Chapter : 02
“I explained this clearly, didn’t I? I have become the Saintess’s guardian knight.”
…Huh? What am I doing here?
“So stop making absurd accusations. You’re not a child, and this is exhausting.”
A man with cold eyes entered her blurry field of vision.
Aside from looking slightly younger than she remembered, it was unmistakably her husband—even if she took out her eyes and put them back in to check again.
There was no way there could be two faces like that in the world.
“Felix Teresia, the narcissist who lives off admiring himself…? Did you die too?”
The words slipped out because she was too stunned to stop them, and her husband replied icily.
“And now what sort of scheme is this?”
“You’re… not dead?”
“If you intend to pretend you’ve lost your mind, you should do a better job of it, my lady. No one will be fooled by acting that pathetic.”
That irritating tone. That polished appearance.
It was definitely him.
Unable to understand the situation, Iona instinctively took a step back. Felix looked her up and down with blatant disgust before smoothly climbing onto his horse.
Behind him followed a lavish carriage meant for escorting the “Saintess,” flaunting itself as if on purpose.
It was the finest carriage Iona had ever seen.
One she herself had never once ridden in.
“I… I only asked because it’s my birthday… I wondered if maybe you’d have dinner with me…”
She had only wanted to ask him that.
As the words stumbled weakly from her lips, as though someone else were forcing her to say them, Iona suddenly remembered.
‘Ah… I remember now. What day this was.’
But that had happened five years ago.
Staring at Felix’s retreating back, lost in thought, she suddenly realized something else and shuddered.
‘No way… That’s the uniform he wore five years ago!’
After the Saintess appeared, she changed many things.
One of them had been the Holy Knights’ uniform.
“I originally wanted to major in fashion design, you know? I have a good eye for clothes. I absolutely cannot tolerate dressing such a gorgeous body in something outdated!”
That was what the Saintess had declared, and afterward she summoned Felix day and night.
Eventually she even came to the estate personally, taking his measurements, dressing him, undressing him, over and over again.
Iona remembered clearly because she had fought about it countless times in disbelief.
As though possessed, she returned to the bedroom and grabbed the cracked full-length mirror with trembling hands.
Golden hair that people had compared to honey since her childhood swayed around her waist. Her pale cheeks and vibrant lips made it obvious.
She really was younger again.
“My lady, are you alright? I heard you argued again…”
“Tara!”
The maid who had followed her in with a worried face flinched when Iona suddenly shouted her name.
Freckles. Hair braided into twin plaits.
Gentle, wide eyes.
Tara had been the only maid in the estate who treated her kindly.
‘But one day she was suddenly dismissed. All because she accidentally spilled a little tea while serving the Saintess.’
Back then, Iona had possessed no power whatsoever within the household.
She hadn’t been able to protect Tara.
She had regretted that for a very long time.
‘If Tara is here… then this really must be a dream.’
She pinched her cheek, and it hurt, so maybe it wasn’t a dream after all.
But for now, Iona decided she would treat it like one.
“If this is a dream… then I can do whatever I want, right?”
Her eerie murmur made Tara approach with an expression of genuine concern, placing a hand against her forehead.
“Do you have a fever? If you’re sick, I can fetch medicine for you.”
“No, Tara. I’m alright. What year is it right now?”
“Uh… Year 826 of Ignareon.”
Thud!
Thud-thud-thud-thud.
Her heart pounded so violently it felt ready to break through her ribs.
Somewhere deep down, she realized this feeling was joy.
‘I don’t know what’s happening, but right now I’m twenty-three again. Since it’s my birthday, it must be October.’
That meant she was in her third year of marriage.
This was the period when so many things had already been taken from her.
When she’d suffered endless absurdities.
When her self-esteem had been crushed so completely that she still couldn’t do anything about it.
“Did the god who never once answered my prayers finally decide to help me?”
Before marriage, Iona’s family name had been Abel.
The Abel family was famous for producing High Priests for generations, and her own father had also held the position.
The problem was that the god her husband served as a holy knight was different from the one worshipped by her family.
The Abel family worshipped Isis, goddess of splendor and abundance.
The Teresia family worshipped Baldur, god of frugality and abstinence.
The two religions were practically enemies, so there was never any chance Iona would be treated well after marrying into the Teresia family.
‘But Father never cared about my circumstances. All that mattered was how much he could squeeze out of the Emperor through this marriage.’
That was why the Abel family ignored her suffering completely.
“You should endure it.”
“Husbands are naturally like that.”
“Men remain children even after they grow up.”
“If you’d acted softer and sweeter, do you think your husband would’ve behaved that way?”
“You need to learn to be sly like a fox instead of acting like some stupid bear. Tsk.”
‘I’m sick of it! Sick of hearing those kinds of things!’
And then—
“The Saintess statue you requested earlier has been moved to the garden. You said you wanted it placed somewhere sunny.”
“Oh my, I love it!”
A bright, cheerful voice burst into her ears, light enough to laugh at the sound of falling leaves.
Unlike the dim room she stood in, the outside world looked dazzling.
Originally the garden had been just as dreary as the inside of the mansion, but recently enormous sums of money had been poured into renovating it.
‘That’s right. But it wasn’t for my birthday. Back then I stupidly thought it was.’
Her husband had only spent the money to create a fitting place for the Saintess’s statue.
“You stingy bastard.”
Crunch.
Grinding her teeth, Iona spotted the pair of them.
The Saintess, with brown hair and pale green eyes, clung to Felix’s arm under the pretense of being escorted.
Ah… just how many years had she endured scenes like this?
The Saintess from another world had appeared at the New Year Festival that January.
Felix had immediately been appointed her guardian knight.
And now it was October.
He had become the Saintess’s loyal dog so thoroughly that he was even erecting statues of her at home.
Apparently statues modeled after gods were forbidden as blasphemy.
‘The year I died was Ignareon 831…’
Five whole years.
For five years she had endured watching them act like this.
Because she had nowhere to go.
Because she had no money.
Because she lacked the ability to escape her family.
“…Bring me a sturdy axe.”
Yes.
It was the sort of weather perfect for a pleasant picnic.
A completely inappropriate day for smashing someone with an axe.
A day unsuited for screams and bloodshed.
Smiling serenely, Iona gave her order to Tara.
“It needs to be a good one. The heavier, the better.”
Tara looked deeply startled by the sudden command, but thankfully she obeyed without complaint.
That was fortunate.
She had returned to a time when the only person in the household who treated her like the mistress of the estate was still by her side.
“My lady, I couldn’t find a large axe immediately, so I brought a hatchet instead.”
“Well done. Hand it over.”
This version of her had never lifted anything heavy in her life.
But the Iona who had died had reached a point where there was no one left to help her with anything.
She had done everything herself.
Cooking. Cleaning. Laundry.
Everything.
‘It’s heavy. But I can endure it through sheer willpower.’
As long as she could smash that damned Saintess statue apart!
“My lady? Why have you come outside?”
Felix frowned upon seeing her.
As always, the Saintess stared at her with wide innocent eyes.
Every single time, the woman never greeted her properly, and one of Iona’s greatest regrets was never calling her out for it.
‘Not that I want a greeting now.’
Ignoring the pair clinging together like mating insects, Iona finally exploded with words she had buried deep inside herself for far, far too long.
“No! Grown! Man! Who still cries for his mommy all the time! Ever turns out normal!!!”
BANG!!!
“And no husband! Who forgets! His wife’s birthday! Is normal either!!!”
BANG!!!
Still gripping the axe, she charged straight at the Saintess statue and swung.
Honestly, she didn’t know where that monstrous strength had come from—
No.
Actually, she did.
It was rage powerful enough to make her vision spin.
If she didn’t smash something immediately, she felt like she would suffocate.
“My lady, what do you think you’re doing?!”
“Move aside, you pathetic bastard!”
CRAAASH!!!
Crack!
The Saintess statue was hollow inside because they had wanted to save money.
It wasn’t carved from actual stone at all—just cheap plaster made to imitate it.
Why?
Because they had run out of money after completely renovating the garden.
After repeatedly striking the same spot, cracks finally spread through the statue.
And then—
Bzzzt!
[The Constellation ‘<Help!> My Husband Broke Into 14 Pieces’ has donated 10 diamonds!]
[See? I told you this would be entertaining.]
