Chapter 03
The Weasel and the Teddy Bear (1)
Can a modern office worker’s body catch a fast-running weasel?
Normally, the answer to this question would be “NO.”
How could a dry, modern human—withered from staring at monitor light all day and dehydrated by CPU heat—possibly catch a wild weasel?
But the body I was currently using was the body of the holy knight, David.
A body trained purely for combat in an era before convenient inventions like scooters or cars—things that help mobility but do absolutely nothing for the human physique.
A body that had spent years in an organization where the training was harsher than that of modern militaries.
So surely, catching a cute yet detestable little weasel should be easy.
…Or so I thought.
“…….”
Before I could even react, the weasel dashed away at unbelievable speed and climbed a tall tree beside the cathedral.
David’s body was undeniably excellent.
Even after sprinting through forest paths following a four-legged animal, I wasn’t even out of breath.
But I, a modern office worker, still hadn’t fully mastered this body. It felt clumsy.
‘What’s the point of good hardware if the software is outdated…’
I should’ve learned parkour or something.
With a long sigh that felt like it sank into the ground, I slowly raised my head.
The tree I was looking up at was at least fifty years old.
Its thick trunk was so massive that even ten adult men linking arms couldn’t fully encircle it. Yet above, it grew thin and sparse.
The branches reaching toward the sky were dry and sharp at the tips, and torn strips of cloth replaced leaves, hanging over the limbs like decaying decorations. They fluttered in the wind like eerie ribbons.
No, that part was fine.
Trees can be dry.
Cloths can hang there.
If I ignored my personal bias, it wasn’t really a problem.
But when I lowered my gaze slightly, I couldn’t ignore it anymore.
‘I mean…’
The branch the weasel had climbed onto extended toward the inside of the cathedral walls.
And unfortunately, it was long.
And thin.
It looked like it would snap the moment a person stepped on it.
And it led straight into the dangerous inner grounds of the cathedral.
Even my earlier gloom disappeared at the sight.
I stared at the weasel blankly.
The weasel stared back at me, its black eyes sparkling, tilting its thin neck.
It was an adorable gesture, but I couldn’t exactly find it cute when it had my spare life in its mouth.
I looked pleadingly at the dried meat it was holding.
Regret suddenly surged through me for not eating it over the past ten days.
‘I should’ve just eaten that jerky.’
Come to think of it, there was a higher chance that it wasn’t human flesh.
Humans are not exactly easy prey. They think too fast, making them hard to kill, and there’s also the risk of disease transmission, so eating them would be inconvenient.
So who in their right mind would kill a human, carefully season its liver, and distribute dried meat like some kind of deranged aristocrat?
‘I shouldn’t have panicked…’
While I was lost in thought, staring at it with watery eyes—
“Kyuu?”
“…?”
The weasel’s tail swayed gently, and its black eyes locked directly onto mine.
It tilted its head as it shifted its front paws.
‘What is that?’
After a moment of hesitation, I slowly waved my hand back.
“Kyung!”
The small sound came with a tilt of its head.
I placed my hand back on the tree and continued thinking.
‘What does that mean?’
A form of communication between weasels? Something like that?
No, more importantly…
‘Does it understand my signals?’
As I thought about it, I suddenly realized something and my expression stiffened.
Come to think of it, this world—Mirabilis—was completely different from the world I came from.
From my perspective, it was a game world.
‘So there could be mechanics I don’t know about.’
In addition to its jump-scare horror elements, Mirabilis also had fantasy elements like purification using “holy water” and “divination.”
According to the director, there were also hidden lore elements and background settings not implemented in the game.
If that’s the case, isn’t there a common fantasy trope involving animals?
‘Beast-people, or maybe even communication with animals.’
The latter sounded like something out of a Western princess cartoon, but still.
If so…
‘Let’s negotiate.’
The dried meat was precious to me alone. Not because it was food, but because it functioned as a life recovery item.
But from the animal’s perspective, it was probably just overly salty unknown meat.
With that thought in mind, I opened and closed my mouth once, then mimed biting and pointed to my mouth.
The small creature watched me.
“Kyung?”
I repeated the gesture, clacking my teeth together like a malfunctioning woodpecker.
Strangely, the weasel’s eyes began to sparkle.
It touched its own mouth with its tiny paws, and I nodded.
“I’ll trade it for something else!”
“Kii?”
“There’s a house in the village where I can get eggs… chicken… I mean eggs…”
…How am I even supposed to gesture an egg?
My mind scrambled as I flailed my arms awkwardly, mimicking flapping.
I continued, twisting my body like I was wringing out a towel, deeply questioning my life choices while engaging in profound weasel-based communication.
And then—
The weasel moved.
“Ah…!”
It grabbed the dried meat with both front paws.
Its movement was surprisingly precise for a wild animal.
I stared at it, mesmerized.
‘Wait… does it understand?’
I looked at it with that thought.
The weasel firmly held the meat with its tiny yet sharp paws, lifted it toward its mouth—
Nom.
It bit it.
Then—
Tap!
It sprang upward like a flying fish.
Tap-tap-tap—
And dashed into the cathedral.
“….”
I stood there frozen like a stone statue, staring at the empty branch.
My mind filled with endless questions.
Who am I? Why am I here? What just happened? What is the meaning of life? What is life and death? I want to go home. Why can’t I? Why is my life like this?
The questions eventually piled up, then disappeared without a trace.
“…Haa…”
I steadied myself against the tree and exhaled slowly.
I still hadn’t adjusted to the fact that my life depended on random dried meat picked up off the street…
‘And I just got robbed of it by a goddamn trespassing weasel?’
A new thought surfaced.
‘I could catch that weasel, season it, and turn it into jerky…’
But I immediately discarded the idea.
Not because I felt sorry for it.
I wasn’t noble enough to worry about a weasel while I was dying myself.
However…
‘No guarantee the recipe would work, and no guarantee it would become an item. And more importantly…’
My cooking skills made it impossible.
I remembered something from school—during home economics class.
“Your talent is like alchemy gone wrong. You could’ve gotten funding from nobles.”
“…Huh? Was I really that good?”
“You turned bread, butter, and apples into toxic alchemy. That’s an insult, not a compliment.”
“Hey, how good are you then—damn, this is actually delicious…”
“Don’t compare yourself. Teacher! Minhyun is hitting me for skipping practice!”
“…Ah!”
So what am I even going to make jerky with?
There’s no supermarket here, no soy sauce, no nothing.
“…Ha.”
Right. It’s my fault anyway.
With that bitter thought, I straightened up.
If that’s the case, I might as well search the area for more dried meat—maybe I missed something. Maybe it respawned.
I can’t go near the villagers though, so that area’s out.
“…Hopefully I find something.”
Just as I turned—
Tap, tap-tap.
The sound of small stones falling made me snap my head toward the direction.
And—
“…Huh?”
A “new possibility” came into view.
The next morning at 7 a.m., after encountering the weasel, I stood in front of the door tightening my boot laces and checking my gear.
‘Equipment…’
A broken table stolen from a neighbor to use as a makeshift shield.
A kitchen knife for emergencies.
Two layers of padded clothing stuffed under my outfit as makeshift armor.
‘…If only David had proper knight armor.’
Unfortunately, there was none.
Did I leave it in the capital?
‘Isn’t this weird? A holy knight sent on assignment doesn’t even have a uniform?’
It felt like a police officer patrolling in civilian clothes, or a café worker working without a uniform.
Especially for a knight—it’s basically military.
But it didn’t really matter, so I dropped the thought.
The important thing was that it simply wasn’t there.
After finishing my thoughts, I restored my life gauge using the dried meat that I had previously been hesitant to eat, but now could.
Then I moved out.
My destination was the same place: the tree where I had confronted the weasel.
Before long…
“…This was it, right?”
I arrived, checked the clear sky and surroundings, and crouched near the wall.
Then—
Tap.
Thud-thud—
Between tightly stacked stones, I found the crack I had noticed yesterday, partially covered in soil.
I reached in.
Sluuup—
