IRRY 10

Chapter 10

Cotton did not leave her room for quite some time. She even told Sheildi not to come. She simply did not want to see anyone. Rikton did not come either. Whether that was fortunate or unfortunate, she felt that—for now—it was fortunate.

Cotton slowly sat up in bed. She had no idea how long she had been lying down. Just raising her upper body made her head spin with dizziness. Her throat felt painfully dry, as if it were burning. Moving as slowly as someone who had just risen from a sickbed, she walked to the table and poured water from the pitcher. Once she moistened her throat, the fog clouding her mind seemed to gradually clear.

She didn’t have the strength to go all the way to the bathroom, so Cotton soaked a handkerchief with water and sat down on the sofa. Then she gently pressed it against her stinging eyes. The heavy pressure in her head, which felt as if it were swollen, eased a little.

She had cried endlessly. Truly, she had poured everything out. The sorrow, the misery, the despair were so overwhelming that she felt like collapsing into the ground and dying.

But she could not die.

“I guess… I still love you.”

Her hoarse voice, cracked from crying, faded faintly into the air.

For the past year, Cotton had longed for Rikton. Whether it was to clear up the misunderstanding or simply because she wanted him to acknowledge her, at the end of all those feelings was love. Even with a wound this deep—one that felt like invisible blood was pouring endlessly—she still wanted to see her husband.

She thought all the moisture in her body had already dried up, yet tears welled up again.

The handkerchief was already soaked, so it no longer served its purpose. Cotton raised her arm to wipe her eyes instead, but then she paused.

“No matter how many times I tell you, you never fix that habit. At least it’s not lace fabric, but look—your skin is already red again.”

When Cotton was traveling from Kuswell to Asbern, she had once cried from severe seasickness. Rikton had stopped her when she rubbed her eyes with her sleeve, wearing a displeased expression.

No matter how hard she tried not to think about it, memories from before their marriage kept surfacing.

Before the wedding, Rikton had spoken bluntly, but his actions had always contained kindness.

But all of that kindness had likely been because he believed she was Renedhia Alfrt.

Deep down, she had known it all along. Yet she had covered the truth with a black cloth, refusing to face it. It was something that would eventually be revealed anyway, but she had simply wanted to avoid acknowledging it.

Now that Rikton had confirmed it himself, her chest ached painfully.

“If you cannot recover your memories… then there is no reason for you to remain here…”

Cotton had no answer for that.

* * *

After staying cooped up for days, Cotton finally decided she couldn’t remain like this any longer and went outside. It wasn’t because she was worried about her health. Rather, she feared that if she continued isolating herself, Rikton might see it as a petty act of protest and come to resent her even more.

Her world had collapsed, yet the outside world continued as if nothing had happened.

In fact, it almost seemed to be functioning better without her.

So she walked.

Not along the bright paths where people might see her, but toward the back of the imperial palace. Passing a small garden, she walked farther behind it until a narrow trail hidden by trees and bushes appeared. She had discovered the path while tending the garden.

Even behind the palace, people occasionally passed through, so Cotton ventured deeper. She followed the trail again and again. Eventually the path grew faint and disappeared entirely, but she continued pushing through the undergrowth.

If she looked up, she could still see the towering peak of the imperial palace through the trees, so she wasn’t worried about getting lost.

She simply didn’t know what to do with her chaotic emotions. There were too many people in the palace. Even for a short moment, she wanted to be alone.

As she continued deeper, Cotton suddenly stopped.

Slowly, she looked around in disbelief.

All she could see were trees and grass, yet something felt strangely familiar. An unsettling feeling wrapped around her entire body. Her legs trembled as their strength drained away. Unable to endure it, Cotton quickly leaned against a nearby tree.

She wanted to leave immediately.

But somehow, it felt like she should not run away.

With trembling eyes, Cotton looked around again. Goosebumps spread from head to toe. A sensation she had never felt before crawled across her skin and burrowed into her mind.

It was filthy.

Unpleasant.

And terrifying.

The trigger for her returning memories was not an object.

Nor was it a memory.

It was emotion.

The extreme fear she felt created a crack in the darkness sealing her memories. Through that tiny opening, the memories began to spill out uncontrollably.

Like paint soaking into a blank sheet of paper and forming a picture, the memories she had forgotten for ten years gradually became vivid.

When Cotton realized where this place was, her breathing stopped.

Panic surged over her.

Her face turned deathly pale.

Then suddenly, a face appeared in her mind.

First the eyes.

Then the deep gaze.

Then the bridge of his nose and the rest of his features.

The memories she had shared with him were so vivid that forgetting them felt like a sin.

Like air rushing into a sealed space, her halted breathing slowly returned. The fear receded, and strength returned to her legs.

“My goodness…!”

The expression that had looked like death moments ago now filled with indescribable joy. Tears of happiness poured down like a waterfall.

The fear tied to this place scattered like sand.

Only one truth remained, filling her with life.

“I… was Renedhia.”

* * *

Renedhia Alfrt, the only bloodline of the Alfrt couple, was showered with limitless love.

But that did not mean she was raised gently.

Her parents loved her enough to give her their hearts and souls. Precisely because of that love, they wanted her to grow into the person they envisioned.

From the age when children usually played with dolls, Renedhia began receiving strict education.

She learned etiquette and academics thoroughly, fitting for the daughter of a duke. As a candidate for empress, she was not allowed to display emotions or complain.

If she felt happy, she did not show it.

If she felt angry, she suppressed it.

If she felt sad, she endured it.

If she failed, they disciplined her with the justification of love.

As time passed, the childish whims that children naturally have disappeared. Her expressions faded as well.

The day the Alfrt couple first brought Renedhia to the imperial palace, she received praise as a model noble child. Delighted, her parents allowed her to explore the palace.

With nothing else to do, Renedhia wandered around gathering information.

Then she heard something.

When she listened closely, she realized it was crying.

Following the sound, she opened the back gate of the palace and stepped outside. There, a boy around her age was crouched beneath a tree, hugging his knees.

Most people who worked in the palace had the means and position to dress neatly.

Guests were the same.

But the boy looked thin, as if he had not eaten properly, and his clothes were worn and shabby.

“Sniff… sob… sob… Mom…!”

He was crying.

The boy, smaller than average, twisted his face as he cried loudly.

In noble society—where emotions were hidden and expressions suppressed—it was a sight Renedhia had never seen.

Watching him cry so sorrowfully, she unknowingly walked over and stood in front of him.

Then she greeted him with perfect etiquette.

“Hello. It’s nice to meet you.”

It was her first meeting with Rikton.

* * *

“Rikton…!”

Renedhia hurried back the way she had come, not even thinking to wipe her tears.

Her mind was chaotic with the sudden flood of both Renedhia’s memories and Cotton’s memories mixing together.

But one thing was certain.

Rikton and she loved each other.

Rikton and Renedhia had been lovers and fiancés.

Even though losing her memory had effectively separated them, they had fallen in love again and ended up married.

It felt like fate.

She desperately wanted to see her husband.

Despite everything that had happened, once he saw that her memories had returned, he would surely be happy.

Like before—

No, their relationship would become even stronger than before.

With that hope, Renedhia returned to the palace and immediately searched for Rikton.

He was usually in his office, but it was empty.

He was not in his bedroom.

Nor in the study.

Growing anxious, she stopped a passing servant.

“Excuse me. Where is His Majesty?”

“A—a guest has come. He should be in the audience chamber.”

The servant answered nervously. Normally he would have avoided her, but somehow he found it difficult to refuse.

Her eyes curved gently, still wet with tears yet elegant and kind.

“Thank you.”

Renedhia hurried toward the audience chamber.

Her heart pounded violently.

Her heartbeat felt like a ball bouncing against the floor.

Joy surged so strongly that tears would not stop flowing.

Finally, the audience chamber was only a few steps away.

A servant had just brought tea and was leaving with an empty tray. He slowly closed the door.

Just then, Renedhia approached and grabbed the handle before it shut.

“I’ll do it.”

The servant released it with a confused expression. Thinking he had kindly yielded, she smiled softly and turned toward the door.

If there was already a guest inside, it would be rude to interrupt. But this was too important, so she intended to ask for their understanding.

However, Renedhia suddenly froze.

She could not move.

“Now that you’ve satisfied your ambition of becoming emperor, please let my daughter go!”

A furious shout burst through the crack of the door, echoing down the hallway.

Father…?

The voice was unmistakable.

It belonged to Raben Alfrt, her father.