SDFG 09

Chapter 9

After This War Ends,

A week and two days had passed since he began spending time with Sasha.

Every time the lieutenant colonel entered the barracks where Sasha stayed, he could see the bright smile of a child. In a war that had dragged on for years, seeing such an innocent smile felt almost like a miracle.

Perhaps that was why he felt even more drawn to the child.

The lieutenant colonel had informed his unit that urban combat would soon break out here. He also reminded them not to let their guard down for even a moment.

There was intelligence they could not ignore. To be precise, spies planted within the Verus army. They predicted that the Verus forces would infiltrate Fors at dawn five days from now.

He noticed the slightly open door of the barracks. Contrary to his expectation that Sasha would peek out with a cheerful expression, no one was there today.

A sense of unease rose in him. When he quickly opened the door, he found Sasha asleep inside the sleeping bag.

The child was curled up tightly, frowning deeply, with faint groans escaping.

“…Sasha.”

He called out, worried the child might be sick. Sasha did not respond, still wandering in a dream. Instead, the child’s lips were clearly moving.

Not in the common language. It was the native language of Inferna.

“Dad… Mom… Theodor…”

The child repeated the words over and over, pressing them against the lips as if trying to hold onto them. The aftermath of that day clearly still lingered.

If war meant taking everything precious from someone, did victory even have meaning?

The lieutenant colonel was only twenty years old.

All he could gain from this victory in terms of national interests was a medal—honor and status.

That would mean the defeat in the field would serve as a stepping stone to inform Salvator that the Grenfell ducal couple had fallen in disgrace, while the legitimacy of the Grenfell house still remained.

He knew this.

And yet, whenever he looked at the child suffering in front of him, the same thought returned.

What meaning would victory bring in this war?

This was not a war fought to defend their homeland. It was simply a war driven by the ruling class’s desire to seize another nation’s mining regions—and once fighting began, to dominate the entire country.

This aggressive stance strengthened the military’s authority.

If they won this war, another would surely follow.

As that thought reached him, the lieutenant colonel quietly knelt beside the sleeping child. He lifted Sasha and placed the child on the cot.

Like a kitten curled up in sleep, Sasha soon stretched out and opened tightly closed eyes.

“……”

The child’s lips moved.

‘Did you come back?’

He could read the words.

The lieutenant colonel nodded silently. They had not spent much time together yet, but somehow he felt he could understand Sasha’s words just by watching the lips move.

The child did not wallow in despair like someone who had lost everything. At first, meals were often skipped, but over time, the child began eating and even tried smiling frequently.

The cunning side he had first noticed had drawn him in—but this version of the child was no less appealing.

Sasha sat up in the cot.

“Sleep more, Sasha.”

The child shook their head. Then, taking out a notebook, began writing.

[I dreamed about my family.]

Seeing the sentence, he nodded as if he had expected it. Unlike the restless expression from earlier, the child’s face now looked somewhat bright.

[We were very poor, but we had parents who loved their children more than anything, and Theodor who cared deeply for us.]

As he read the neatly written letters, he could easily imagine the grief the child must have felt when losing them.

It had taken him far too long to accept his own parents’ deaths after they returned from the battlefield as lifeless bodies.

[I only realized recently. I used to resent my parents for waking up before dawn to run the fruit shop, and for Theodor teasing me all the time.]

The child wrote as if speaking about long-suppressed feelings. He suddenly thought the child had a remarkable talent for writing.

[Why do we only realize the love of those who cared for us after we lose them?]

It did not seem like a genuine question.

At least, that was what he thought.

“…What kind of dream did you have?”

That was all he could ask.

The child paused briefly, then continued writing.

[I dreamed of the days before the war. Mom preparing breakfast for us at dawn, Dad reading the newspaper while eating. And Theodor tugging my hair when I kept dozing off.]

Having spent nearly the entire night outside, returning to the barracks late, streaks of bluish dawn light slipped through the gaps.

In Sasha’s deep blue eyes, the empty winter landscape seemed reflected.

They were the eyes one might expect from an exhausted old person who had lived through everything.

He could offer no comforting words.

And perhaps none were needed.

Before enlisting, he had sworn to win the war no matter what. But now he wondered—what was the point?

Comrades died during training. Soldiers from the neighboring nation were killed.

How many more had to die before this cruel war would end?

The thought of “After this war ends…” felt like it was already disappearing.

Because even if this war ended, it would not truly be over.

More would follow.

[I want to go to Salvator. I want to live the life my family could not. And one day, when we meet again, I want to tell them thank you for protecting me. That because of them, I lived the happiest life in the world. Because that must have been their greatest wish.]

Reading the words, he felt strangely solemn.

“…The only thing I can say for certain is that you will live happily. You are a mature and wise child.”

Compared to himself, who had not yet seen the deeper reality of war, Sasha was certainly wiser.

The child nodded happily.

Such a lovable child.

A world where this child grew up would surely feel like spring sunlight warming fresh buds.

After such a short conversation, strangely, he began to look forward to a future where they would live together after the war.

Perhaps even surviving without winning, simply returning alive and witnessing the end, would be enough to fulfill his duty.

He wondered whether such thoughts were betrayal toward his country—or simply natural for a human being.

He did not know.

But one thing was certain: he now had one more reason to return home.

From dawn until morning, the lieutenant colonel and Sasha sat on the cot, communicating through the notebook.

Mostly led by Sasha.

He gave only brief responses.

Yet instead of feeling tired, he wished this moment could last forever.

When the child began to nod off, he laid them down and stepped outside the barracks with a cigar in hand.

Summer was approaching.

Inferna’s summer was not much different from Salvator’s. Even in summer, the air carried a slight chill.

As he lit the cigar, smoke rose into the sky.

Like the smoke drifting above Fors—the bombed center of Inferna.

He exhaled.

The taste on his tongue was bitter.

The weather showed signs of entering a dry season. Five days from now, no one could predict how harsh it would become.

Dust and wind swept diagonally across the barren land.

Soldiers braced for the coming battle. Many could not endure without alcohol or cigarettes. War was eroding not only civilians but the soldiers’ minds as well.

Even he was no different.

He wanted to find meaning in this war.

A higher purpose that required everything he had.

But unable to find it, he had only one thought left:

He wanted to protect the child who had lost everything.

Even if that feeling arose from guilt for the blood already on his hands.