TSESHR 02

Chapter : 02

“No, I mean, I like you too. As a friend.”

“…….”

“But us dating… even you must think that’s not right, yeah?”

“Oh.”

Hearing that brought the memories back.

How could I have forgotten?

And right after that came…

“You saw the girls I dated, didn’t you? All this time, right next to me. Didn’t that make you feel anything? What were you thinking, confessing to me? You and those girls… No. I won’t say that.”

Yeah. There it is.

The line that crushed my confidence and dragged me into a swamp of depression.

I looked the boy standing in front of me up and down.

Tall, with soft hair, the kind of handsome face that would earn him some ridiculous title like “Top Three Princes of XX University” later. And the expression on his face clearly saying, “I’m annoyed but trying to be patient.”

“…Seo Jae-gyeom.”

“Yeah.”

He tilted his head at the sound of his name.

Right. Seo Jae-gyeom.

Back before idol-trainee Jung Eun-sung transferred in, he was the most popular guy at our school.

Even after Jung Eun-sung showed up, he still shared the girls’ attention fifty-fifty.

My first love.

‘My mom used to work as a housekeeper at Jae-gyeom’s place.’

Whenever I went to run errands at his house, Seo Jae-gyeom would always be there, dazzling.

A handsome boy my age living in a huge, spotless house nothing like ours.

Living alone with his mom, in the nicest neighborhood around, in the biggest house.

Rumored to be the secret son of a big corporation.

And I was one of the few who knew that rumor was true.

‘Oh, Kang Dahye. Hey.’

‘Kang Dahye. You’re here again.’

You’d think he’d be uncomfortable that I knew his secret, but he never showed it.

At school he’d at least greet me, and sometimes offer to walk me home if it was late. Though he never actually did—just said he would.

‘Hey, is Seo Jae-gyeom dating Kang Dahye?’

‘Don’t talk crap.’

It was the perfect environment for me to misunderstand.

But real life isn’t a drama, and I’m not the main character.

It was nothing but a misunderstanding.

“Wow, it really is Seo Jae-gyeom…”

I stared curiously at the face I hadn’t seen since senior year.

Like with many friends, we lost contact as soon as we graduated.

I had always been the one keeping the connection going, and after I bombed the college entrance exam, I was too ashamed to face anyone, so I disappeared. The thread snapped.

And Seo Jae-gyeom never once came looking for me.

“Hey. When exactly did I confess to you?”

“Hmm? I don’t really remember.”

He answered carelessly.

Just from that, you could tell—he never had feelings for me.

It’s March now.

Early March.

The semester just started—not even a week in.

Q. Confessions usually happen on special days—Valentine’s Day, the end-of-year festival, graduation trip—right?

So why in the world would you confess to a guy from your school at the beginning of the semester? Aren’t you afraid of how awkward it’d be if he rejected you? And isn’t he even in your class?

A. No.

I confessed at the end of the school year.

Last December. I’m only getting the answer now.

‘Huh? You? To me?’

‘Jae-gyeom! Hurry up! If we’re late we won’t get seats!’

‘Ah, I really gotta go. I’ll message you later, okay?’

Then radio silence all winter break.

He didn’t even come to the closing ceremony, said he was traveling abroad.

Meanwhile I spent three months clutching my phone, debating whether to message him or not, checking Chasebook dozens of times a day as pictures of him surfing at Manly Beach got uploaded.

They say no response is a response.

But what if… just maybe… I still had some hope.

My birthday is in February too, by the way. He didn’t text then either.

Then on the first day of school, when we turned out to be in the same class, he finally remembered and said, “Ah.”

And today, he’s finally giving me his answer.

Before I went back in time, I bawled my eyes out over this.

But now?

“Dahye, you’re smart. You know what I mean, right? Let’s just pretend you never said anything. And you—”

“Yeah, fine.”

I raised my hand, cutting him off.

“I get what you’re saying. Erase everything. I’m good with that.”

The heartbreaking one-sided love that made me cry every night eleven years ago now just seemed funny.

‘Honestly, Kang Dahye, you always sniff out the handsome guys.’

But really—how did I get the idea to confess?

Was he the only cute guy in my life? If so, why not just like nobody?

If I’d taken even one step back, it would’ve been obvious.

Who his heart really belonged to.

‘Whatever. We’re not gonna see each other after graduation anyway.’

I had bigger things to worry about than Seo Jae-gyeom.

Brushing dust off my uniform, I looked up at him.

He frowned slightly when I met his eyes boldly.

“Kang Dahye?”

“Sorry for crossing the line. I won’t do it again.”

“Uh…”

“Well, I’ll go first.”

“O…kay.”

“Yep.”

“…….”

“…….”

“…….”

“Oh, hey, Seo Jae-gyeom.”

“Yeah?”

“If saying ‘How could you confess after seeing all the girls I dated’ isn’t a harsh thing to say… what is harsh by your standards?”

Without waiting for an answer, I headed back to class.

I got lost, since I couldn’t remember what class I was in, but eventually recognized the faces and found it.

“My locker… oh, there it is.”

There was a lock—and I couldn’t remember the combination.

I’ll just break it.

Whack!

“Gasp.”

“Holy crap.”

The whole class stared as I beat the lock open with a broom.

“Dahye, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. I’m actually amazing right now.”

I pulled out every textbook inside, hugged them to my chest, and turned around.

I caught the eyes of a girl and asked:

“Hey, friend.”

“Uh—yeah?”

“Do you maybe remember where I sit?”

I added, “I didn’t get much sleep so I forgot,” and she pointed without suspicion.

Second row, third seat.

“Thanks.”

I sat down and stacked my books on the desk.

Then took a deep breath and flipped through them one by one.

—Korean.

Well, I haven’t forgotten the language. Just need practice. Pass.

—English.

I’ve scored perfect on TOEIC, should be fine. Pass.

—Korean history.

I remember the outline, but the details are gone. On hold.

—Math.

Um? What was this symbol again? How do you solve this?

—Second language = French, mandatory for Korea University applicants even if others don’t take it.

The only French words I remember are Joan of Arc, Napoleon, and jambon beurre??????

Also wait—math… this subject, still mostly called “the quantitative section” back then… I don’t remember any of it…?

“I’m screwed…”

I am so dead.

That’s the only conclusion I need.

I’m dead.

“Wow, nothing. I can’t remember anything.”

I don’t even remember the quadratic formula.

How long till the college exam?

A year and… seven? Eight months?

And it’s not just the exam. School grades matter too.

I have to relearn what I forgot and learn new stuff…?

Drip.

“Oh my god, Dahye! Why are you crying!”

“Huh? Kang Dahye’s crying?”

“She is!”

“Why?”

“No idea.”

“Dahye, are you okay?”

“…What happened?”

“Hey, Jae-gyeom! Dahye’s crying!”

“…She is?”

Just then, Seo Jae-gyeom walked in and looked my way.

He saw the tears rolling down my face and frowned—then sighed.

Like he already expected it.

He must find me really annoying.

“I’m not crying because of you,” I wanted to say—but it would sound like an excuse.

Ugh. How embarrassing.

“I’m going to the bathroom for a sec.”

I grabbed my phone and escaped.

Leaning against the hallway wall, I took deep breaths.

“It’s okay.”

There’s plenty of time.

I came all this way, got a second chance people could never dream of—am I really gonna whine?

“No whining. These are tears of joy.”

I wiped them away and fiddled with my phone.

Being eleven years old, it was heavy, thick, and slow.

Let’s see.

What apps did I even use back then?

“Huh. Same music app… wait, what? A crush playlist?”

[ Kang Dahye’s Crush Playlist ]

• I Should Have Just Stayed Friends
• If Only It Were Me… the One You Loved…
• I Was Always… One Step Behind You… ☆
• I Want to Tell You… I Love You… But I Hate Myself For Saying Nothing…
• A Chance Encounter Would Be Enough… If I Could See You Again… Just Once More…
• Friend’s Confession… ☆★☆
• Guess You’re… Just Comfortable Around Me…
• A Love Only I’m In ㅠ
• What Do I Do~~~ I’m Still So New At This~~

Note: Is it that hard to eat lunch with me once…? I’m dying here, stars… I want you. Jae.

“AAAAAH!”

WHAT IS THIS?!

I flung the phone.

It skidded across the floor, screen glowing, and stopped at someone’s feet.

“Uh…”

Someone bent slowly to pick it up—illuminating my entire dark history.