Chapter 06
“Should… should I wait?”
“Hm?”
“…For you to finish washing up, oppa.”
She thought he was looking at her with affection.
But the back of his hand and forearm, as he tied the string, were taut with tension. Not only that—his aroused body was clear evidence of desire.
So Jian gathered her courage.
Not knowing what answer would come, she stared intently at his lips, her heart racing wildly.
Just as Dogeon’s mouth began to move, Jian impulsively wrapped both arms around his firm waist and pulled him into an embrace.
Thump. Thump.
Jian’s heart pounded uncontrollably fast. Contrary to what she’d imagined, her husband’s body was hot, and his skin was soft.
His solid pectorals and the rectus abdominis splitting beneath them. Holding his thick torso, she realized just how large Dogeon really was.
Even his waist and back were covered in lean muscle, without an ounce of fat.
“Ah.”
Was a hug always this sensual? Unable to meet Dogeon’s eyes, Jian tightened her arms and held him even closer.
She mustered every ounce of courage she had. But she had no idea what to do next.
Would she have been more composed if she’d had even a few experiences before? If she’d known how to handle a man.
But such assumptions were meaningless. Her first love had been Seo Dogeon, and the man of her long-standing unrequited love was the very same one before her.
No other man had ever caught her eye.
Dogeon’s body clearly seemed to want her too, yet he remained completely still. Only then did Jian gently loosen her arms and lift her head.
His gaze looking down at her was cold instead. An expression that said he could hide such desires without a trace.
When their eyes met, Dogeon narrowed his eyes and smiled. Despite the heated situation below, his face was relaxed as he looked at her.
“What did you see somewhere to make you act like this?”
“……”
“Doing things you never used to do.”
He teased her with a troubled expression, trying to lighten the mood, it seemed. So that Jian wouldn’t feel embarrassed.
“B-but you want it too, oppa.”
“I do?”
“Look at what’s happening down there.”
Jian dropped her gaze and glanced below. It was clearly evident.
“Ah.”
He pressed his index finger to his temple and furrowed his brow. His expression said he wasn’t sure what to do about this either.
“We can’t just do it anywhere.”
But I’m your wife. I’m not just anyone. We’re married, legally husband and wife…
“Do you even know what sex is?”
Surely she knew that. Jian nodded.
“If you take it lightly, you’ll regret it.”
Even though his body was already burning with arousal, his face was ascetic, as if he were cautioning a child. Jian felt a little deflated.
If even this wasn’t enough, was there no hope at all?
Her nose stung with disappointment.
“I don’t want to do anything with you.”
“……”
“So let’s stop here.”
Jian bit her lip.
“Answer me.”
His voice, lowered by a tone, felt even colder.
She hadn’t even confessed yet, but she already felt rejected.
A firm declaration that he would never see her as a woman.
“Han Jian, aren’t you going to answer?”
“I won’t…”
With a sullen face, Jian made a small act of defiance.
“I won’t answer… I just won’t.”
As she repeated those words, Dogeon let out a hollow laugh. Then he shook his head and left her behind, entering the bathroom.
Cold water poured over his head.
Even the ice-cold water couldn’t wash away Dogeon’s heat.
Bracing one hand against the wall, he sighed. Even by his own standards, it was obscenely evident.
Her full breasts, her slender waist. Her cute navel. And below that…
In that fleeting moment, Dogeon had seen so much of Jian. Her snow-white body remained like an afterimage, clouding his mind.
Even the imagination was intensely stimulating. He pressed his forehead against the bathroom wall.
Damn it. Hah.
His entire body felt like it was sizzling. As he bit his lower lip, his lower abdomen throbbed.
“Hah. Am I crazy?”
Dogeon furrowed his brow. His arousal hadn’t subsided—it was surging again.
Rubbing his furrowed brow with his hand, he took a deep breath.
He first saw Jian when she was about the height of his navel.
A child playing with a water cup in a corner of the Myeongheonjae garden. Curious about what she was doing, he approached, and her eyes went wide as saucers upon seeing him, her body leaning backward.
Afraid she might fall, Dogeon scooped her up and lifted her high. When he met her teary, glistening eyes, he realized she was frightened and quickly set her down.
‘Where are your parents?’
‘I came with Grandpa. He told me to play in the garden, so I was looking around. I didn’t pick any flowers, I didn’t step on any grass—I just sat here.’
As he silently looked at the child, she grew even more afraid. Did I look that intimidating?
He gave her a gentle smile and bent his knees to meet her eye level.
‘Uncle, do you live here?’
Dogeon couldn’t answer the child’s question right away. The word “uncle” stuck in his ears.
He would be twenty next year, but for now he was nineteen. Still young enough to wear a school uniform.
‘Why do you ask?’
‘Well, over there—under that rock, no one gives it water, so its leaves are all dried up. I’ve been secretly watering it. If you live here, I wanted to try to save it. Please, make sure to tell the owner.’
Only then did he notice the dirt on her white stockings, and her scraped palms and knees, where the white stockings had turned red.
She must have fallen while pushing through between the rocks as big as her body. Her teary eyes and the way she’d been frightened upon seeing him suddenly made perfect sense.
‘I’m going to pick you up now. Don’t be startled.’
‘Huh?’
‘I’ll put some ointment on for you.’
Dogeon had also been taking a break from the crowd. Behind him were countless watchful eyes.
He scooped the child up. The blue sky and her clear eyes imprinted themselves in his mind.
A face that trusted him infinitely.
And so, every year, Jian became a welcome visitor.
Having revisited the past, Dogeon collected his thoughts. Fortunately, the cold water seemed to have cooled his body somewhat.
To him, Han Jian could never be a woman. He’d hoisted her onto his shoulders for a piggyback ride, and once, when she was on the verge of tears at a banquet because she couldn’t find the restroom, he’d taken her hand and led her to the door.
Every time Jian grew, she was new to him. Watching her grow up beautifully without straying was a source of pride.
He didn’t want Jian to be sacrificed for a mere three-year marriage.
Even if “that” Han Jian could become an object of his desire.
After washing up, Dogeon tightly fastened his robe. Passing through the dressing room and entering the bedroom, he saw Jian lying with her back turned to him.
She had pulled the blanket up to the tip of her nose, her face buried in the pillow.
‘Should… should I wait for you to finish washing up, oppa?’
He regretted understanding just how much courage that took.
There had been a moment when, had he lost control, he might have devoured you alive like a beast.
Something that wouldn’t suit your innocent nature.
He’d wanted to throw aside all caution and restraint—to tell you not to carelessly throw away what he’d cherished so preciously. He’d lost that much self-control.
So Dogeon thought: he wished she wouldn’t show him any more openings
