PSW 05

Chapter 05

Rix asked a question and ate a bite of steak while waiting for my answer. How annoying.

I gently put down the piece of steak I was about to eat and answered. Since this was information I had heard from Hatasha yesterday, it was much easier to respond.

“Beyond Lake Tarkana.”

“Tarkana?”

He furrowed his brows.

Just as I was about to take a bite, he cut in.

“Have you been there?”

“Um.”

Couldn’t you let me take just one bite first?

Patience was boiling inside me, but I forced a smile.

“I don’t remember.”

“What did you do before coming here?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t remember that either.”

“How old are you?”

“That too….”

Judging roughly, I looked like I was in my late teens or early twenties.

Rix nodded.

Finally, the barrage of questions seemed to be over. I could finally take a bite of steak. It tasted heavenly. I almost cried.

When had I last eaten a proper steak?

The last time might have been the banquet with the president after winning a gold medal representing my country.

After that, there was the fire, then just gruel during treatment, or expired convenience store food…

I had no idea why, while eating such a delicious steak, memories of my miserable past kept surfacing.

I looked at my hand holding the fork.

Each finger was doing its job perfectly, holding the fork just right.

How long had I longed for this hand?

Lost in thought, I almost didn’t hear Hatasha speak casually.

“Originally, when someone becomes a saint, they lose their memories of the past.”

I unconsciously lifted my head. Was she protecting me? But Hatasha didn’t even look at me.

Rix furrowed his brows.

“But—”

“It is a rebirth under the blessing of Goddess Fiora.”

A vague answer, but it seemed to satisfy Rix; he closed his mouth and nodded.

Rix stared at me intently. I couldn’t tell exactly what emotion was in his eyes, but the feeling was so intense it was as if my skin might actually be pierced.

Because of his piercing gaze, I couldn’t even cut the stubborn piece of steak properly.

I had regained my hands, but cutting food had been something I had long forgotten. Especially after the burns, I had spent so long retraining my senses to accommodate the new sensations that my skills were all mixed up.

I held the knife awkwardly, slicing blindly without rhythm.

Then Rix took my plate.

With flawless posture, he sliced the steak effortlessly.

“…Thank you.”

I said, and Rix responded—not to me, but to Hatasha.

“We need to properly teach her manners.”

He stood up. Not a single sound of the chair scraping the floor.

His large hand suddenly came over and covered my left shoulder.

A chill ran from my toes up my spine.

Rix whispered playfully, yet chillingly:

“If you truly prove yourself a saint…”

He patted my shoulder a couple of times.

My hand holding the fork trembled. That delicious steak suddenly looked like nothing more than a lump of meat.

My appetite vanished.

“I’ll see you again tonight.”

Rix straightened the faint smile on his face, replaced it with a stern expression, and left the dining hall.

I finally turned my frozen head and saw the two in uniform following him outside.

I swallowed hard.

Hatasha spoke softly.

“Forget everything. Erase all memories of your life before yesterday.”

She meticulously wiped her mouth.

“That’s how you’ll survive.”

Her deep blue eyes met mine squarely. I felt as if I were sinking into an abyss.

I couldn’t say anything. I couldn’t do anything.

I froze like a statue.

Hatasha silently rose and took her staff.

Click, click—the sound of her staff on the floor faded as she disappeared.

I was left alone.

I was used to being alone. I had been alone since birth.

But I could never get used to being abandoned like this.

I stared at the steak Rix had cut for me.

Perhaps because of my emotional turmoil, my hand holding the fork wouldn’t move properly.

Externally, my hands looked fine, but the sensations inside were still hardened, as if scarred by the past.

I held my trembling hand with the other and stabbed the steak.

I managed to lift it properly, but I couldn’t bring it to my mouth.

Once Fernandez, who had been chattering, fell silent, all that could be heard was the sound of the wind.

I left the cumbersome dress where it was and walked slowly.

Walking slowly made it slightly easier, at least.

I couldn’t think of anything, nor did I want to.

Then I heard the sound of water somewhere.

Turning toward it, I saw a small fountain.

Around the intricately carved fountain, lush green grass spread out, with dandelions blooming here and there.

Watching the dandelions swaying in the breeze, I slowly moved toward the fountain.

Fernandez seemed about to speak, but he remained silent.

Pani and Tina exchanged glances but quietly followed behind me.

I perched on the fountain’s edge.

The sunlight was warm. It was the first sunlight I had experienced here.

I raised my hand to shield my eyes from the direct sunlight. My palm tingled lightly.

When I was burned, tingling felt like insects crawling over my body. But now, it felt like gentle feathers brushing my skin.

Then, Pani and Tina, who had been nudging each other and exchanging glances, turned slightly away.

Tina pulled a small, well-worn notebook from her front pocket, with a stubby pencil dangling on a thin string.

She scribbled something and showed it to me.

“Are you talking to me?”

Tina shyly nodded. Her ears were still red.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t read it.

Strangely, while spoken words were understood, their written characters weren’t readable in Korean or English.

I said sincerely, apologetically:

“I’m sorry. I can’t read letters.”

Pani and Tina exchanged confused glances.

Into this communication gap appeared the angel Fernandez. He had gone somewhere, but now he returned with five dandelions.

I quickly called to Fernandez.

“Can you read this?”

Tilting his head, Fernandez smiled brightly.

“It says, ‘If you are tired, would you like some chocolate? Eating something sweet is supposed to make you feel better.’”

At the same time, Fernandez pointed to a part of Tina’s notebook and said:

“This is not ‘joa’ but should be written as ‘좋아 (joa)’ like this.”

Fernandez took Tina’s stub pencil and scribbled the correction. Tina quickly nodded, saying “Ah.”

“It’s okay. Thank you for thinking of me.”

I felt a little more at ease and gave a faint smile.

Tina’s ears turned even redder. She nodded quickly.

Sunlight reflected on the water, sparkling. I lightly ran my hand through it.

The smooth, cold current wrapped around and brushed past my fingers.

It was a sensation I had never felt before, something I had never realized was so precious.

Gently caressing the water, I looked at the three of them.

“I have one favor to ask.”

All three of them widened their eyes.

It was a cute, peaceful scene. I couldn’t help but smile. My earlier near-unpleasant meal seemed to vanish.

“- Is this okay?”
“- I don’t know. They said you need it.”
“- You’re not going to hurt me, right?”
“- Surely not…”

Tina and Pani quickly exchanged signs. Saying “surely not,” Pani stepped closer to the table, just in case.

A large pair of scissors lay on the table.

It was the item I had asked to be brought from the fountain.

I didn’t say why.

Right now, I was lying on the floor in the room, pajamas on, with my dress spread out.

“Ugh, it’s ridiculously long…”

I muttered to myself, folding my arms, lost in thought.

Tina and Pani couldn’t understand my behavior.

Then I lay down next to the dress on the floor.

“Tina!”

Tina, who had been holding her breath, widened her eyes. I lifted my head slightly and asked:

“If I put it on, it should reach here, right?”

I pointed to my shoulder and the dress.

Pani and Tina exchanged glances and slowly nodded.

Hmm.

Sitting up, I compared the length of the dress to my knees several times.

Then, placing my hand just above my knee, I said:

“Pani, scissors.”

Startled, Pani immediately handed me the scissors, blade first.

I grabbed them and, without hesitation, cut the portion of the dress I had marked with my hand.

Snip.

Tina and Pani silently gasped. They hurried to me.

Tina quickly pulled her notebook from her pocket. Realizing I couldn’t read, she grabbed her head.

Pani held my hand with the scissors, and Tina moved the dress away from me.

I was bewildered.

“Why?”

I tried to explain with sign language, but the communication barrier was significant. Seeing this, Tina quickly ran outside.

Right outside, Fernandez was standing on the grass, blowing dandelions, finally looking like a normal child.

“Huh? Me? I didn’t blow them all, whoa!”

Tina grabbed Fernandez and brought him inside.

Inside, Pani clutched the dress tightly in the corner, and I stood there, dumbfounded.

“What’s going on—Whoa!”

Fernandez quickly turned his back and covered his eyes as soon as he realized I was only in pajamas.

“I didn’t see anything, Saint!”

I chuckled at his nonsense.

But Tina wasn’t focused on that. She grabbed the notebook from the floor, quickly scribbled something, and showed it to him.

Peeking through her fingers, Fernandez read the flying words.

“What on earth are you doing?”

Although it was a very urgent sentence, Fernandez read it like a gentle fairy tale.

Finally, a channel for communication opened. I casually said:

“I’m trying to cut the dress a little.”