Chapter 28
A woman lost in deep sleep appeared in Jaeger’s line of sight.
The only light illuminating the space between them was a single lamp.
In that faint glow, he could see her relaxed face, contrasting sharply with the awkward, curled-up position of her body.
Her skin was pale and makeup-free, framed by long, thick eyelashes. Small, delicate features and a smooth jawline.
A shirt with rolled-up sleeves, her hair carelessly tied up.
For a moment, over the face of the woman he now despised so deeply, the face of a girl came to mind.
When was it…?
It was the day of the school trip.
The three children riding on the horse had been playing around, and one of them accidentally kicked the horse’s hindquarters, dragging them to an unknown place.
A torrential rain fell as if a hole had opened in the sky.
Below a steep cliff, a shivering boy curled up as his body temperature dropped, while the girl shouted above him:
“You’re not going alone! I’ll never leave you behind!”
She stayed with him until someone came and rescued them.
“Ha.”
Jaeger shook himself from the memory and let out a scoffing laugh.
Now, it was just a faint memory.
He neither remembered it clearly nor wanted to.
Yet why… why now?
“You’re not going alone, no matter what. How could I leave you behind?”
Was it that moment flashing back?
Jaeger rubbed his tired face and let out a deep sigh.
Yes. Damn it, he had once known the childhood of this woman who once smiled so brightly.
But just as she had transformed into a cruel woman, consuming her former self, those memories now seemed blurred, almost indistinguishable between dream and reality.
The Redria he remembered vividly had moods that swung drastically—cheerful by day, tyrannical by night.
She would strike with a smiling face, sob apologetically, then hum a cheerful tune with a grin.
She could torment servants with a level of cruelty that made people think she had truly gone mad.
And yet, she had been obsessively attached to him.
“I’m hurt, Jaeger!”
Especially on days she had promises with Roeni, she would call him out incessantly.
The boy had been troubled, yet part of him was pleased.
Even though she had changed, he still liked her.
Even though she relied on him and sought only him.
He knew it was a lowly feeling, but it was one he accepted gladly because it was tied to her.
Until the incident that made his hands tremble occurred.
The girl insisted on setting a nighttime meeting.
“You must come. No matter what, you have to come see me. Okay?”
“But I have a promise with Roeni that day…”
“I like you, Jaeger.”
“…”
“…I like you. So you have to come see me.”
The boy, intoxicated with the delight of first love, could only nod as if spellbound.
And that day, he went to apologize to Roeni for breaking his promise—and by chance was able to save her from danger.
Hearing the assassin’s confession, he clutched his blood-streaked eyes in despair.
“They lured me here to hurt Roeni.”
Jaeger was furious.
The person he liked had tried to use him to kill his friend.
Shame, humiliation, self-loathing, and betrayal gnawed at him.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Roeni.”
Simply because he liked Redria, he felt guilt toward Roeni.
From then on, he treated Roeni with utmost care, knowing she would carry a huge scar in her heart for life.
So, as an adult, he entered the Paladin Order, defying the opposition of the former duke.
Years later, now grown, he saw Redria at a banquet.
Contrary to rumors of her having spent time in reflection, she had become excessively indulgent.
Luxurious dresses and jewelry, heavy makeup. The modest girl who frowned at the faint aroma of strong tea was gone.
The eyes visible under her fan passed over him with disdain, like looking at a lowly insect.
His chest grew cold, and his head burned.
Redria showed no sign of remorse.
He had believed that someday she would repent and seek Roeni’s forgiveness.
He had believed they could return to the three of them as they once were.
But that was all a misconception.
The woman he had liked was originally cruel.
Realizing this made him laugh at himself for hoping her confession had been sincere.
He resented her for using his feelings.
He was disappointed in her for betraying and mocking his friend.
Jaeger vowed that day:
He would never be deceived again.
No matter what she said, suspicion would come first.
He would despise a woman who abandoned people so easily.
Thus, those bright memories gradually darkened, layer by layer.
“Haah.”
Jaeger let out a heavy sigh and pressed beneath his brow.
His heart sank, cold and damp. He knew it himself—he had no time to wallow in old memories.
He needed to leave this place quickly, secure Roeni, and protect her.
‘Then why am I still being manipulated by this kind of woman?’
He narrowed his eyes with a fierce gaze, lifting his eyelids.
‘From the start, I shouldn’t have cared about a woman like her.’
Seeing men deceived by Redria reminded him of his own past foolish self—it was unbearable.
He rested his head against the wall with a deep sigh.
As he closed his eyes, the memory of unconsciously holding Redria’s hand came to him, and he clenched his fists on his lap, grinding his teeth.
“Damn it…”
Just being near her made him anxious and restless.
Simply receiving her kindness made him feel guilty toward Roeni.
Yet his mind was still filled with thoughts of that woman.
“Jaeger, could you stay with me today?”
“I can’t.”
“Yesterday, the curtain fluttered, and a male ghost appeared. I can’t sleep alone. Okay?”
“…Just for today.”
“Yay! Jaeger, want to come sleep in bed with me?”
“…That’s not allowed.”
“Why?”
“…You don’t need to know yet.”
“Then can’t you just hold my hand while we sleep?”
“Just for today.”
“I’m not falling for that every time anymore. You always do whatever I ask so willingly.”
“That’s because I…”
The young boy’s voice scattered like a mirage.
Her thick dark blue eyelashes trembled, and her eyelids opened.
Sunlight poured over her neat face.
Jaeger raised his hand to block the light, casting a shadow over her gray eyes.
It had been a long time since he had dreamt of a girl so vividly.
