping Gabriel as an option, this wasn’t a bad situation. I should redirect Misha’s attention quickly.
“What is it?”
“Well, if the two of you are already together, could you try on the dress while staying like that? I’d like to see how it looks!”
She must have returned because of the dress after fleeing in embarrassment earlier. Misha was truly devoted to dresses.
“Of course. Sir, would you mind waiting a moment?”
“Of course. It would be easier for the lady to adapt while wearing the dress.”
With Gabriel’s cooperation, I followed Misha—but Gabriel didn’t let go of my hand.
“Sir Gabriel?”
“Oh—ah, I’m sorry.”
He seemed unaware of his own action. He quickly let go, covering his face in embarrassment. His ears, not fully covered, were red.
I gave him a moment alone while he regained composure.
Misha, smiling brightly at Gabriel, led me out.
“Try not to be too surprised when you see it.”
Stopping in front of the room, she opened the door with a dramatic “ta-da!”
The dress came into full view. Misha’s eyes sparkled in anticipation, but I was too stunned to react.
…Isn’t this a wedding dress?
White, flowing, with a long train—it was unmistakably a wedding dress. Add a veil and it would be perfect.
“What do you think? Do you like it, lady?”
Misha eagerly explained her inspirations, the details she focused on, especially how she emphasized my shoulders…
I tried to listen attentively, but since I wasn’t very interested in clothing, all I could think was that she had put in a lot of effort. Still, I couldn’t show that in front of someone who worked so hard for my outfit.
I hugged Misha tightly.
“L-L-Lady?!”
She trembled like a leaf. I gently patted her back to calm her.
“Good job, Misha. I like it. Thank you for creating such a wonderful result despite the tight deadline.”
“T-thank you? From you, lady?”
After releasing her, she staggered, her face bright red as if she had received a great gift.
“Lady…”
“What is it?”
“You’re too much…”
She buried her face in her hands. She seemed to think I was trying to settle things with words instead of a bonus, but when I promised her one, she finally smiled brightly.
After basking in her joy for a while, she helped me get dressed.
Compared to the fitting version, the finished dress was on another level. Wearing it revealed its true beauty.
“This is truly a masterpiece… Don’t you all agree?”
Misha asked her staff, who had been nervously avoiding eye contact.
“Yes, ma’am! It should be recorded in history!”
“Yes…! At the ball, if you simply stand still, people will think it’s a crafted work of art!”
“You’re a genius! You’ve shaken the social circle! Of course, Lady Rohanson is also a genius!”
…What did I even do to deserve being called a genius? A face genius? The staff clapped with tears in their eyes. Misha seemed kind, but she definitely knew how to manage people.
“Is it comfortable to move in?”
“Yes, it’s fine.”
“Then let’s go show Sir Gabriel!”
Misha declared dramatically. I nodded along. Gabriel seemed to like Evangelin’s appearance, so this would likely work well.
Back in the reception room, Misha continued showering me with praise.
She even did so in front of Gabriel. Gabriel’s reaction wasn’t exaggerated—he didn’t gape like in a comic—but that seemed to irritate Misha.
Still, his pupils were clearly shaken, so he was definitely affected. Unfortunately, that didn’t count as a reaction in Misha’s book. She demanded more.
“Sir Gabriel, what do you think of the lady?”
“She suits you well.”
“No, you need to praise her more!”
“You look like an angel!”
“Yes! Well done, Mary!”
Mary, who had been running around the mansion, had come running upon hearing the news and took a seat beside Gabriel.
Seeing Daisy apologize, it seemed Gabriel had allowed her to stay. Among the maids, Mary was the most cheerful after Canna—she had the makings of a sunny heroine.
“She looks like a fairy!”
“Right!”
Mary continued endlessly praising me. With Mary cheering and Misha urging her on, it felt like I was being forced into a performance and I wanted to escape.
“Now, sir! You know what to say, right?”
Misha set the stage, expecting Gabriel to follow her example. The more someone is told to do something, the more rebellious they tend to become—but Gabriel seemed to think carefully.
“Lady Rohanson is like the brightest star.”
“Good.”
It was a compliment on the same level as Mary’s examples. Misha, after covering Mary’s ears earlier, nodded in satisfaction.
Satisfied? Then please understand how I feel being treated like this…
As I looked at Misha with lingering hope, she suddenly panicked and hugged Mary.
“Mary, let’s go out.”
“Already?”
Mary hesitated, but after Misha whispered something, she nodded eagerly.
Before leaving, Mary ran up to me and bowed.
“Lady, thank you for making my clothes.”
It seemed Misha had told her about requesting clothes for the others. Now that my outfit was done, they were probably starting that next.
But why thank me? I haven’t even made anything, and Misha is the one making the clothes… Is it because I’m the funding source? I accepted that immediately. Well, money matters.
Misha looked genuinely happy despite having her credit taken. How does she survive being so innocent?
“Now, Daisy, we should take your measurements too!”
“Me? But I need to attend to the lady. I’ll wait outside the room.”
“Nonsense! This is also the lady’s order! Sir Gabriel is here, so there’s nothing to worry about!”
Misha dragged Daisy out as well. I nodded to Daisy, and she reluctantly went along.
Left alone, I met Gabriel’s eyes again. The atmosphere felt awkward, yet somehow amusing.
“Would you like to dance with me?”
Unlike before, Gabriel now slightly bowed and extended his hand first.
“One song won’t be enough.”
There were many types of dances. We should try them all at least once.
“As long as you need, I will accompany you.”
When our hands met, Gabriel inhaled softly. Was he nervous? He had been so composed even when kissing someone’s hand.
This was actually the first time we had held hands properly since our farewell. Thinking about the kiss that should naturally follow made my face heat up slightly.
But the warmth of Gabriel’s hand quickly cooled that thought. Why was he so warm? Is it because his heart is cold that his body is warm?
He skillfully guided my waist into position.
The music began, though I couldn’t hear it clearly. I followed Gabriel’s lead and stepped into the rhythm.
“Perhaps Misha didn’t need to leave…”
Gabriel said it was likely her own consideration.
“She seems to hold you in special regard.”
“Because she allows me to call her by a nickname?”
“Yes. And she usually chooses her clients carefully. It wasn’t easy to bring her to the Rohanson estate at first.”
I see. At first, she had refused, saying she wouldn’t handle people’s skin—so she likely hadn’t come willingly. Gabriel must have forced her.
As we continued dancing, the conversation flowed.
Even without audible music, I followed Gabriel’s movements carefully and avoided stepping on his feet.
When the song ended, we exchanged a formal bow. In an official ball, partners would normally switch, but here we simply continued dancing.
As we separated briefly, the distance closed again, and his hand returned warmly around my waist.
The next piece seemed to be a waltz.
As we moved, Gabriel’s full attention remained on me.
“…Misha simply received payment, so she’s fulfilling her end.”
“No. Schmitiana doesn’t move for money alone. You are the exception.”
As we turned, Gabriel’s gaze lingered on me.
“When I look at you, that’s what happens.”
His blue eyes reflected me clearly, like a flawless mirror—like an untouched surface of water.
“My beliefs, philosophy, ideals… everything I’ve built from the ground up feels meaningless.”
That was Gabriel speaking, not Misha.
“What is this all of a sudden…?”
He continued without noticing my discomfort.
“The world you’ve stepped into feels like you’ve torn it apart and rebuilt it from scratch.”
As we spun, the hem of my dress spread around me.
To Gabriel, I seemed like an uncontrollable force—like a natural disaster.
It almost sounded like a heartfelt confession of love.
“…That sounds like a confession.”
I said it jokingly, but Gabriel did not deny it.
A confession? That?
I already knew Gabriel liked me, and that ending up with him would be the most ideal way to avoid a tragic fate.
But hearing it suddenly, right in front of me, made my head spin. I felt nauseous.
The abrupt confrontation with those emotions made me uncomfortable. The excitement I had felt earlier faded, and my steps grew heavy.
“…You like me?”
To me, Gabriel’s words felt less like a confession and more like self-reproach. His closed, downcast eyes looked less like someone in love and more like someone burdened by guilt.
If he had smiled sweetly and spoken romantically, I wouldn’t have felt this crushed. That would have been a flat, scripted kind of love—the male lead simply performing his role.
But this… this felt like something far more unsettling. Like something that had existed behind a screen reaching out into reality. Like words on a page suddenly wriggling into living things and crawling toward me.
“You don’t even know who I am.”
I met Gabriel’s eyes directly.
He only knows that I’m a possessor of this body. That must be why he’s conflicted. But is that really his true feeling? Or just a setting? Is he in love with Evangelin’s appearance rather than me?
Gabriel stiffened, his movements slowing. This time, I led him.
He couldn’t answer. He avoided my gaze, lips pressed tightly together. Even as he clearly wanted to escape, he continued dancing out of obligation—very like him.
His lack of response strangely brought me relief.
Right…? Even you think something is off, don’t you?
My mind settled again.
“Sir Gabriel, just accompany me at a suitable distance.”
I don’t need deep feelings. In fact, I’d prefer to avoid them.
My connection with Gabriel is to gain protection and avoid future danger.
That is all I require from him—nothing more.
Perhaps I had pushed him too far; his face had turned unusually pale. Anyone would think Gabriel was the one near death.
“Shall we stop here?”
If we continued, he might collapse.
Though we had only danced two songs, I had followed well enough to handle others too.
But I didn’t intend to keep dancing endlessly anyway—this was sufficient.
Ah… right, today I was supposed to strengthen my “net.” Did I get too carried away and end up building walls instead?
From Gabriel’s perspective, it might have seemed like I was interested, only for me to suddenly draw a boundary.
“…I quite like you.”
As the waltz finally ended, I whispered while bowing.
It might not fix anything, but it was better than saying nothing. Too much distance wouldn’t help with maintaining the relationship—I needed at least some politeness.
Gabriel definitely liked Evangelin’s appearance, so I forced a smile. It felt awkward since I rarely used those muscles, and my lips twitched slightly.
Checking my reflection, I realized the smile looked less charming and more… intimidating. I quickly lowered my lips.
Seems I really have no talent for acting.
