Chapter 04
 I Will Abandon You
MomâŚ
In that instant, her entire body went rigid.
A voice like bright sunlightâone she had never forgotten even for a single moment.
It was unmistakably Doyoonâs voice.
There was no doubtâher son had left this world.
So there was no way he could be calling her in such a warm and lovely voice like this.
And yet, there was only one being in this world who had ever called her so tenderly.
ââŚâŚâ
Holding both anxious hope and grief that had never cooled, Haryeong slowly turned her head.
On the opposite side of the cliff stood a child, wearing the most beautiful smile.
It was undeniably her sonâDoyoon.
ââŚDoyoon.â
Unable to believe it, Haryeong blinked her eyes wide several times.
Each time her eyelids opened and closed, sorrowful tears pooled and fell.
The child she had believed she would never see again.
Doyoonâwhite, clear, and soft as always, without a single wound.
Even through her vision blurred by tears, his figure stood out more vividly than anything else in the world.
Was this a dream? An illusion?
Or had she already arrived in the afterlife?
But if it were a dream or illusion, the child before her was far too real.
Through tears falling like rain, Haryeong instinctively reached out her hand toward him.
Just onceâjust once more, she wanted to hear him call her Mom.
âDoyoon, itâs Mom. MomâŚâ
For some reason, Doyoon only stared at her silently.
The image of him in his memorial portraitâuntouchable nowâflashed through her mind, tightening her chest painfully.
ââŚDoyoon?â
âAre you planning to die?â
ââŚ!â
At the sudden unfamiliar command that burst from the childâs mouth, Haryeong flinched and froze midair.
The voice was still Doyoonâs lively oneâbut the tone was entirely different.
As she looked more closely at him, her heart dropped.
The face was the same, but the eyes were not the Doyoon she knew.
The eyes that should have been innocent alone were deep and dreamlike, as if the entire universe dwelled within them.
Rather than a child⌠he felt like an ageless old being.
Though wearing her sonâs shell, this was clearly something else.
Standing at the threshold of death, Haryeong was certain.
âWho⌠are you? Are you⌠some kind of god?â
âWell, you could say something like that.â
âGodâŚâ
For a moment, it felt as if her heart stopped.
After that, she didnât know whether she ran or crawled.
All she knew was that she was desperately crying and begging before that mysterious being.
âPlease save him. Please⌠save my poor child. Please, pleaseâŚâ
Her sobbing soon turned into wailing, and before long into full-blown lamentation.
Collapsing onto the stone ground, Haryeong shook with grief as she cried out.
Even though every hope she had ever spoken aloud had vanished weakly into nothing, she pounded the ground and begged.
She didnât even know whom she was pleading toâshe just clung and clung again.
Save my child. Take me instead.
If only Doyoon could liveâif only that small heart could beat againâshe would gladly let her own heart be torn out.
If only she could breathe life once more into those tiny lips, she wouldnât care if her own breath ceased.
But what returned was nothing but cold reality.
Through Doyoonâs mouth, the answer to her wish came back mercilessly.
âIt is unfortunate, but that is impossible. Your child is already dead.â
ââŚAhâŚâ
âDo you regret it?â
ââŚWhat?â
âI asked if you regret it.â
There was no need to ask, âRegret what?â
Everything in her past was regretâthere was no need to single out something that wasnât.
The unwanted marriage. Living stifled under her father. Even being born.
Loving Baek Juheon. Enduring such cruel humiliation and still being unable to leave him.
Her entire life was nothing but a lump of regret.
That hardened mass rolled as it pleased, trampling her life and swallowing it whole.
âI regret it⌠I regret it. So much⌠I want to turn everything backâŚâ
The tears that poured down were heavier than the dreary rain that had fallen for days.
And through that rainfall of tears, a single thread of hope seeped in.
âThere is not no way. Though I cannot bring him back to life, I can change the childâs fate.â
ââŚChange his fate?â
âYes. If this child had never been born between you and your husband in the first place, he could live well in an ordinary family.â
ââŚâŚâ
Blankly blinking, Haryeong stared and stared at the child.
Soft hair like foxtail grass. A round, white, adorable face. Big eyes, a tiny nose and lipsâŚ
This lovely being⌠would no longer be her child?
âIt may be hard to accept at once. But if that happens, the childâs fate will be recalculated. He will not die young. Naturally, the pain you feel now would disappear as well. Of course, the choice is yours.â
The following words brushed past her ears like wind.
What remained, caught in her chest like a sieve, was only the cruel choice.
If he had not been born between her and Baek Juheon⌠he would not die.
The fear, loneliness, and pain he must have felt in his final moments⌠would not exist.
âIâll do it. If I can just prevent my child from dying, Iâll do anything.â
Her once trembling voice finally grew firm.
Whatever this being was no longer mattered.
Though she would never meet Doyoon again, the memories of him lived entirely within her heart.
Even if he were born under different parents, Doyoon would always remain her one and only son.
âIâm glad this is quicker than expected. However, there is one thing you must remember.â
âWhat is it?â
âIf you have another child again, that child will repeat the same fate. Therefore, to achieve the result you desire, you must make the right choice yourself. All regrets in this world ultimately come from oneâs own choices.â
âI will remember. I will never, never have a child again. Please tell meâwhat should I do? Iâll do anything. For my child, I could die a hundred times.â
At her desperate plea, the round almond-shaped eyes narrowed.
After a brief pause, the being in the form of her child said something utterly unexpected.
âThere is no need for that. Once is enough.â
ââŚWhat?â
âThat cliffâjump from there, and everything will begin again. If you have the courage to jump.â
There was no reason to doubt.
She had come here intending to jump anyway.
Quietly, Haryeong nodded.
Then, in a trembling voice, she carefully spoke again.
âOne last⌠request.â
âSpeak. I will decide whether I can grant it after hearing it.â
ââŚMay I⌠hug you just once?â
For a moment, those round eyes seemed to waver.
After a short silence, the being in the childâs form nodded lightly.
At the same time, Haryeong rushed forward and embraced Doyoon.
As if she would never let go again, she clutched him like a madwoman.
Though she had held him only days ago, the time without Doyoon felt like eternity.
Thick streams of tears ran endlessly down her cheeks.
âDoyoon, Doyoon⌠my baby⌠my babyâŚâ
Warm blood seemed to flow again through the body that had grown cold.
His hands and feet were filled with warmth.
And ironically, that warmth only made her realize more painfully that he had died.
The broken cry of a beast that had lost its young soaked the barren cliff.
How much time passed like that?
At some point, she felt the child in her arms begin to dissolve like grains of sand.
Like a cloud, like transparent droplets.
One thing was certainâit was heartbreakingly beautiful.
âThe choiceâŚâ
Brushing herself off, Haryeong walked toward the edge of the cliff with firmer steps than before.
There was no need for hesitation.
Without stopping even for a moment, she willingly threw herself forward.
As she closed her eyes midair, her final thought was a hardened resolve.
This time, she would make a choice she would never regret.
This time, she would absolutely abandon Baek Juheon first.
Between the gap of an instant and eternity, Haryeong fellâdown, down endlessly.
It felt like a steep cliff, or like the depths of a bottomless sea.
How much time passed?
Like a butterfly lifting its wings from the grass and flying again, her eyelashes trembled lightly, and her eyes slowly opened.
The air carried the scent of early summer.
Summer? That was strange.
Just days ago, a dreary winter monsoon had been dragging on endlesslyâŚ
She had not even gathered her thoughts whenâ
Suddenly, a face both familiar and unfamiliar entered her view.
ââŚHah!â
Startled, Haryeong reflexively shot upright.
The blanket slipped down to the floor.
âYouâre awake?â
The man who had been looking down at her slowly bent to pick up the blanket.
Her husbandâBaek Juheon.
The heartless man who had stabbed a dagger into her heart and coldly said that if she wanted, he would grant her a divorce.






