TPPPE 05

Chapter 5…

The older I got, the more that child taught me.

About the current situation of the Duke’s family and other noble houses. About the rebels in the “Forbidden Lands” and the royal court’s maneuvers to stop them. Everything.

Thanks to the information that child gave me, I went from being a “useless child” to at least “a child with an eye for the world.”

As the restrictions of the Forbidden Decree gradually loosened—from my room to the Duke’s residence—contact with that child suddenly stopped.

I wanted to look for them, but the rebellion had made the situation too dangerous. I couldn’t act recklessly.

Then, on the day I turned eighteen, that child came back to me.

[It’s the Day of Mercy.]

It had been months since we last spoke. And suddenly, they appear just to say this.

[Why didn’t you come all this time?]
[I had matters to attend to.]
[I was worried. I kept waiting… I was afraid something might have happened.]

I stopped my pen there.

I couldn’t continue writing.

I was afraid they’d disappear again.

Afraid I’d shed the tears they disliked the way I did the first time we met.

Forcing myself to hold back my tears, I wrote briefly:

[I want to go outside.]

I wanted freedom.

So… I wanted to see you.

I didn’t write that part—it might have been too burdensome. I knew this child hated bothersome questions, so I decided I’d wait, even if they didn’t reply. But then…

Tap.

A reply arrived.

[Shall I let you go?]

I moved my hand almost hypnotically.

[Yes.]

Even though I knew it shouldn’t be done, I wrote it.

Although the decree had been lifted, I was still Agnito. Unless I married someone, I would never be able to leave the Agnito name.

[Alright.]

Yet the reply was full of certainty.

[I’ll make it happen for you.]

As if they could grant me the long-held wish I had.

Their certainty was so overwhelming that, for the first time, I couldn’t reply that day.

There was no time to think further.

“Get married, Hanisha.”

From that day, the Duke of Agnito ordered me to marry.

The leader of the rebels and the illegitimate child of the abandoned emperor: René.

“I wonder what happened to that child.”

After that message promising to make it happen, that child never came to see me until the wedding.

“I wanted to at least hear them say it since we were best friends.”

Of course, now it was all in the past, a memory just for me…

Still, I wanted to see them once more.

“Even if I could at least know their name…”

I was thinking about the first friend I ever had as I left the archive.

“Ah? Sister!”

A familiar voice made me pause.

Dark blonde hair, green eyes. A lovely appearance.

Esther, Berth’s twin younger sister and my cousin.

On the Day of Mercy, the saintess would always go out into the streets to offer blessings on behalf of God.

But since the saintess was absent, the Duke of Agnito had hidden me—her substitute, the saintess’s daughter—under the pretense of being unwell. Esther went out instead, helping with the ceremony.

“Why are you here alone, sister? Where’s your nanny?”

“My nanny…”

Before I could finish speaking, Esther clapped her hands as if realizing something.

“Oh, right. You don’t have a nanny, just maids.”

“……”

“I must have forgotten after being at the temple for a few days. Sorry.”

Esther smiled, wrinkling her nose.

I quietly watched her.

When everyone else ignored me, Esther always called me “sister.”

“Even if others speak ill of you, I won’t.”
“You and I both lost our mothers. We are sisters who have suffered the same pain.”
“So you’ll be on my side, right?”

I truly believed I was Esther’s sister.

Not realizing she might have been using me all along.

“Ugh, I’m exhausted after going out on your behalf.”

Stretching, Esther handed me a small bag.

“Sister, please carry this for me. My arm hurts too much.”

The bag probably contained something light, like a mirror. The young lady of Agnito had no reason to carry heavy things.

It was only a show, to prove that I was lower in status than her.

“Okay.”

I took the bag from her.

“Then you carry this for me.”

I handed her the book I had been carrying.

“Ah!”

Clutching the book, Esther blinked in disbelief.

“Uh, sister. What are you doing?”

“Weren’t we sharing the load?”

“Why should I carry yours?”

“Then why should I carry yours?”

“…What?”

Esther blinked, flustered.

“…Sister, what do you mean?”

Calming herself, Esther continued.

“…I went out on your behalf for the Day of Mercy. So you should help me.”

The words carried a hidden meaning.

‘You do realize the saintess’s power was cut off because of you, right?’

“Yes, I appreciate that.”

I answered honestly.

“But I don’t think it’s necessary anymore.”

“…What?”

“I mean you don’t have to go in my place anymore. There’s no need now.”

“I… I don’t really understand, sister.”

“Well. What do you think it means?”

I smiled.

Esther’s expression slowly darkened with unease.

Her lips pressed tightly together.

She must have heard about my fight with Berth on the way to the Duke’s residence.

But the one punished was Berth.

And I, who had been locked away all this time, was out like this.

Moreover,

Esther’s eyes dropped slowly.

The books I handed her were all summaries about the four major ducal houses.

Things any member of a ducal family should read.

I could see in her mind the assumptions forming.

Perhaps… the Duke acknowledged me.

“N-no way! You can’t be a noble lady like me!”

“Why not? We agreed to act like sisters.”

“That… that was true, but…!”

Unable to refute me, Esther shut her mouth tight.

This was Esther.

She wanted to live like sisters, making me do things, but she never intended to share any benefit.

I realized then that what she wanted wasn’t sisterhood—it was to monopolize the family’s affection.

But I didn’t argue.

‘I truly… wanted to become family with you.’

Although now I knew I didn’t.

Unable to come up with words, Esther’s face turned bright red. Her nose twitched.

“Waaah—!”

Eventually, she burst into tears.

“Mamaaa—!”

As if twins weren’t enough, her cry sounded just like Berth’s.

“Oh my, noble lady!”
“Noble lady!”

The servants rushed over to hold her.

“Why are you crying all of a sudden?”

“Waaah…!”

“Did you fight with Hanisha, by any chance?”

One servant looked at me incredulously.

“N-no…!”

Perhaps fearing attention would fall on me, Esther shook her head hastily.

“Just… Ah, father didn’t come to fetch me… I was startled…”

“Oh my.”

Thinking it was her care, the servants sighed in sympathy.

But after hearing what had happened today, they couldn’t scold me.

Knowing my condition at the temple, they wouldn’t want to make things worse.

“I miss mama. Waaah—!”

Esther began calling out for the late Duchess of Agnito at the top of her lungs.

“It’s alright. It’s okay, noble lady.”

“Come inside for now. We prepared your favorite fragrant oil. Take a warm bath with it, and you’ll feel better.”

The maids, including her nanny, gently soothed her and slowly moved away.

The books I had handed to Esther fell to the floor.

“……”

Left alone, I picked up the fallen books and headed back to the room.

I wasn’t sad. All of this was for the ‘next step.’

Only,

“I miss mama. Waaah—!”

When it’s really sad or painful, you look for your mother. And it’s okay to do so.

‘Then who should I call?’

Even if I called her name… would our mother in heaven look at me with pity?

I didn’t know.

In my past lives and now in this life, I still had no family.

Anyway, I didn’t cry.

“…Hmph.”

I was only sad and slightly resentful that I couldn’t feel what it was like to call for my mother, my nose turning red.