SMR 16

~Chapter 16~

Since she had been labeled a troublemaker, no one would criticize John for ending his guardianship.

‘Did he plan all this when he blamed me for Bella’s actions too?’

Harriet felt completely deceived.

She looked around in disbelief and frustration, letting out a breath of anger. Then, she threw the gold jewelry she had been holding onto the bed and rushed out of the room.

She headed straight for the chapel.

Because the days were shorter now, candles were already lit in the chapel, but there was no one praying. At this time of day, everyone was likely resting in their rooms.

Harriet, who had rushed all the way there, stood in front of the statue, breathing heavily. Slowly, she started walking toward it.

“Did I… do something wrong?”

Step by step.

“Was taking my parents from me not enough? Do you still have more despair left to give me?” Step by step.

“This is too much. If you say suicide is a sin, then at least leave me some hope to live!”

Before she knew it, she was standing right in front of the altar.

When she stood before the statue, who was looking down at her with a gentle smile, tears began to fall from her eyes. That smile made her so angry that she wanted to run up and slap it.

“What should I do? What am I supposed to do? Stop smiling and say something!”

Words of helpless resentment poured out of her.

Harriet collapsed on the spot and burst into loud sobs.

She wanted to blame her uncle, but she knew he had no obligation to raise her like a daughter. In fact, she was already lucky that he had cared for her until she became an adult, as he had said.

So was it her fault for trusting him?

‘But what could I have done? What power do I have?’

As Harriet was crying uncontrollably, overwhelmed by her emotions, a stern voice called out from behind her.

“What are you doing? How dare you make such a loud noise in this sacred chapel!”

Normally, if she heard Catherine’s voice, Harriet would have immediately stood up and respectfully folded her hands. But she didn’t have the strength to do that right now.

Instead, seeing someone familiar only made her feel even more sorrowful.

“Mother! Mother Superior! Waaaaah!”

“Sister Harriet?”

Catherine had already guessed something serious had happened when she heard the sound of wailing, but when she saw that it was Harriet, her expression became even more concerned.

“Calm down. Crying like this won’t solve anything!”

“Hic, sniff, what am I supposed to do? Really, what can I do…?”

“Get up. Sitting on the cold floor will make you sick.”

Catherine gently guided Harriet, who was crying as if she had lost her mind, and helped her sit on a pew in the chapel.

She sat down next to her, softly patting her back, waiting for Harriet to calm down.

After a long time, Harriet stopped sobbing but continued to stare blankly into space, as if she were lost.

Catherine took Harriet’s hand.

“Tell me what happened.”

At that point, Catherine thought the worst thing that might have happened to Harriet was being told she’d have to stay at the convent for another year.

But what Harriet said left her speechless.

“What? Ending your guardianship? That means…”

“That means that when I leave this place next June, I have nowhere to go. I have no relatives to visit and no friends. I don’t even have any money.”

“So, they ended your guardianship without introducing you to anyone or giving you any money?”

Of course, if John had been the kind of man to do that, he wouldn’t have abandoned her in a convent and then cut ties with her in the first place.

Catherine began to understand what John’s intentions were.

‘He wants her to stay in the convent and become a nun.’

With nowhere else to go, the convent was Harriet’s only refuge. The convent wouldn’t turn her out in such a pitiful state, after all.

“What a wicked man.”

Without realizing it, Catherine cursed under her breath.

Harriet started crying again, tears dripping down her face.

“My life is over. Now the only option left is to die.”

“What are you saying? Die? What nonsense is this?”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t want to become a nun. To be honest, I’m not even that religious. I’d rather… sell my gold jewelry to pay for funeral expenses and end my life…”

“Harriet Listerwell! Pull yourself together!”

Catherine scolded Harriet in a voice filled with anger, something quite unlike her usual tone. It was enough to stop Harriet’s tears.

“Are you really someone who can’t do anything without your uncle? Leaving your life entirely in someone else’s hands—how irresponsible!”

“But… what can I do?”

“Anything! But first, you need to think clearly about what kind of life you want to live. Even when you left your future to your uncle, it was just vague and uncertain, wasn’t it?”

Harriet couldn’t find anything to say in response.

Her entire idea of life was to marry a ‘decent person’ and live ‘comfortably’ and ‘peacefully.’ And it was hard to deny that all of those ideas were vague.

Catherine, gripping Harriet’s shoulders firmly, spoke again.

“Picture the kind of life you really want to live, in detail. Then, think of all the connections you have and all the skills you possess, even the smallest ones. If there’s even a slight chance, you should grab it.”

“I’ll be called pathetic and looked down upon.”

“A person ready to die is scared of that?”

Catherine’s determined gaze caught Harriet’s wavering eyes.

“You must carve out your own life. Only then does luck follow.”

***

That night, Harriet couldn’t sleep.

Her mind was racing, filled with countless thoughts as if little dwarves were causing a commotion in her head.

The first thing she realized was that she had been avoiding thinking deeply about her future all this time.

She had vaguely assumed that things would somehow work out, that she could live like everyone else. Looking back now, it was such a naive and foolish mindset.

“Think clearly about what kind of life you want to live.”

Catherine’s voice pushed her forward.

For the first time, Harriet analyzed herself. She examined her true desires, without worrying about how others would see her.

Before, what she had desperately wanted was marriage, but she had never really imagined what it would be like to build a happy family.

‘I wanted to escape from my uncle’s house and live freely.’

But now that she thought about it, would getting married and running away really have allowed her to live freely?

‘What do I need to get the freedom I want?’

The answer didn’t take long to come to her.

In this era, where factories were operating and iron trains were running along the rails, something more important than honor and something that even commanded power—was money.

But for Harriet, who had nothing, earning money in the commoners’ world wouldn’t be easy.

A woman who looked obviously noble walking around the streets trying to find a job would only be seen as an easy target to be taken advantage of or sold for a high price.

So she had to find a way to make money within the noble society, where at least she understood the rules.

‘For that, I need to find another guardian.’

The problem was that she hadn’t seen any relatives other than her uncle’s family since she was twelve years old. Who would welcome someone who hadn’t contacted them in years and suddenly asked for guardianship? Especially when her reputation had hit rock bottom.

‘The fact that I don’t have any real skills to earn money is another problem.’

She sighed.

This problem with no solution continued to plague her for several days.

In the meantime, some of the other nuns and monks who had heard of her situation came by to offer their sympathy and even suggested that she stay with them at the convent.

For a brief moment, Harriet thought that living as a nun with such kind people might not be a bad option.

But that thought was quickly thrown away when someone came to visit her.

***

“What? Who did you say you are?”

“Alfonso Villey. I hold the title of baron, though it’s not a particularly prestigious family, so you may not have heard of me.”

An elderly gentleman, whom Harriet had never seen before, had come to the convent.

He seemed to be in his early 70s. Traveling by carriage for four hours at his age must have meant he had some very important business.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t remember meeting you before. Are you perhaps a friend of my grandparents?”

“No, that’s not it… I’ve come regarding something related to your parents.”

Harriet’s eyes widened.

It had been a long time since anyone had spoken about her parents.

“What is it about my parents…?”

When Harriet asked, Alfonso Villey hesitated for a long moment, as if he was making a big decision, before finally speaking.

“I heard that the Viscount Listerwell has ended his guardianship of you.”